Where am I supposed to meet people like me?

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Snowy Owl
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14 Apr 2017, 6:41 am

Everytime I go out I am just wondering around by myself.

I have tried meetup groups, I never made any real friends. Just people who are way different from me who talk to me once or twice if I go to the meetup or if we happen to bump into eachother.

I don't know what to do aymore, I feel too different from anybody else. Life is impossibly hard. I don't like it I feel isolated.



SpreadsheetMaster
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15 Apr 2017, 7:18 pm

I'm an author-in-training and went to a writers meetup group September 2015. Now people from that group are some of my best friends. I'd keep trying meetup groups if there are still others available. I went to several that I didn't like, like an atheist group that was all elderly people and a general social group that was very tiny and never had the same people. Good ones are out there. Other than that, I don't know.



CyclopsSummers
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17 Apr 2017, 7:11 am

Likewise, I'm a member of an introverts Meetup group, and although I've attended several events, I don't feel as though I relate or connect much to the other members. I can't put my finger on what it is.

The least judgmental company I've found myself in thus far, are wildlife enthusiasts. The people there are not annoyed at my general lack of knowledge on the subject (instead being eager to educate me), are not dismissive of my blue-collar job, and don't make dumb comments about my ethnicity.


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TheWalrys435
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10 May 2017, 2:57 pm

I'm not sure how your Aspergers effects you, but for myself, I'm come to the conclusion that there isn't anyone "like" me. I really think I'm on my own. I am very grateful for the family and few friends I have and I appreciate their companionship, but all of them...not some or most...all of them think I'm kind of "off" mentally. The person I related to most in the world was my father. When I mentioned Aspergers to him toward the end of his life, he said that he believes that he has the disorder as well. Little surprising for me but it explained a lot. Anyway, even my father thought I was pretty odd. Now he's gone and I truly see eye to eye with no one. It's lonely. But I try to remind myself that I'm fortunate to have anyone who cares. What I do is just try to appreciate people for what they are and how I can relate to them, maybe just a little bit of them and visa versa.
For example, one's good for having happy fun times. Another one can relate to my sense of loss. Another one relates to my feelings of alienation and so on. I don't mean that I'm reducing these peoples value to specific attributes. But they are generalizations that often fit my respective relationships.
Because of our common struggle with being different from most people, I was expecting a more understanding and united community here on WrongPlanet. I have to admit, that I am kind of disappointed with the site overall. Not with the people maintaining the site, but with the sociology here overall. I thought I'd relate to people more here and they to me but that's not really happening.
I'm just offering my two cents because of my experience. If you're anything like me, relating to others in a truly bonding way may be an impossibility.



CyclopsSummers
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12 May 2017, 1:01 am

TheWalrys435 wrote:
I'm not sure how your Aspergers effects you, but for myself, I'm come to the conclusion that there isn't anyone "like" me. I really think I'm on my own. I am very grateful for the family and few friends I have and I appreciate their companionship, but all of them...not some or most...all of them think I'm kind of "off" mentally. The person I related to most in the world was my father. When I mentioned Aspergers to him toward the end of his life, he said that he believes that he has the disorder as well. Little surprising for me but it explained a lot. Anyway, even my father thought I was pretty odd. Now he's gone and I truly see eye to eye with no one. It's lonely. But I try to remind myself that I'm fortunate to have anyone who cares. What I do is just try to appreciate people for what they are and how I can relate to them, maybe just a little bit of them and visa versa.
For example, one's good for having happy fun times. Another one can relate to my sense of loss. Another one relates to my feelings of alienation and so on. I don't mean that I'm reducing these peoples value to specific attributes. But they are generalizations that often fit my respective relationships.
Because of our common struggle with being different from most people, I was expecting a more understanding and united community here on WrongPlanet. I have to admit, that I am kind of disappointed with the site overall. Not with the people maintaining the site, but with the sociology here overall. I thought I'd relate to people more here and they to me but that's not really happening.
I'm just offering my two cents because of my experience. If you're anything like me, relating to others in a truly bonding way may be an impossibility.

I can relate to this to a great extent (though, in keeping with the theme of the thread, not a hundred percent :wink: ).

To return to my experiences with meetup.com, it's funny to note that in the section of the user profiles where the reasons for joining the Introverts Group are given, a great many members have written down "to meet like-minded people". Meeting like-minded people or "kindred spirits" if you will, used to be a primary ojective for me as well in joining groups/clubs/organisations that were based around a common interest or hobby. After eight years of searching, I had to come to the conclusion that these kindred spirits are few and far between, if they exist at all. I'm not certain I've ever encountered one.

At work (my primary source of social interaction) I've only a handful of co-workers I find I can relate to very much; with one in particular there is quite a lot of overlap in interests. But that doesn't seem to be developing into an off-work acquaintance any time soon.


More than anything, I've come to view myself as a spectator rather than a participant in any social situation. I observe other people now with an almost anthropological curiosity.


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Summer_Twilight
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12 May 2017, 9:11 am

Meet-up groups depend on your special interests and they have different activities. For instance, one of the local meet-ups are science related and they mainly do free lectures in universities and the like. What are your special interests? What profession are you interested in etc?

Other places to meet people would be coffee shops and events of things that you hold interest. For example, a former friend of mine met another friend by going to a Zelda themed concert.



RandomFox
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14 May 2017, 12:26 pm

I love meetups, without them I'd have no social life at all. I can join anytime, have a break for months, go to events or themed meetups (science lectures in pubs, crafting meetups, board/card games, films), they are full of quirky people, some definitely very introverted, some probably on the autistic spectrum too (just my impression, never asked). All ages welcome (unless it's like "Singles 18-30"), you can pick meetings with not much silly social chit-chat and awkward beer sipping in a circle of people :D

I haven't made any close friends there (2 closer than others maybe) - working and parenting takes up loads of time and energy and often I just want alone time, because that's how I recharge, calm down, relax. I need time for reading, my interests, creative activities... Add boyfriends to the mix, if I have one at some moment in time, and time for other people suddenly becomes one evening in 3 weeks, which is nothing.

I don't think I've met any "people like me" over the years, especially not women, but it's easy to find something in common, especially if you go to themed meetups like "Star Wars geeks" or "Science Enthusiasts" which gives you a common starting point straight away :)