I don't think a coworker likes me any more

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I think I have upset a coworker who I've always got on with so well.
One day a week I have to get a bus straight after work, and I like to leave work dead on time as to make sure I don't miss it. Usually on this particular day this particular coworker has a day off, but lately she's been in on this day to cover someone else's shift who will be off sick for a while.
But, despite how much I like this coworker and she likes me, she gets carried away with rules and authority, and once told me I can't rush out of work to catch the bus if we are short-staffed (and we usually are short-staffed).
So I decided I had to tell her in the politest way possible that I need to get this bus at this certain time on this certain day every week, and that everybody else appreciates that, and then I asked her what weeks she's going to be covering the other person's shift.
I know that my hidden message might have sounded rather mean, but I am always so tactful and people are always telling me to be selfish or assertive sometimes, and so I didn't think she would take offense to it, but I think she has took offense to the way I asked her what weeks she will be covering the other shift (it might have sounded like I don't want her there on the day I get the bus). She still talks to me and everything, but I can still tell that our friendship isn't the same as it once was, ever since I told her how I felt about catching my bus.

I have apologized to her and she says it's fine and everything, and I added that I do get anxious about missing buses, and she seemed to accept, but I can still feel a bit of hostility there. I've been on vacation in the last 2 weeks and she hasn't once liked or commented on my Facebook statuses or pictures, and usually she does, especially if we haven't seen each other for a while. I would do the same on her statuses but she doesn't really post much at all, even though she goes on Facebook a lot.

But I am starting to feel uncomfortable. I hate upsetting people. It's not in my nature, but sometimes you have to speak up and be a little blunt, otherwise people just walk all over you.

I was assuming that this weekly need to get the bus immediately after work without being late is due to an urgent reason ... as in, you would be unable to make it home at a reasonable hour if you miss the bus, such that the situation would be unsafe.

If it's for a lesser reason, a compromise might indeed be in order, with you helping to make it a friendly compromise.

Yes, I'm all in favor of standing up and speaking up for yourself ...
and that said, ... there's much wisdom in
choosing your battles to focus on
what's most important.

Do I have to go into detail about everything in my personal life here? Only 1 day a week I have to catch the bus after work, and it's for a necessary matter. The buses aren't every 10 minutes you know, and I've got to get 3 buses that have to coincide with one another, and this particular day is the only suitable day available for the event so it had to be this way. God!

I forgot to mention, that I do start my shift earlier on this particular day to make up any lost minutes and to give extra time.

I suppose it's OK for the boy who keeps expecting people to do one of his shifts so he can go clubbing, but when it comes to an important matter for me, it's "rude" and "inappropriate".

Whatever.

I'm so used to being tactful towards everybody, and this one time I kind of spoke my mind I went a bit wrong but I didn't mean to offend my coworker. I'm just trying to put things right, but Sweetleaf has made me feel really bad.

Maybe I am a horrible person, much to my coworker's knowledge. I could cancel the session I need to attend on this 1 day after work if it's causing that much grief. I am looking for a job in the area where I don't need to get 3 buses to (my boyfriend lives there so I will move in) but due to my lack of every human skill I need in a job, that can't happen.

I am having palpitations now, from guilt and anxiety.

I know my first year of college there were a couple girls in the dorm room across from mine, who seemed to want to befriend me...we hung out a couple times and drank some beers. But then one night then had more hard alcohol and I ended up having too much and throwing up and needed help back to my room. They had been encouraging me to drink and all that but after that night they'd be surface friendly but never invited me to hang out again, and whenever there was something like a movie or guitar hero in the main living area it was awkward after that because they kind of excluded me but would be socializing with everyone else.

It felt like crap, I mean sure I am sure they had their reasons as to why that had 'ruined' our potential friendship. But yeah it was terrible and made me feel really bad so I can see where you're coming from, not trying to be judgmental or anything so I apologize if I have come off that way.

My coworker does know the reason why I have to leave a couple minutes early. None of the other staff have a problem with it, so that's why I don't see why she does. Even the boss doesn't mind that I need to be somewhere on one particular afternoon and so need to allow time to get to the bus stop. If I only had to get 1 bus, I would get a later one, but because I've got to get 3, it leaves me no choice but to get the bus that happens to arrive a few short minutes after my shift ends, so it's a bit of a rush for me.

But I think my coworker had got offended when I asked her what days she will and won't be working, because it sounded like I was implying that I didn't want her to be there on the same day I have to get the bus. But I didn't mean anything against her personally, but I think she took it personally. Now each time I mention buses she gets all angry.

Because of my ADHD I lack organisation skills, and you need to be organised when getting buses, so I tend to get anxious and I just feel I need to make sure I'm on time.

Sorry I didn't mean to be highly strung about your post Sweetleaf, I just worried in case all these weeks I've been getting the bus after work was wrong of me. I do start my shift earlier on the day I need to get the bus, just to prove that I am not taking the mick. Also I only have to do this on one of my work days, which is a weekday, so if I was making excuses to try and rush out of work early I would be doing it every day, wouldn't I? So it is genuine, and my coworker knows that, but she still seems a bit funny with me.

Take it easy, she will probably get over it in time. Don't antagonise her further by bringing it up more.

Based on my perception, she sounds controlling and when you told her that you had to be on time for the bus, maybe she felt insulted. A lot of times, people who are controlling like that will get insulted when you let them know the reality of a situation.

This coworker has taken her job too seriously and is obsessed with the place, even though she isn't the boss. I think she loves being authoritive, and gets a bit carried away and now telling us off all the time has become a habit with her.

Although she used to be a friend, she just picks on me now. She knows I have anxiety and panic issues and find some tasks daunting, and when I try to explain how I feel, she doesn't want to listen, instead she flies up in a rage saying that I'm arguing with her, when I'm clearly not at all.
I'm not trying to be excused off of certain tasks, but if she makes me do a certain extra task that will make me delayed with the rest of my tasks for the day, she will still yell at me if my other tasks aren't done properly, even though she was the one who made me do the extra time-consuming task in the first place. She seems to think I am some kind of ninja who can do 2 or 3 different things at the same time, when it is physically impossible for anyone to do. But when I try to explain the possible outcome, she gets mad.

So I can't win. She bosses everyone about but I feel like she picks on me the most. She lumbers me with tasks I don't like, even though these are tasks that most other workers like doing or have less tasks to do than me. And she still expects me to get every single thing done, and threatens to force me to stay long after my shift if everything's not done, even though I have worked hard and have good intentions to get everything done.

But the place where I work, a care home, is harder than you think. Anything can happen at any given time, elderly people with dementia are sometimes like wild animals, and you have to be prompt to clean up any...mess they could create. So if you're under pressure to get A, B and C done by the end of the day, and then old Uncle Fred from down the hallway opens up his bowels all over the carpet, it needs to be cleaned up immediately, understandably, so if task C isn't as important as task A, B and the unexpected mess, and can be done the next day and you decide to give it a miss, you will be yelled at and probably be made to stay after your shift to do it. I just find that stressful.

Is she your supervisor or is she just really bossy? If not yikes! I would ask her straight up if she has been promoted to lead position and whether her name is on your checks. If she says, "No," I would contact your real supervisor and mention that she's been trying run things that are not under her domain.