I need to vent

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A note on art school:

It depends a lot on which art school. If you're in the US, there are a lot of art schools that bascially charge you a lot of money for learning art at a very low level. But in the half decent to good ones you'll learn a method of working on creative projects. I don't know how badly you struggle with executive functioning issues, but this is one of the major hurdles with creative work. Doing anything creatively means constantly having to redefine your project; you never quite know where the rabbit hole is going to take you. This can be hard if you need to know what your schedule is gong to be like. Also, as you mentioned, group work can be a challenge. What easily happens is that you end up underperforming because you are spending all your juice on the social stuff.

I'd say the weirder the art school, the more likely it will be that you can work on individual projects and have more one-on-one tuition, which helps a lot. Being autistic, you'll need to find a niche that works for you, maybe not at the center of a project, but on the fringes, where the specialists are.

Here's an artist, Sissel Tolaas, who started in art school and then went on to completely redefine her career. I can't go around handing out a diagnosis, but 'neurotypical' is not the word that spring to mind when I hear her talk at length. You perhaps can't see it in this particular video, but I've seen her on another show, and she's really got some eye contact issues.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ByOLyDJW_Y

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/08/27/style ... ells_.html

She is actually earning good money working with car manufacturers and cosmetics companies, and working on major art exhibitions as well.

go get diagnosed for depression. talk to a psychiatrist about meds.

see a medical doctor about the back aches.

do more research about the jobs you want. talk to someone with those jobs.

you might feel like an idiot, but that does not make you an idiot. take an IQ test. you can administer it yourself. barnes and noble sells them for a couple dollars. to get the diagnosis for Aspergers, i had to take an IQ test. however, that was 13 years ago and 500 miles away. that might not be the protocol or the law.

whether or not art school is worth it depends on the specifics. which art school? which student?

do not tell a mandated reporter about your "suicidal thoughts". they will send you to 5150.

everyone is in a different situation. so it don't make no sense to compare yourself to others. when i was young, my precious lil "parents" used to tell me someone else's chinese daughter did something great and why was i not like that. that was the chinese method of motivation. that was all they knew how to do. but not only did it not work, but it was counterproductive. they only compared me to someone that was academically smarter than me. they did not compare me to someone that was physically stronger or more socially adept than me. they wanted me academically smarter. and they did not accept me the way i was. and of course that was before i got diagnosed.

yeah i compare myself to others a lot too. jealousy. resentment. hatred.

all within proportion though.

The world as a whole has become too convenient... but us Aspies always know down some dark alley somewhere in the worst part of town is the best food at the cheapest prices etc... LOL It's all a game of hide-and-seek for us LOL

"parents" used to tell me someone else's chinese daughter did something great and why was i not like that. that was the chinese method of motivation. that was all they knew how to do. but not only did it not work, but it was counterproductive. they only compared me to someone that was academically smarter than me. they did not compare me to someone that was physically stronger or more socially adept than me. they wanted me academically smarter. and they did not accept me the way i was.
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This exactly. I hate being compared to others.

You know, when parents do that, it's always good to turn around and compare them with other parents. See how they like it
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yes, i did that a couple times. compared them to someone whose chinese parents were civil engineers. compared them to academically smarter parents. compared them to parents that were more doctor spocklike with their children.

and then they correctly answered that they were in a different situation from those parents.

but of course, everyone is in a different situation. and every situation is different.

but whatever. my precious lil "mom" died 2 years ago. 2 years ago my precious lil "dad" got diagnosed with colon cancer. stage 4. out of 4. 4 the highest. he is now 68 years old. some articles claim that only 7 percent of colon cancer patients diagnosed as stage four live 5 years after the diagnosis.

so, whatever.

granted, my precious lil "parents" did and said plenty of things that i thought were factually inaccurate, immoral, disrespectful, unjustified, judgmental, et cetera.

but they did not do anything illegal.

besides, of course, "failure to attend to a special education need." (autism).

but, even that is splitting fine hairs.
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sure, there are plenty of parents that i thought i would've wanted instead of my own. but, of course, there was nobody that i knew as well as i knew my parents.

sometimes, appearances are deceiving.

my precious lil "parents" might have had good qualities, that i did not recognize, b/c i failed to pay attention.

the parents that i wanted might have had bad qualities, that i did not know about, b/c i did not interact with them that much.

not a representative sample.

but whatever. nobody lives a perfect life. no situation is perfect.

nobody has a perfect childhood.

and what if someone had a perfect childhood, then what? life goes on.

and if someone has a flawed childhood? "life goes on."



in their defense, it is chinese parenting to compare your children unfavorably to someone else's academically smarter children. my precious lil "parents" might have thought that they were motivating me. they were operating under a different child rearing paradigm.

big deal.

doctor spock's paradigm is not absolutely superior than my precious lil "parents' " paradigm.

but instead, what they ended up doing, was communicating to me, that unless i was like some already unattainable standard, they would not accept or love my worthless corpse.

so what ended up happening, was that i figured, that nothing i do is good enough anyways, so why bother trying.

by not trying, i saved energy.

which of course is also bad

but there is something wrong with everything.

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besides, plenty of parents are worse than mine. as they correctly pointed out.

my sister's friend's mom made my sister's friend and my sister's friend's brother work a paying job when they were 12 years old. they had to pay their mom 100 rent. that was 22 years ago. inflation. at that time, minimum wage was about 5 dollars an hour. there are strict laws about what hours and how many hours 12 year olds can work. and there are strict laws about what kind of jobs they can do. with the exception of actors and models, there are not many jobs that 12 year olds work at, that pay above minimum wage. and, of course, those 12 year olds had to compete with adults for their jobs.

when my sister's friend's brother was 12, his mom told him he "stole" orange juice from the refridgerator and "lied" about it. his punishment was getting grounded to his tiny lil closet of a bedroom for 6 weeks. could only come out for chores and school.

that sounded like a nightmare. his parents earned more money than mine.

2 years ago, when he was 33, he died. he joined the Air Force for 6 years. then he got a bachelors and masters in electrical engineering. and he got that job too.

his parents did not pay for college. not even community college. while mine paid for my whole undergrad career. even though he was academically smarter than me.

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so, hey. "life" ain't fair. "life" sure was not fair to the dead 33 year old.

I think I need to vent as well.

Sorry for copying out your whole post, but I wanted to make it clear who I'm replying to.

I'm really really sorry to hear about your parents. You must miss your mum a lot. *hug*

I know what you mean by wanting to preserve energy because nothing you do ever feels good enough. My dad always made me feel that way. If I got 99% on a Maths test, there was no congratulations, only an accusing "What happened to the other 1%?" It took me many years to realise that this wasn't my dad deliberately withholding affection, but rather, the result of his mentality clashing with my own.

I was raised in a society that values its children. My father was raised in a society where children were kind of like punching bags for the parents' issues. My old man copped it from his old man, and the sane thing to do seemed to be to pass it onto the next generation.

So, long story short, my dad thought the best way to motivate me to do better was to be tough with me.

Did I appreciate this?

Hell, no! I turned around and acted like a total and complete smartass to him. I gave him back the same treatment he gave me, so I could see if it would motivate him to do better. It didn't.

The conclusion I came to was that everything my dad dished out to me - except those rare, precious moments of kindness and nurturing, like when I was sick, for example - was purely accidental; a playing-over of the record that was stuck inside his own subconscious mind, handed down from his own faulty father.

You have to realise one thing: Flesh gives birth to flesh. Therefore, it seeks to preserve flesh. But spirit gives birth to spirit, and seeks to preserve spirit.

Unless one's parents are spiritually enlightened, they will only concern themselves with whether your body is well taken care of. Your soul, the part of you that wakes up every morning and wants to do something for you, is not their concern, but God's and yours.

As you go through life and try to find your place in this world, you will realise that
nothing is more real or more important than what gets you out of bed every morning. You alone have to face the day that has been made for you. You can't do this by living out someone else's dream. You may be content living this way for a while, but eventually, you will come to resent it. And that resentment often takes the form of piling guilt and criticism onto your own children or nieces/nephews/the next generation.

I know too many people, mostly older, who never did what was in their hearts and now travel through life like black holes, literally sucking good emotions out of their environments and making everyone around them feel like crap. Their days are marked with bitterness, envy, apathy, stupidity and anger, and they never seem to have anything good to say unless it's to puff themselves up with pride. They are empty vessels, devoid of meaningfulness, and always negative.

If you have people like this around you, they can infect you with their mentality and turn you, too, into a black hole. Get as far away from them as possible, even if it means you have to suffer for a while until you find your feet. At least when you do, you'll know it is YOUR life you are living and YOU are the one responsible for what you have become.

There is no better feeling, and no better way to live life, as I've found.

I know it probably won't help, but I wish your dad well with his treatment. My dad had cancer and has not been well lately (not young either). I know it's hard.

Always here if you need support. *hug*

(Argh - do you know the smiley code for a hug? Can't find it on this board)
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quite frankly, i do not miss my precious lil "mom" much. in her defense, she did not do anything illegal. with the exception of "failure to attend to special education need." and she worked hard. workaholic. my precious lil "parents" moved to the united states when they were 35. older than i am now. and she had to start all over. she got a GED, then AA, then BA, then teaching credential. cbest and cset. all that time, she was not unemployed. she provided room and board every day. when she was 50 she got a BA.

having said that, she did say a lot of things that i felt were unjustified. like she asked why i did anything, just b/c she did not like it. for example, when i was 20, i cut my hair from shoulder length to a buzz cut. of course, she, like other idiots, thought i was gay. (that was in 2003. equal employment opportunity commission did not include "gender identity" til 2012. thank you very much, president obama.) and then she went around making up petty little rules, and they were difficult to all keep track of. for instance, she had the nerve to tell me off. that i could only turn on one light at a time. so in the morning, when i am going between the bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen, then that is way too much to remember. likewise, when junior high school reptiles physically assaulted me, she blamed me. instead of saying "excuse me", she said "huh" and "what". she was judgmental and condescending.

if she were to have acted more like the way i wanted, maybe i would've had a harder time coping with her death. ("every grey cloud has a silver lining.")

a high school math teacher used to draw smiley faces on tests that got 90 percent or higher. one student said that the teacher drew a smiley face on her paper, even though she only got 85. b/c the teacher might not have thought she was going to do any better. did not have the potential. vice versa. likewise. maybe your dad thought you had the potential to get 100 instead of just 99. of course, i ain't telepathic. i do not know what someone else is thinking.

my precious lil "parents" were not "kind and nurturing" when i was sick either. they overreacted. almost every time, they told me that i would get pneumonia. thus far, that i know of, i have yet to get pneumonia. besides, what if i did get pneumonia, then what? seriously? chinese parents act so melodramatic or something.

anyways, there are many reasons why someone could not succeed at their vocational dream. some of those reasons are beyond their control. academic intelligence, finances, social reasons (autism), medical reasons. the list goes on. especially for those with particularly difficult dreams (medical doctor, lawyer, professional football player), someone might fail at attaining it, for a lot of reasons. but that does not necessarily follow that they have to be bitter the rest of their lives. they could still derive happiness, or at least satisfaction, from social interactions (autism makes it worse, i know), romantic interactions (likewise), hobbies, religion, and deities know what else. likewise, some of the medical doctors that i have interacted with acted a bit bitter, like they had a lot of pent up negative emotions to constantly release.

anger management lessons could benefit someone like that. regardless of how vocationally successful, academically smart, or financially productive. they were.

furthermore, the solar system contains a lot of jobs that need to be done. some of those jobs do not pay a lot. (pizza hut). some of those jobs are physically dangerous. (infantry). some of those jobs are emotionally disturbing (customer service). some of those jobs are athletically difficult (construction work). some of those jobs have to stand outside in the rain and snow. mailmen.

there are plenty of jobs that not many people want. but someone has to do them. and some people working those jobs seem to make the most of the situation. granted, i can't read their mind. but it's hard to fancy, that someone might want to be a prison guard.

for the past several years. at least four years, i have not voluntarily interacted with anyone, unless it was some functional reason.

there were a lot of instances where i did something and got a response much more unfavorable than the one i predicted. and that response was much more unfavorable than the one someone else that did the same action, received.

upon closer inspection, i suspect that. that's b/c the respondent identified with the other person. the respondent did not identify with me.

for instance, the idiot supervisor had the nerve to fire me from the most recent job. "you are dealing with people's money. you can't make mistakes." then she told me that the women (or woman) told her i was learning too slowly.

but she did not tell me how quickly or accurately to work. nor did she measure the pace or accuracy of my work, quantitatively.

making mistakes is part of the learning process.

besides, in every job, in some sense, you are dealing with people's money. in that the employee gets paid money.

but of course, i was working in accounting.

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yeah. a flight attendant struck me in the head with a tray. on purpose. then he told me "that was a joke". but if i were to have done likewise to him, i could only imagine the TSA's overboard response.

the community college's admissions and records woman. she denied my petition for graduation. and then an academic counselor told me that was a mistake. and then the counselor told me that i had to make an appointment to petition for graduation again. and i did. and i had to petition for graduation as of the following semester. when i told the woman that, she yelled at me. she yelled so loudly, i was surprised the security guards, who were only about 50 feet away, did not come running.

and then, in some fields, what is defined as a "mistake" is subjective.

in STEM subjects, professionals have to do a controlled experiment, publish in PubMed database, and get peer reviewed.

in psychology, clinical psychologists choose the most favorable statement, and hold it up as the absolute truth. if the client (me) has the nerve to argue, the psychologist tells the client that the client is "being defensive".

the psychologist told me that the reason why the idiot boss fired me was b/c they did not like the way i look. in that i did not iron my pants or comb my hair, when i was at the psychologist's office. but i do not work at the psychologist's office. and the psychologist could not read the boss's mind. the psychologist did not like the way i looked. big deal. whooptie do. what if he liked the way i look? what if he did not like the way i look? what is so great or bad about that? at most, i only hurt his eyeballs one hour, once a week or so. and he got paid enough to put up with it.

was it a "mistake" for him to tell me off like that? of course not. b/c psychology sessions are confidential, with the mandated reporter exception. and nobody found out what he had the nerve to tell me. especially not his peers or his supervisor.

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and that, of course, has a lot of pros and cons.

and besides, sometimes my brain feels so slow, weak, tired, clumsy, and academically stupid, that i do not want to do much of anything. not even talking. everything seems like it takes way too much energy.

the smiley icons were copy and pasted from LiveJournal. wrong planet's apparrently does not have one.

I think it's just a matter of the world will always prefer us to conform, rather than stand out.

At the end of the day, you just have to put the world's expectations aside and be yourself, and let the chips fall where they may.

You sound like a very intelligent person, and it sounds like your mother loved you very much. Like my mother, she sounded like a very responsible and economical person; I've often been taught about switching lights off, etc.

It can rub people up the wrong way when we do things they don't expect, e.g. the buzz cut. They want to be able to pin us down, as though if we change, that disturbs them. But you weren't put on this earth to keep people comfortable. You were put on this earth to discover who you are and who you want to become.

I am sure there are people out there, including a handful of very, very special ones, who will understand you and appreciate your unique attributes, character and traits. These people will bring joy into your life and make you feel good about your decisions. You will find them some day and it will make all the previous lonely years of your life worthwhile. Because now, you're working on yourself, figuring out who you are, so that when the day comes when you find your 'group', you'll be able to stand tall among them knowing who you are, as one of them.

And don't worry about that dumbass psychologist. Find another one who isn't so shallow. (I bet if your hands were covered in tattoos, you wouldn't have gotten any comment at all. Sad how things today work).

I'm 20 as well. But I can relate to some of the stuff you posted here.

I think it's just a matter of the world will always prefer us to conform, rather than stand out.

At the end of the day, you just have to put the world's expectations aside and be yourself, and let the chips fall where they may.

You sound like a very intelligent person, and it sounds like your mother loved you very much. Like my mother, she sounded like a very responsible and economical person; I've often been taught about switching lights off, etc.

It can rub people up the wrong way when we do things they don't expect, e.g. the buzz cut. They want to be able to pin us down, as though if we change, that disturbs them. But you weren't put on this earth to keep people comfortable. You were put on this earth to discover who you are and who you want to become.

I am sure there are people out there, including a handful of very, very special ones, who will understand you and appreciate your unique attributes, character and traits. These people will bring joy into your life and make you feel good about your decisions. You will find them some day and it will make all the previous lonely years of your life worthwhile. Because now, you're working on yourself, figuring out who you are, so that when the day comes when you find your 'group', you'll be able to stand tall among them knowing who you are, as one of them.

And don't worry about that dumbass psychologist. Find another one who isn't so shallow. (I bet if your hands were covered in tattoos, you wouldn't have gotten any comment at all. Sad how things today work).
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yes, precious little "most people" would rather have you conform. and they are vocal about their preference. and express their preference loudly and in a wide variety of methods. some of those methods are legal. other methods are illegal. oftentimes they confuse their opinions for facts. and then one precious lil "person" calls himself/herself "we", "people" or "most people".

the advice to "be yourself" sounds a bit too idealistic.

in san diego 2003, when i asked the barber to do a buzz cut, she asked "why?" and "one inch long, or one inch off?". and more than one barber totally freaked out. when i went in the womens bathroom, more often than not, someone told me (often angrily) that i was in the wrong bathroom. someone told me "i can't tell if you're a boy or a girl" and physically assaulted me. with the exception of the dean of the college, the nutritionist, and one republican, almost everyone that i interacted with did not know about correct pronouns. even when i tried to explain it to some precious little "people" that were academically smart and looked nice, they did not believe me or did not care.

being too idealistic is one of many things i totally hate about myself.

you have to balance being practical with being realistic.

what if a homophobic idiot were to have raped me, then what? would i then have been glad that i was being myself?

seriously there is something profoundly wrong with everything, i know.

everyone is "intelligent". the way i sound in the post is not necessarily a representative sample of how i sound the rest of my worthless "life". the way i sound, to you, is not necessarily the way i sound, to everyone, or even anyone, else.

the licensed clinical social worker, thus far, has been too good to be true. she is amazing. i keep getting paranoid that the other shoe might drop or something. nobody is perfect, and there is something wrong with everything. had her for 6 months so far. one time per week. and then the next 6 months, it's once every other week. after that, the insurance does not pay for any more counseling.

but whatever. that's the thing. maybe the is so awesome and great, that i got codependent on her. and then i can't function without her.

there might indeed be several people that understand me. however, they might live outside of public transportation distance. besides, it takes so much rejection to go through everyone else. quite frankly, i doubt it's worth the effort.

cost benefit analysis.

and besides, what if they did understand me, then what? whooptie do.

while when someone misunderstands me, then that could cause all sorts of problems. such as getting wrongfully accused of stealing. and that's just one example. there are an infinite. unlimited. unltd. number of problems. and methods for them to express that they do not understand me. and they do not know that they misunderstood me.

I fit what you're saying so well. Although I'm not currently job hunting or degree hunting or any of that, it's coming up for me soon.

I want a girl friend. I'll just say it out right. I don't even know if I'm gay or not because I can't tell what my "orientation" is. I don't even know what they mean by orientation. Am I east or west? I have no idea.

But anyways...I'm told I'm attractive by a lot of people. Yea, it sounds bad I know. But a lot of other people tell me I have a brown people, Muslim, Arab, or other appearance. The worst part is my skin tone is very white pale so people who actually DO have darker skin reject me. I'm from the Caucasus/Caspian area...so, basically we're (Very) White skinned Levantines. The reason I'm saying this is because it contributes to people hating me. Anyone who thinks I'm attractive does it because I look like an exotic "foreigner". I also get a lot of racial crap from "friends".

I have trouble holding things down. I have hobbies that I love, like geography or physics, but then there's things I hate and I'm forced to do them, like Mathematics and some kinds of writing. The school system is s**t and I'm forced to be part of it. When I tell the administrators I don't like their system they threaten to put me in harder classes. I tell them I'm going to leave the school and the cops get called. Tyranny!

It's horrible. It's not US, it's the society to be perfectly honest. We are fine people with hobbies and values and calm minds, but we're destroyed by a sociopathic narcissistic society full of soul vampires who suck us for our substance then move on with a grin. It's disgusting.

I'm going to need a bit more information in order to understand your post. For example, why were you in the women's bathroom?
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i am a female to male transsexual. when i was born i was female. it is legal for me to use the mens or womens bathroom. some states, such as North Carolina, have had "bathroom bills" that are anti trans. those bills make it illegal to use the bathroom that does not match your birth certificate. thus far, the state that i live in does not have any of those anti trans "bathroom bills". the area i live has plenty of flamboyant LGBT people.

when i first started crossdressing (especially with a buzz cut), i wrongfully assumed that i had to use the womens bathroom. b/c i thought it was illegal to use the wrong bathroom. so when i went to the womens bathroom, more often than not, precious lil "people" had the nerve to tell me i was in the wrong bathroom. San Diego is so homophobic. they thought i was a cisgender male.

so after that, sometimes use the men's bathroom. almost never has anyone had the nerve to say anything when i used the mens bathroom.

having said that, for over 3 years, i have been constipated.

chronically and profoundly.

every day, bowel movement 2-3 times each. usually takes one to 2 hours each time.

many public bathrooms only have one toilet in the mens bathroom. and plenty of precious little "people" bang impatiently on the door. and that is legal.

the womens bathroom often contains more toilets than the mens bathroom. so when i have to take a long time to make a bowel movement (which is pretty much every time), then sometimes i use the womens bathroom.

so of course i get uptight. like someone is going to rape me when i go to the mens bathroom.

and i got my drivers license legally changed from "f" to "m". the DMV has a form that medical doctors sign. the change is official and legal. contrary to what numerous homophobic idiots have had the nerve to tell me, it is not "lying" for me to ask someone to call me "he" instead of "she". it is not telling the truth either. it is called "misgendering". Gender Identity Disorder is a psychiatric diagnosis. just like autism. Gender Identity Disorder is not "the truth". Gender Identity Disorder is also not "lying".

lately, in the news, there are plenty of articles about transsexuals. caitlyn jenner, chelsea manning, mack beggs, and et cetera.

surely i did not explain it optimally. but if you want a more authoritative, official, better explanation, look up "Gender Identity Disorder".

but what difference does it make if i explain it correctly? who would believe me anyways? when i first came out as trans, outside the LGBT community, the college dean, and one republican, almost nobody believed me. but if they were to have believed me and cared, then what? the precious lil "people" that i interacted with, did not have political power anyways. other than voting and political protests, they could not control anything politically.

that always makes me paranoid.

when i was 2004, got diagnosed Gender Identity Disorder. i was 21. then in 2012, Equal Employment Opportunity Commission added "gender identity" to the list of protected statuses. thus, i was 29 years old at that time. so, from age 0 to age 29, it was legal for precious lil "people" to call me the wrong pronoun. not just technically legal. but up until around that time, 2012, precious lil "most people" had no clue what the protocol was for referring to transsexuals.

b/c then, i get uptight: what do precious lil "people" reject about my worthless corpse today, that there will be laws about, mandating the passive aggressive tolerance of, 10 years later?

of course, i do not know the answer to the question (marked in italics), one paragraph above. and if i did know, then what? nobody would believe me. if they did believe me, then what? nobody would care. if they cared and believed me, then what? they have no political power anyways. besides voting.

quite frankly, almost everyone i have ever interacted with acts like he/she is totally: morally innocent, academically smart, wise, awesome, socially cool, absolutely important.

in 2004, went to Gender Therapy. it had to be with a clinical psychologist, with a specialization in gender. not just any clinical psychologist. that was to satisfy the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care. according to Harry Benjamin, that counselor could not be a counselor from the medical insurance i had at the time, Kaiser. nor could that counselor have been from the homophobic, materialistic, superficial, republican "school" i was going to at that time. UC San Diego.

and i had to wait 6 months on the waiting list. counseling lasted 9 months. counseling cost a sliding scale amount.

while the homophobic morons that harrassed me had plenty of other homophobic big egoed morons to discuss their homophobia with.

seriously it is much more dysfunctional to be trans (and neurotypical), then it is to be autistic (and cisgender). but that is just my opinion. not everyone thinks that. hey, some precious little "people" supported a law in North Carolina, that made it illegal for transsexuals to use the wrong bathroom. some of those precious little "people" had the political power to write laws.

besides, that is just my opinion that there should be no "womens" and "mens" bathrooms. that's just too anxiety provoking. seriously.

besides, "should", "can" and "will" are all different things.

besides, what if it was a law, then what? there is a law that says that dogs have to be on leash, except explicitly stated off leash areas.

but some precious lil "people" truly believe their precious lil dog is so important that the dog does not have to go on leash. those precious lil "people" do not get a punishment.


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Indeed, and sometimes those precious lil doggies are rottweilers, like the one on the news I heard about the other day that almost killed a man because it wasn't leashed or muzzled. Little miss owner bolted after attack and didn't have the decency to render assistance to the bleeding guy.

I understand where you're coming from on the gender thing. There should be transgender bathrooms and little tick boxes on forms for E gender people. I've always thought it unfair that hermaphrodites, for example, are never acknowledged in society.

Perhaps you could get a petition together and go to your local government?

Indeed, and sometimes those precious lil doggies are rottweilers, like the one on the news I heard about the other day that almost killed a man because it wasn't leashed or muzzled. Little miss owner bolted after attack and didn't have the decency to render assistance to the bleeding guy.

I understand where you're coming from on the gender thing. There should be transgender bathrooms and little tick boxes on forms for E gender people. I've always thought it unfair that hermaphrodites, for example, are never acknowledged in society.

Perhaps you could get a petition together and go to your local government?
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where i live there are plenty of gender nonconforming people. and some of them have more $$ than me. and some of them are more socially adept and self righteous than me.

if someone was going to start a petition, it would not, then be me.

besides, where i live there are plenty of gender neutral bathrooms. and not many homophobes. thank deities.

and besides, over 10 years ago, at UCSD, according to the Dean of Warren, i became the first transsexual in the wrong lockerroom.

as a result, i feel like i already did my part.

and at that time, i tried to look up what if it was legal to go to the wrong lockerroom. could not find anything. and i asked the LGBT center at school. assistant director told me that she did not know if it was "technically legal". okay, wtf?

in other words, when i went to see the Dean of Warren, what if the school were to have pressed criminal charges against me? then i would've needed a lawyer. lawyers cost 500 dollars per billable hour. about. some lawsuits take 2 years.

anyways i did not have to go to court or hire a lawyer. good.

and the whole ordeal took 4 weeks.

and i gained 15 pounds. anxiety. binge eating.

seriously i would rather just have someone else do it

where i live there are plenty of crossdressers. women with buzz cuts. women wearing mens clothes. men wearing womens clothes.

it just can't be my responsibility to incite political action.

nobody cares about me anyways