Trying for a diagnosis

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I'm trying to get a diagnosis. I had an unfortunate inpatient experience in hospital and decided the time had come to get a formal diagnosis. My Mother had a formal diagnosis of Aspergers. My Uncle and my son are both diagnosed with High Functioning Autism. I know these classification no longer exist. It's just ASD now but I've known for years I'm an Aspie. When my Son was diagnosed I asked the psychologist who did the diagnosis why he had Autism and she looked at me and said "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." I was a bit surprised but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. I have a photographic memory, synesthesia, am ambidextrous and did the final year of school when i was 12. They would not let me go to Uni because they said I was too young. My Uncle went at 15 and I still don't see how 2 years makes much of a difference.

Anyway, I went to a psychologist who works at a neuro-developmental clinic. I told her I wanted to be assessed. She said she could do that. She gave me questionnaires to fill in. We talked. I thought it was a bit odd because my Sons' assessment was more involved than that. After 6 sessions I asked about how the assessment was going and had she written a report. She said I certainly was an Aspie. She thanked me for reminding her and said she would do it on the weekend. She didn't. Everytime I asked she had an excuse. At the 12th session I asked her why she hadn't done it. Was there a problem. That's when she informed me that she is not qualified to do assessments or write reports. She is a psychologist but not a clinical psychologist. She works with people with neuro-developmental disorders but really she is only qualified as a counsellor. Basically she racked up 12 billable services under false pretense.

So I found another psychologist. Checked he was suitably qualified. I had 2 sessions with him. He gave me the stupid questionnaires again and asked about my childhood. I had a pretty difficult childhood. My Father is a very abusive person. On the 3rd visit he told me I do not have ASD. I have unresolved childhood trauma. My social isolation all stems from that. My stimming is anxiety are due to trauma etc, etc. Trauma can look like Autism apparently. He said that being married and having children showed I could form relationships so I'm not autistic.

Why is it so hard. Is it because I'm a woman. I hate having to talk to people especially about my childhood. I don't know what to do. These people poke around in peoples heads and open up old wounds. I accept I am a damaged person thanks to my Father but there is more to me than that. After 2 sessions this idiot decided he was an expert on me. I now hate psychologists. They make people so vulnerable and then leave with the money in their pocket.

I'm feeling just a bit lost now. Sorry
Anyone have any advice?

oh wow i am appalled D:

-you can have both autism and unresolved childhood trauma. in fact, it's not uncommon.
-being married/having children is not exclusive to NTs. otherwise how could you have even been born.

women i think tend to have a particularly hard time being diagnosed with autism, especially later in life. maybe your next step would be to find a qualified woman who can assess you?

it's sad, but this is a classic story to hear. a 40yr old aspie woman i know was diagnosed with a personality disorder first and says that women on the spectrum usually were regarded in this way in the past and it's only recently started to get better.

Thank-you. I am just so upset. He made me feel i was pathetically trying to find an excuse for being a screw up. He felt my family history of autism meant nothing and I was too socially aware. He doesn't understand that growing up, being able to recognise nuance and atmosphere was a survival skill. If I got it wrong I got a beating. It was great motivation to learn. Even now if I walk into a room where there is tension my spidey senses start tingling and I have to fight the impulse to run.

As for the other psychologist I am so deeply hurt. I trusted her. I told her thing I have never told anyone else. I was completely open and honest and the whole time she was lying to me.

I had trust issues before all this and all they have done is reaffirm that avoiding people is not only sensible but necessary. I think I will just continue to live in my hermit world.

you are definitely not alone in being more socially aware because it's how you had to survive
i was very noticeably autistic as a kid and diagnosed but still had to figure out social stuff for survival. that psychologist is full of crap.

i wonder if there are women from australia here who could refer you to a professional you can trust?

if you don't want to deal with this anymore thats fine too but it really seems like you want to be properly assessed and diagnosed. maybe it would be good to take a break from trying to be diagnosed for a little while and come back to it later if you're feeling ready.

I have recently read a book by Laura James. Odd girl Out. She is married, has grown up children. Is a successful writer for magazines. She was more recently diagnosed as an aspie. Perhaps more people, including male psychologists, therapists and psychs should read it too.

I'm sorry this happened to you, and it does sound like a common experience. I hope you can persist in seeking a qualified and supportive professional, although I get why you might not. There are yahoos in every profession, and there's a lot of ignorance out there about women on the spectrum. I'm seeking help for my daughter and myself now, and I'm hoping that she'll have an easier time of it with the professionals than so many other girls and women have.

I'm being assessed at the end of June, but I found someone who speacialized in autism in women. Her name is Tania Marshall. It's not cheap but I'd rather go this route rather than risking another bad experience with a mental health professional.

A similar thing happened to me. I have been waiting nearly 3 years, had 3 different autism assessments and finally got to see the right professional who has given me the diagnosis. I too have trauma from childhood abuse and was told the same thing about trauma looking like autistic traights.

Can you ask among other women you know locally with Autism who they got their diagnosis from, and try and get an appointment with them? A recommended professional will probably work better.

I did lodge a complaint with the psychologists association about the first one but nothing has come from it. I didn't expect it would. Professionals tend to stick together

I had an assessment a few days ago with a lovely lady called Danuta Bulhak-Patterson who worked with Tony Attwood. I had been told the earliest appointment was October but they rang and said there was a cancellation so I got in early which was good because it was so sudden I didn't have time to get too worked up and stressed about it. By the end of the first session she said oh yes I definately had all the hallmarks of an aspie. I have more questionnaires to fill out before the next visit but I feel more hopeful. She really was understanding. Even when I became non-verbal and had to write answers for a while she didn't bat an eyelash. She took it all in her stride and told me it was OK, she has other clients who are the same. She also picked I have PTSD and I thought I was hiding it rather well

I had never wanted a diagnosis in the past because I knew already and didn't see the point in having a piece of paper but then I was really unwell and had to go to hospital then a physical rehab centre and I really struggled. I hate being interfered with and having to be social. My Husband tried to explain to the consultant that I was on the spectrum and had several close family members who were too but he wouldn't believe it because I didn't have a piece of paper and he 'couldn't believe in things without evidence' Seriously, all he had to do was read my file. All the evidence was written in there. Lack of eye contact, avoidance of communal areas, not interacting with others, refusal to engage in communal dining, bouncing when agitated, playing a song on repeat on my cd player over and over for hours on end etc. If someone knew anything about autism the notes shout of it. So now I want my identity papers because there are situations where it matters There are still a lot of stupid people in the world.

Well it's now official! I have ASD level 2. It's what I expected as I do have some quite severe issues but it is nice to have it in writing so no-one can ever say it's not true again I also have weekly appointments booked until the end of the year to try and help me get my life back together after the stroke I had that meant I had to go to rehab which is where it all really fell to pieces. I don't play well with others and the experiences I had there were totally overwhelming and I feel completely broken but hopefully I will get it together again. It's just sad that they couldn't get their heads around a woman having Autism. Even when I was so overwhelmed I was banging my head on the wall they still didn't get it. Soo many stupid, uneducated people in the world and in medicine it's really unforgivable but I will keep telling myself that this too shall pass. Probably like kidney stone but it will pass