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Toottoto
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 24 Apr 2017
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 2

24 Apr 2017, 1:21 pm

Similar thing to this has been posted before, but I didn't see anyone mentioning something quite the same as what I'm experiencing (or think that I am).

I live in Finland and the general consensus among the population here is that facial expressions are the devil and socializing is comparable to just harassing another person (mild exaggeration). No problem since I enjoy living my life in solitude with other people as forgettable shapes passing by.
The "issue" is that people are looking at me and smiling. Not a problem in itself, but the way it goes makes it unnerving since I can't really figure out what's going on.

With decent consistency when I pass by people after work (the hours when the gray masses including myself drone back home) I notice people looking at me and looking like they are trying to contain laughter which then quickly turns into a semi twisted smile (due to tensing of muscles/trying to stop it) followed by a fairly rapid evasion of eye contact and I can still see the contained smile/laughter as they pass me by fully (I have great peripheral vision).
If it was just randomly every few weeks or so, I could just ignore it as pure coincidence (which I have been doing for years), but at worst it happens multiple times a day. Even more messed up, this also happens on the bus which should be a moving graveyard of drained human husks. Even more messed up, it's both males and females. Even more messed up, it's even people 10, 20 and more years older than me!

The only logical conclusion would be that I HAVE to look funny or unusual enough to provoke smiles/laughter, but surely someone would have said something or actually derided me for looking like a god damn nimrod of the highest caliber. The alternative would be that I look like an angel so dazzling and radiant that people just get confused, but for some bizarre reason I feel like that's definitely not the case.

Anywho, I've had multiple girlfriends (whom were attracted to me enough to engage in activities), my coworkers haven't commented on anything except my quirky personality (which is hidden to strangers since I wear plain af clothes) and my close family hasn't said anything either (although they probably wouldn't say anything even if I had toes instead of teeth. My family is extra lovely).

SO what I'm wondering is has anyone actually experienced this same thing (potentially anxiety-like paranoia) that turned out to be related to something real (it has to be given how the same pattern of reactions keeps popping out) and what was that or those things? Also tips and tricks on how to unattentionify myself are more than welcome.

Btw, why it's bothering me so much is because if there is something so extremely odd in my appearances, it might affect my future prospects at work.



Toottoto
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 24 Apr 2017
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 2

02 May 2017, 10:40 am

So, I got hella pissed off about this happening yesterday and the pressure got to me.
I asked one of the people why they were smirking at me and I found out my beard and mustache combo "looked so stupid on someone as handsome as you".
I.e. not shaving and having semi-patchy facial hair was enough to elicit strong reactions. Later asked from my family as well and they too realized it looked pretty damn stupid. They just had gotten used to it and couldn't connect the dots.

tl;dr, If people are looking and smiling at you ask "what's up" because apparently there's a decent chance you actually look goofy af and it's NOT in your head.



underwater
Veteran
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Joined: 10 Sep 2015
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,904
Location: Hibernating

02 May 2017, 2:26 pm

I live not so far from you, and I understand exactly what you mean about learning to read facial expressions in Finland. Where I live, people have exactly the same attitude to socialising and expressing themselves, and if you don't learn at least a bit of body language you are dead meat.

Sometimes people really are laughing, but I find that I sometimes misinterpret facial expressions. I have a great husband who explains things to me, as he is a lot more socially atstute. Sometimes I see things he doesn't, but a lot of the time, he manages to explain a social situation to me, and his explanation makes a lot more sense than what I was thinking.


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