Being "too nice"

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When I find myself in need of help it seems nobody wants to help me and I'm figuring out why... Because there are too many people that take advantage of your niceness when you do help...

Like the alcoholic that asks you for everything and you nicely do anything for him but when your husbands glucose gets low and you dont have money on you and they wont buy him anything sweet while in town claiming they dont have money but they buy a bunch of alcohol... *rant*

Do I stop being nice? Even to my own husband sometimes???

You dont have to be a total b***h. Maybe just a little more assertive. You just have to know when to draw the line when to put your foot down so you dont get taken advantage of.

no, always be nice. just take notice of those who don't return the favor.

generosity/giving help to those in need is a good trait. don't lose that in your pursuit of not being taken advantage of.

but in my own experience aiding alcoholics, they are not to be trusted to reciprocate. it's not necessarily that alcoholics are bad people, but that their addictions are stronger than they are. at this level, it is important to not expect anything in return, or even, expect to be used. it's a sad truth of life.

just be careful, i guess, is the best advice.
and keep being a nice person as well as you can.

^ That's often true in my experience, but not of all alcoholics. Many of them are just having too hard a time with themselves to factor in anyone else.
I agree with assertiveness, not a lack of being "nice." Being helpful and kind is as good for you as anyone else, but you do have to have some boundaries to prevent being taken advantage of. Assertiveness can be done "nicely." Don't let them jade you too bad.

I've had similar thoughts before. But I think it's worth getting taken advantage of a few times if that's what it takes to find someone who won't take you for a ride, and might even help you even if you can't call in an owed favour.

Drop the ones that take advantage and let them lose out in the long term for taking and not giving back in the short term. Keep your eyes open for other people who help people. Even if they're not people you can befriend, you can at least see that there are others who do.

And, while you're helping someone, someone else might be looking at you and thinking how nice what you're doing is.