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Scheimaa
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25 Apr 2017, 9:24 pm

i know that there a lot here who don't have friends at all, but i want to see if some one can relate to this.

i think that i have a lot of friends, more than i can handle keeping in contact with, and they are friends i made through my life since i was a kid, and still in contact with usually i call them maybe once in 3 months if not longer, i thought that it's okay the way it's, let me think .. they are probably 3 friends, there's more but not so close maybe i contact them once a year or tow years.
and i also have a best friend, she came to my house a few days ago and was really angry because i didn't contact her for 10 days and she was always the one who sent me massages before these 10 days, i just felt funny seeing her angry about that and laughed at the time.

but then when i think about it, i feel like things are out of control, like time is flying and i just forget to talk to my friends, and then one day when i want to talk to them it would be too late, as if they are going to slip like water Through my fingers, and i start to panic.

i am planning to do something to avoid this if possible, like a list so that i can remember them easily, cause i forget about them for a long time then they suddenly popup in my mind.

can anyone relate to this ?



Last edited by Scheimaa on 25 Apr 2017, 9:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

the_phoenix
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25 Apr 2017, 9:32 pm

Anything worth having,
you have to work for.
Friendship takes work.
If you don't keep in contact,
you will lose your friends.
It's not fair if they always have to reach out to you first to initiate contact ...
sometimes you should take the initiative and reach out to them first.

And that said,
I need to call a friend tomorrow.
I wanted to call tonight, but
was tired when I got home from work
and now it's too late.

So thank you for the reminder.

And I hope you will call your friends, too. :)



TheWalrys435
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01 May 2017, 12:13 am

That's an interesting one because most aspies seem to have the opposite problem. The best way for me to keep friends is to remember that I am an aspie and that I am different from them. I will misinterpret them if I think I'm getting close with them and it will most likely end badly with awkward silence.



whatamievendoing
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01 May 2017, 5:51 am

I'm in somewhat of a similar situation at the moment. Thing is I'm planning on leaving university and going to study music - in fact, I had one entrance exam last week, with two more coming up in the next two days. I've made a bunch of friends in the past two years that I've studied at the university. And I love all of them.

The problem lies in the fact that I'm not in contact with most of them outside of social gatherings. Granted, I'm friends with most of them on Facebook, but even then, I only chat with them so often (as in not often at all). In fact, there's only one dude I regularly talk with on Facebook, and another one with whom I keep contact through WhatsApp.

I'm not so much worried about losing them as friends, but I am worried that they'll forget me, that is if it should happen that I get into one of the music schools and have to move God knows how many miles away from them. But then, that's the exact reason I've been thinking about trying to travel to see them on a regular basis - once a month, for instance. It might end up becoming pretty expensive in the long run, though, but it's a small price to pay for keeping up some sort of connection at the very least.


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Richardf269
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Joined: 16 Dec 2012
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Location: Isla Vista, California

07 May 2017, 7:40 pm

I have the same problem you do. Some friends I talk to all the time, other ones I haven't talked to in years or months. It sucks not having as many friends as you used to.

Scheimaa wrote:
i know that there a lot here who don't have friends at all, but i want to see if some one can relate to this.

i think that i have a lot of friends, more than i can handle keeping in contact with, and they are friends i made through my life since i was a kid, and still in contact with usually i call them maybe once in 3 months if not longer, i thought that it's okay the way it's, let me think .. they are probably 3 friends, there's more but not so close maybe i contact them once a year or tow years.
and i also have a best friend, she came to my house a few days ago and was really angry because i didn't contact her for 10 days and she was always the one who sent me massages before these 10 days, i just felt funny seeing her angry about that and laughed at the time.

but then when i think about it, i feel like things are out of control, like time is flying and i just forget to talk to my friends, and then one day when i want to talk to them it would be too late, as if they are going to slip like water Through my fingers, and i start to panic.

i am planning to do something to avoid this if possible, like a list so that i can remember them easily, cause i forget about them for a long time then they suddenly popup in my mind.

can anyone relate to this ?



SpreadsheetMaster
Snowy Owl
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Joined: 3 Apr 2017
Age: 32
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Posts: 129
Location: Seattle WA

07 May 2017, 9:25 pm

I felt a little jealous reading your post, because I have to put 95-100% of the effort of keeping in contact with all but one of my friends (and the remaining one I still have to do the majority for).



Summer_Twilight
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08 May 2017, 8:34 am

I am going through a time of friend loss too since 2014.