Pregnant autistics

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Those of you who are autistic and have been pregnant, what was it like? Do you think being autistic influenced your experience of pregnancy, or did pregnancy affect your autistic traits? Did you enjoy being pregnant, or not? Did you get treated well by doctors and so forth?

I apologise that this isn't really an answer but an affirmation, I would also love to know about this as I am hoping one day to have a baby. I have never really thought about having autism and becoming pregnant due to having some serious health conditions as well as ASD. I would suggest that maybe you should also post this is the woman's discussions forum also (maybe you have already done so)

Sadly, this is something I never experienced because I take medication to treat a certain medical condition. I would like to know about other women's experiences, though.

I was pregnant in 2008 at age 20 and gave birth 9 months and 1 day later to a boy weighing 8 pounds, 11.2 ounces... my son "Larsy". He was on the large side of normal-sized, so he pressed on my stomach making me vomit easily. I was vomiting every second day and whenever we went in the car, I vomited. Doctors' appointments were actually bad for my health because it was the middle of summer for much of the time and the car was like an oven and then it started moving and, well, forget it. I couldn't eat rich rich foods but his father kinda made me, and I would often vomit it up or keep it down but only by laying still in bed. The birth was much easier than the pregnancy, but after that I had postpartum depression, and got a lot of stigma from people at the hospital and in my and his family for it. Even my depression BEFORE he was born, people at the mental hospital I was in were saying I didn't need that baby, and they were right, but they said it confrontationally a bit, like I had done something wrong. I'm glad my son is here, but what a nightmare. I was compared to a murderer (an actual woman who drowned her 5 kids in a bathtub in that city bc she had postpartum depression and like me thought she was evil and needed to be punished) by the head shrink at the hopital he was born at, who probably treated her herself cuz sshe WAS treated at that hospital. I've never gotten over it. Sorry for going off on a bit of a tangent. Just know what you're getting into and know that no matter how many people stigmatize you you have a baby to console you.

That woman that compared me to the murderer, Andrea Yates, was nice to my face and I actually thought she was nice... what a naive idiot I was... though I sensed stigma among other staff... and among our own families... only my friends online were somewhat helpful. I will never trust a health care professional again.

I HATED being pregnant. I hated not having the right to control what I put in my body, I hated nine months of not knowing how it was going to turn out, I HATED being so deeply attached to this person I couldn't really check on other than counting kicks and a handful of ultrasounds. I really tried not to, but I hyperfocused on everything that could go wrong and I HATED, HATED, HATED being pregnant. All four times. The baby rolls and kicks were THE ONLY GOOD PART.

I hated dealing with the doctors. Three out of the four were as*holes that had no problem with using fear and arm-twisting to gain compliance-- not that I didn't listen to them, but I did say what I thought and ask questions, and they didn't like that. The third one had the gall to suggest that I was going to kill my baby because I had a panic attack in his office, after he tried to tell me she wasn't going to be OK because she was "too small" (wouldn't listen to me tell her she was two weeks younger than his calculator said, and be damned if she wasn't ten days 'late' and JUST FINE THANK YOU.

I didn't tell any of them about the autism until the last pregnancy. Recommend you don't either. Had one doc try to pressure me into an abortion at 24+ weeks because I disclosed.

Labor was never really a problem. I always wanted my husband with me, because by and large people don't listen when I talk and I knew I needed someone to speak for me if I wanted to have any hope of being heard. No problems though other than puking all the way through labor with the first and the third insisting on an oblique breech presentation until the nurse reached up there and held onto her head. Binary pain response was handy in labor!! It never hurt until it was time to push.

I lie raising kids. But again-- DO NOT DISCLOSE. CAN'T STRESS THAT ENOUGH.

I hated being pregnant. I had all day sickness for nine months, both times. I was working two jobs when I was pregnant the first time. I finished the first job one month before and second job finished one week before he arrived. I was exhausted. He was also overdue so the obstetrician gave me a drug called prostin that's meant to gently get things started but it triggered a tonic contraction which is a contraction that doesn't stop. People talk about kidney stones being the worst pain but I've had one and it's not a patch on a tonic contraction. When the Ob realised what was happening, he grabbed my trolley and just started running with it yelling "Get me an anaesthetist NOW!"
The last thing I was aware of before they put me under was that my baby was in cardiac arrest.
We both survived and the Ob told me he had read about a prostin triggered tonic contraction once in a journal article. It's a 1 in 100,000 reaction.
Still, it didn't put me off having another. I don't understand why some women really love babies. Babies are OK but small children are way better. I found once they could communicate in a way other than crying, they started to become really fun.

My autism wasn't disclosed to many, but the problem was my bipolar being disclosed... people called CPS over the bipolar thinking I was going to kill my baby or something.

And that abortion story BuyerBeware told was AWFUL. It's euthanasia to do that to a viable fetus and it's discrimination to do that because someone is autistic.

Sounds like I'm the only one who enjoyed pregnancy as I kept doing everything I was already doing. I have been pregnant 5 times, first was when I was 20 and resulted in a lovely autistic son. My next was an early miscarriage and that was fine also as it didn't feel right. My third I felt sick but never was sick and resulted in my lovely undiagonised autistic daughter. Pregnancy 4 was complicated. Although I enjoyed being pregnant and even got to 2nd trimester I knew something was up. I ended up getting sepsis and miscarrying at just under 20 weeks. Pregancy 5 ended similar to 4 but at 14 weeks due to an infection also. So they watch me like a hawk if I get pregnant again.

As far as pregnancy influencing autistic traits-- I don't know.

I always felt "more normal" while I was pregnant or breast feeding. I don't know if that's because all the extra hormones had some moderating effect on the autism and anxiety...

...or whether it's because it's considered "normal" for pregnant women and new moms to be neurotic, anxious, and disheveled.

Ugh. What a way to get a kid.

The kids are worth the carrying, though.

And yes-- my experience was eugenics in action, clear and ugly. That woman can kiss my autistic ass though-- I continued the pregnancy and "the baby" is now 5 and wonderful.

Warning: this post is very negative. Everyone is different. But this is MY experience.

Being pregnant was uncomfortable for the same physical reasons it is for neurotypical women. I was very depressed the first time. I didn't know I had autism. The nurses saw that I was quiet and defensive/private. They misinterpreted it as me being a drug addict or something. They treated me with no respect because I was poor at the time. They didn't believe "my story" because it was somewhat different than what they were used to. So I went without prenatal care for much of the latter of my pregnancy. I wasn't depressed because of the pregnancy directly, but I was very suicidal. It was a rough time. I didn't want to deliver in a hospital but I ended up there and it was the single most horrifying event of my life. I will not lie. It was terrible a hundred times over. I ended up with PTSD from the experience. The staff was horrible and invasive. They didn't ask before they would go shoving their fingers up my twat. I felt like a trapped animal.

Hard to believe, but, that baby saved my life. Let's say it was darkness up until the day he was born. When I seen him softly wimpering across the room, looking straight at me, the sun came out and my world changed. I loved being a mom to an infant because I felt so USEFUL. I always had something to do and someone to cuddle with and take care of. I loved it.

I fell pregnant again 5 years later. It wasn't necessarily planned, but it was welcome. The only good thing about the second baby was feeling her kick. I was apprehensive the entire time and had so many complications. I didn't seek medical attention until about halfway through because of my previous bad experience. I wanted a homebirth, but couldn't find anyone. The whole pregnancy I was terrified of the end. The end was pretty bad again. Again, I still didn't know I had autism. The doctors and nurses treated me like a child. Some would demand I spread my legs for them. The whole thing just makes me sad. Prenatal care and birthing in America is just so f****d. My doc was slightly nicer this time and "let" me get a c-section after days of labor. It was the biggest relief of my life. But recovering from a C-section is horrible. The baby at the end was, of course, wonderful. But nothing takes away those terrible memories of the doctors and nurses and not being supported. I really just didnt have a good support system at all. I got my tubes tied with that c-section, so I will never go through that misery again. I would love more children. Maybe I could adopt one day.

I think if I ever got pregnant again I would have an abortion or kill myself or something. That sounds horrible but it was so bad with the doctors and nurses. And I can't even think of a way that it could have been better. They just don't care, don't have time, and the nurses are always changing. You don't know who will be delivering your baby. Even the doctor could be different. So how can you prepare for that? I always thought I would love being pregnant but it was the hugest disappointment.

Might be worth a watch

BurntOrange, don't feel bad about saying NEVER AGAIN.

After my first one (assumptions that I was not complying with treatment and scare tactics and generally being ignored), I swore I'd have the next one alone under a bush somewhere.

After my third one (more arm twisting and scare tactics, then punishing me for having panic attacks in the office even though I had warned them that would be the result of trying to intimidate me), I swore I wouldn't have any more.

I got my tubes tied after the fourth one. Yeah, because four is enough and 34 is old enough... But also because I'd rather end it there (OK, I'd rather pull out my own toenails with pliers) than go through prenatal care again.