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SpectrumDoc
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28 Apr 2017, 9:42 am

Hi All, new here and looking for some advice:

I've been a doctor for 5 years and have come to terms with the fact that I'm not "warm and fuzzy." Some patients will outright tell me that I could improve my "bedside manner."

What I've recently discovered is that, if the patient tells me directly that they don't like my bedside manner, and I tell them that I have Asperger's, they're quick to forgive and even appear relieved.

So my question has two layers: 1) what do you think of how I handled it? 2) do you think I should offer up the Asperger's info up-front - before they have time to be judgy?

- SpectrumDoc



Tawaki
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28 Apr 2017, 11:11 pm

There are a bunch of queations...

Speciality like surgery or radiology? Where it is your skill that is more important than the fuzzy.

I don't care if my neurosurgeon is lacking slightly in social skills. My GP is a whole different ball game.

Do they do Press-Gainey surveys where you work? My ER Aspie doctor friend is getting hammered because of them. He's been dragged into the high ups office because of poor surveys.

I personally would not want to know about your diagnosis. If it's bad enough for me to say something about how you are acting, I'm not coming back regardless the reason why. We would not be a good fit.

I have had flakey, weird GPs. I don't have it in me to deal with personality conflicts/weirdness/issues anymore.

Urgent Care, ER, Radiology, neurologist doing EMGs, various surgeons, all of these are limited visits. I'll put up with a lot if you are excellent. My psychiatrist, GP, cardiologist..that's a on going thing, and I need a good working relationship. I want to be on the same wave length

If you are in a solo practice, why not get the word out you are spectrum friendly?



SCW73
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03 May 2017, 10:58 am

That seems like a tough call. My OB/GYN has terrible online ratings on her bedside manner, but I find her blunt and to the point manner to be fine if not preferred. The pediatrician that my kids used to go to was rather monotone and low key and I thought he was great but I have heard several people say that they don't like his bedside manner. To me he was very calming. You can't make everyone happy and you can only be you. I think if they mention it or if you notice that they seem displeased you should go ahead and mention it. It may put them at ease and if it doesn't they weren't happy anyhow so no harm done.



shortfatbalduglyman
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05 May 2017, 11:16 pm

why not put it in your work profile. so when your patients look you up, after they look at where you went to undergrad, med school, residency, internship, they see that you disclosed as autistic?

how about put up a poster of the autism ribbon on your office wall?

quite frankly, about 3 years ago, I got a medical doctor that appeared like he could've been on the autism spectrum. he had the nerve to ask "do you have male or female genitalia?". answered. "you could've fooled me!". he talked so loudly and energetically, it was like he was screaming. apparently he had never interacted with a transsexual before.

his bedside manner was pretty bad.

but whatever. maybe he had narcissistic personality disorder or schizophrenia.

a clinical psychologist had the nerve to tell me I used "your transgender walk". he watched me walk from the waiting room to his office. several feet. several times. and he had the nerve to comment.

but maybe that was an 8O autistic gait :oops:

but in any event, the clinical psychologist missed an autism symptom. even though I disclosed that I was autistic. :roll:

so if a clinical psychologist does not know any more about autism, how or why would your patients know about autism?

_______________________________________________________

but of course all the jobs I had were just menial labor. cashier, actor, recordkeeping assistant, French fry distributer.

and when I had a job, I was pretty much just like a vending machine. not enough quantity or quality of interaction, for anyone to need or want to know that I was autistic. so no need to disclose. at least, not to customers. supervisors were a different story. :roll:



SpectrumDoc
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08 May 2017, 11:55 am

Thank you for all the great feedback.

I am a psychopharmacologist and therefore do have to establish rapport with my patients. In the future, I'll try to detect when people start to bristle and get that disclosure out there early.

As suggested, I already list ASDs as one of my subspecialties, but so far I haven't had anybody say: "when I saw that on your list, I wondered if you would be on the spectrum too."

Being Aspie is so weird because so many people don't pick up on it at all -- and so we get to dig ourselves a hole and don't realize it until it's too late. :cry:



Chronos
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08 May 2017, 8:48 pm

SpectrumDoc wrote:
Hi All, new here and looking for some advice:

I've been a doctor for 5 years and have come to terms with the fact that I'm not "warm and fuzzy." Some patients will outright tell me that I could improve my "bedside manner."

What I've recently discovered is that, if the patient tells me directly that they don't like my bedside manner, and I tell them that I have Asperger's, they're quick to forgive and even appear relieved.

So my question has two layers: 1) what do you think of how I handled it? 2) do you think I should offer up the Asperger's info up-front - before they have time to be judgy?

- SpectrumDoc


If you want. But you can also try to improve your bedside manner. Maybe try to emulate a doctor with a good bedside manner.

I think two of my doctors might be on the spectrum and that's fine with me. But I don't really care much about bedside manner as long as the doctor is a good at communicating technical details and relevant health information, and isn't an outright jerk.



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10 May 2017, 11:58 pm

I think you went about it the right way, telling them as a result of how they took your behavior. I wish my doctors were aspies. I'd look forward to going.