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Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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29 Apr 2017, 3:34 am

For the past week or so, I've been having thoughts which 'aren't mine.' It's like I'm 'hearing' them but NOT out loud: it's rather in the same way that I 'hear' my own thoughts (as opposed to actual speech), except these are completely out of my control and catch me by surprise every time. I don't know when they will happen or what they will say. I feel a wave of fear & disorientation sometimes when it happens because it's such a strange feeling and it catches me off guard. It happens all throughout the day. Usually the content is random, but at other times they repeat my own thoughts (like an echo I can't control) or repeat what I'm reading moments after I have done so, sometimes word for word, other times they elaborate, for example adding an adjective that changes the whole meaning.

Basically it feels like something/someone else is somehow shaping these thoughts in my own mind to 'speak' to the thoughts which I myself control. Sometimes they interrupt and distract me. They're going on as I'm writing this. Examples: 'You've convinced me.' 'In the basement.' I do feel compelled to 'think back' -- things like 'Shh, be quiet,' even though it's not technically actual noise they're making, just noise in my 'mind's ear.' I do feel like there are people or entities 'speaking' through these thoughts, and even if they exist only in another part of my brain, they are separate from me. Just now they said: 'Other people. Changes in you.' As such, I feel like I need to be careful what I think back to them.

Is there anyone else here at all who has experienced something like this, or knows anyone who has? Is it something I should be really worried about? I have a psychiatrist but am reluctant to tell her for fear of her assuming it's more than it is (again, I'm not literally 'hearing' them, I'm receiving them on a different, internal level of sound, and I know that other people around me are unable to 'hear' them and can distinguish between them and words that everybody can hear) and, I know it might sound bizarre, but it seems almost disrespectful to whatever is behind these thoughts ('Whatever needs to be done.'), as though I should really try to hear them out ...

Thank you for reading all of this; your respectful input would be appreciated so much

If it makes any difference ... I'm diagnosed and in treatment for ASD and recurrent depression & anxiety. Also awaiting assessment for probable ADHD.



sparrowblue
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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29 Apr 2017, 3:37 am

I feel I could spend all day just typing what they are 'saying.' Just very random things which are hard to connect.

Just now:
'Find an escape route.'
'Apparently driven.'
'We're the nice ones.'



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29 Apr 2017, 6:06 pm

You are not alone in your experience but definitely do not relay this information to any psychiatrist (for none of them are trained to be able to «correctly» handle matters of quantum-interference... this can also be termed as «spirits/discarnates» who are linking into and/or interfering with your mind/mental-space).

This can occur for a variety of reasons and, believe it or not, even be induced by certain kinds of technologies (such as psychotronic-devices). Some beings are aware of what they are doing but many of them also do it inadvertently or unknowingly. From the sounds of your particular case, they sound like they are fully aware of what they are doing with you, and they need to be educated as to the reality of their particular condition so that they can properly move on and learn why it is important for them to stop interfering into your thought-processes.

This can be done as you learn about these realities, and as you learn about how it all works and why it happens, they, too, will learn of the realities of why it is important for them to stop «intruding» into your mental-processes. I have a lot of sources for you to go through, so this will not be a one-day educational-process, but it is important for the benefit of both you and the «beings» who «telepathically project» into your mind (this is similar to a story from long ago, but the word «telepathy» was not yet coined, thus it was referred to as a «whispering» into the ear, instead of a telepathic-impression onto the mind, and those beings also need to learn of the reality that they, too, are also being similarly controlled, similarly to how they «impose» their thoughts upon you; ALL of them need to cease and desist).

Anyway, with that all mentioned, here are a handful of several of the sources you need to start absorbing/learning...

Read the posthumous book/work by Dr. Carl Wickland : «30 Years Among the Dead»
His book is available on-line from various sources for free in pdf-format.

The Messiah is also back, believe it or not, and his «telepathic-subjugation» teachings can be learned as follows...


http://www.the-testament-of-truth.co.uk ... ndsieg.mp3
http://www.the-testament-of-truth.co.uk ... pircom.mp3
http://www.the-testament-of-truth.co.uk ... irposs.mp3
http://www.the-testament-of-truth.co.uk ... ritedu.mp3
(The above audio-links come from the page @ http://www.the-testament-of-truth.co.uk ... cdlist.htm )

I also have a lot of other documentation on this phenomena from various sources, some even from researchers in foreign-countries in different languages, but I am still getting a lot of my digital-clutter re-organised and do not necessarily remember where they are right now, nor are all of them necessarily available from on-line sources. Anyway, I hope you manage to get your matters resolved, and beware of the psychiatric-industry (I don't have enough spare-time at the moment to continue detailing why you should distrust the psychiatric-industry but it is a plain statement of fact that I can back up with plenty of well-documented scientific-literature; just beware that there a LOT of «dis-information» agents who spread mis-information via their sock-puppet accounts via astro-turfing campaigns in a nefarious effort to discredit any information that points out the corruption that exists amongst psychiatrists).


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03 May 2017, 3:22 am

I have definitely personally encountered more than one other Aspie who, based on their own report, sometimes experienced the feeling that some of the voices in their heads were not their own. I'm not sure if they heard these voices as often as you are but they were a cause of concern and confusion for them as well. Most people, even neurotypicals, actually experience random, 'intrusive thoughts' occasionally (more on that later). It's actually not uncommon for people on autism spectrum to also report hearing voices or experiencing different kinds of psychosis at times (a Google search for "autism" & "hearing voices" will pull up some examples).

The experience of "hearing voices" in one's head can be complex to diagnose - it can be a normal experience and no cause for concern, or it could indicate a possible 'disorder' (following DSM diagnostic model) with varying levels of severity. An important consideration is how much the voices are bothering you - e.g., are they causing you impairment or stress that is a serious concern to you, or can you just ignore them and find yourself able to more or less enjoy life to your usual degree? Sometimes 'intrusive thoughts'/voices (like the ones which happen in Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) go away or reduce in frequency the more a person just learns to ignore them and not react emotionally with anxiety about the thoughts. Other times it might be a sign of a more serious neurochemical issue that is causing an altered state. It's probably a good sign that you have only been experiencing this for a week - has anything changed in your life recently? E.g., an increase in stress, sleeping less (or more), changes in eating habits or other significant changes in routine, etc.? Some people on the spectrum can experience an acute, transient form of psychosis under high stress (e.g., sudden onset of feeling like thoughts are not one's own, sometimes with paranoia, but short-lived once stress is reduced). It sounds like you may be finding the thoughts moderately distracting/disruptive and concerning, so talking to your psychiatrist could be helpful (particularly if she is one who listens well and spends adequate time with you in the session). Just proceed with caution since it can be difficult to convey these kinds of inner subjective experiences in an accurate and clear way to others.

A few considerations: First, the experience of hearing voices can be very normal. As far as we can tell, the vast majority of people 'hear voices' or an 'inner voice' to the extent that most people have thoughts which are like unspoken sentences in our head (these may be less frequent in people who think mostly in visuals but if the person is verbal and able to speak and write, they probably experience an inner voice in their head). It's also very common and normal to sometimes feel like we have different voices in our head (e.g., we might have a self-critical inner voice, as well as a kinder, compassionate voice that may create a kind of inner dialogue; or we might have two voices or parts of our psyche that take up different positions on an issue or decision). Furthermore, most people report the occasional (maybe 1-2 times per day, or less frequent), random "intrusive"-seeming thought that could be weird or distressing, which may feel like it came from 'outside' themselves even though they know they didn't physically hear it. It's good that you are aware that the thoughts are being heard in your head and not outside of your body.

However, if a person starts to experience thoughts that are too distracting, distressing, out of control, and/or causing some kind of impairment (worse than usual) in communication, work, relationships, etc., then psychiatric or psychotherapeutic help may be a good idea. Certain medications can stop or reduce the problematic symptoms for some people. Although, might be worth trying relaxation and stress-reduction techniques first, just to see if it helps (e.g., guided body scan meditation, or peaceful music, or whatever you like to do to relax and take care of yourself).

Finally, about the feeling that it might be coming from different, unseen entities - this theory is likely to not be well understood or believed by most psychiatric clinicians. I also doubt that this is the most likely explanation for these kinds of phenomena. At the same time, I personally have a somewhat unconventional view of thoughts and 'where they come from' based on experiences from deep meditative states. Consciousness (the nature of 'mind') is something that we only understand partially (as an analogy, mind looking at mind is kind of like trying to look at your own eye using that eye) and various mysterious experiences are not well accounted for or accepted within modern psychiatry/psychology. These experiences may be very real but would be seen as delusional or a disorder within the current model.

I will share something from my own direct experience in case someone finds it helpful: I have been on silent meditation retreats that put my mind in an 'altered state' of consciousness (no kind of drugs involved, just meditation) - in this state the nature of mind, of self, of world was experienced very differently from my normal state. I believe these different perceptions were just as 'real' as my usual perception; my theory is that meditation is one method which can bypass or unlock some usual organizing structure in our brains which then allows us to perceive more of the underlying truth of the universe and how it really is under the surface of our usual perceptions through our sensory organs. In this altered state the world seemed a lot more like how it is described within quantum mechanics. E.g., I experienced all phenomena (thoughts, feelings, body sensations, sounds, visual perceptions all forms within the environment in my vicinity, and even time itself, to be both flowing through my consciousness as individual streams of light energy, as well as arising again and again in concert, moment to moment to moment. The dual nature of light and matter as both waves and particles made sense literally, in this lived experience. It was like one constant sense of now/the present in "my" mind, which was unmoving/still, spacious, without clear boundary, but through which every single kind of 'form' was being processed. In this sense the "thoughts" that went through my awareness were no more "me" than the weather patterns like the clouds in the sky; or on the other hand, it was all "me" to the same degree. My sensory awareness was heightened to a surprising degree - e.g., I felt aware, all at the same time, of every single leaf (many thousands of them since I was outside in a forested area) moving in the wind around me, and all the different sounds nearby, as well as many other phenomena like thoughts arising or sensations, etc. I noticed that all possible emotion was present in the experience, kind of like undercurrents in an ocean, where some would rise up like a wave with more intensity while others were just present, latent but still there as a potentiality. It was like my brain was no longer filtering out any data from the environment, and it was showing just how much data a brain can process all at once. For some days afterward I felt that although there was still a vague sense of an "I," or some witnessing consciousness, all phenomena that make up what we think of as the world and even our sense of self were simply occurring like streams of energy from some mysterious source. I could make decisions but didn't need to- there was just this natural flow to everything, and most definitely, any thoughts which arose (which were relatively scarce/infrequent) were just another interesting phenomenon to observe. Anyway, I could go on, but I think the point is clear:

What constitutes who "we" are, really? Our brain takes in input from some mysterious soup of particles and waves around us, and it tries to make sense of it all, and uses neural structures and sensory organs developed via evolution to do so, in a way that will help us survive. The sense of being an independent entity unto ourselves is one such core structure, which serves an important function and exists in this lived sense, but on the other hand after an experience like the one I (and certainly many others) have had, who am I to try to say where thoughts originally or truly come from, for any of us? Consciousness exists, a sense of I exists, forms (other people, animals, objects, etc.) around me exist, as far as I can tell, and also...on the deepest level it's all composed of the same underlying energy expressed via different frequencies/vibrations. It took some time but I've been able to make peace with this experience and now life feels pretty pleasant most of the time, particularly since I don't worry anymore about what's going on in my head. :)



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04 May 2017, 12:12 pm

I wouldn't say I experience what's been described here exactly, but at night trying to fall asleep I still get the occasional (hypnogogic?) hallucination, which similarly seems to place words/thoughts that 'aren't your own' inside your head. It is internal but quite shocking when it happens because it feels as if someone actually put the thought there. I often hear names spoken and even laughter, but because I know what it is it's just a minor inconvenience that doesn't bother me too much.
Something else that happens a lot can be really frustrating, though. I'll be thinking visually with images (this might be hard to coherently explain!) but also thinking the words of the same train of thought like speech. It's as though the visual side is light, and the word side is sound: I conclude whatever I'm thinking about with the images first, and then feel I have to stop my 'word' train of thought because I've already finished.


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08 May 2017, 1:29 am

Perhaps I should speak for myself here, but some people are beyond help from psychiatrists, therapists, meditation gurus, or what have you. I'm one of them.

My thoughts race to the point they keep me up at night.

Sometimes I have no control on actions I'm made to do - walking naked into supermarkets, parks, hospital ER's, etc. Breaking into churches, banks, police stations, etc. Vandalizing signs and displays.

My thoughts are so extreme in black and white that there is just no middle for me, no gray area.

Psychiatry failed me. Psychotherapy failed me. Mindfulness training failed me. CBT failed me.

Alcohol does slow me down to the point where I can function usefully in society; otherwise, it's total isolation for me.



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06 Jul 2017, 10:14 am

Quote:
Is there anyone else here at all who has experienced something like this


Yes, I can't tell if I'm experiencing the exact same thing you do, but that sounds like my brain. The voice in my head is not exactly "me." And there are a lot of random, meaningless phrases that pop out of nowhere, seemingly extra loud and significant (as opposed to the constant chatter). Sometimes I blurt them out loud, but usually I control that if other people are around, unless I'm deeply involved in something. People around me are used to this since I'm known to be kind of eccentric.



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10 Jul 2017, 1:40 am

I've experienced that at times when I was going through a psychotic depression.


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12 Jul 2017, 12:49 am

When I work on my creative projects I get all manner of voices and tangents slamming into my splintered brainbox, outside of those lanes I diligently keep track of my various dialogues to ensure I am not slipping into further crazyland haha. When I've gone on a no sleep stretch I can get wicked ''insert random conversation overhearing'' kind of audio hallucinations and have had such experiences whilst under the influence but outside of that I don't have intrusive thoughts placed in my skull by the intelligence agencies.



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14 Jul 2017, 7:07 am

It's easy to be brainwashed into thinking others' thoughts about you are your own, which happened to me. I started thinking I was a world-class incompetent at life because people told me I was, not because I was (I wasn't, but I didn't realize it-- I had to go thru proving myself to myself).