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CuriousButDepressed
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 30 Apr 2017
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 145
Location: Boston

01 May 2017, 2:22 pm

Hello people. I am a song-writer and not only do I write my own material, I also like to re-write the material of other artists and give their songs new meaning by keeping the titles of their songs the same and re-writing the lyrics. Today, I'm going to show you several re-written Nirvana songs I recently worked on and I want to hear your feedback on them, if possible. To emphasize the differences, I'm going to show the original version of the song, then my re-written version, rinse and repeat.

1. SERVE THE SERVANTS:


ORIGINAL VERSION:
[Verse 1]
Teenage angst has paid off well
Now I'm bored and old
Self-appointed judges judge
More than they have sold
If she floats than she is not
A witch like we have thought
A downpayment on another
One at Salem's lot

[Chorus]
Serve the servants, oh no
Serve the servants, oh no
Serve the servants, oh no
Serve the servants
That legendary divorce is such a bore

[Verse 2]
As my bones grew they did hurt
They hurt really bad
I tried hard to have a father
But instead I had a dad
I just want you to know that I
Don't hate you anymore
There is nothing I could say
That I haven't thought before

[Chorus]
Serve the servants, oh no
Serve the servants, oh no
Serve the servants, oh no
Serve the servants
That legendary divorce is such a bore

[Guitar Solo]

[Chorus]
Serve the servants, oh no
Serve the servants, oh no
Serve the servants, oh no
Serve the servants
That legendary divorce is such a bore

MY VERSION:

[VERSE 1]
Teenage angst has paid off well
Now I'm Bored and Old
But if I Keep Whining Hard
Then My Tunes Are Sold
No Need To Argue It Out
All Them Want Me Right Now
The One Question I Ask Myself'
Endure All This How?

[CHORUS]
Serve the Servants - Alright
Serve the Servants - Alright
Serve the Servants - Alright
Serve the Servants - Still mandatory sad songs are such a bore

[VERSE 2]
Cause conforming really hurts
It hurts really bad
I try hard to leave the bother
But I can't it makes me mad
Running is futile so I
Cater to every whim
Even though it's misery
There is nothing else less grim

[CHORUS]
Serve the Servants - Alright
Serve the Servants - Alright
Serve the Servants - Alright
Serve the Servants - Still mandatory sad songs are such a bore

[GUITAR SOLO]

[CHORUS]
Serve the Servants - Alright
Serve the Servants - Alright
Serve the Servants - Alright
Serve the Servants - Still mandatory sad songs are such a bore

LITHIUM:

ORIGINAL:

I'm so happy because today
I've found my friends
They're in my head
I'm so ugly, but that's okay, 'cause so are you
We've broken our mirrors
Sunday morning is everyday for all I care
And I'm not scared
Light my candles in a daze
'Cause I've found god
Hey, hey, hey

I'm so lonely but that's okay I shaved my head
And I'm not sad
And just maybe I'm to blame for all I've heard
But I'm not sure
I'm so excited, I can't wait to meet you there
But I don't care
I'm so horny but that's okay
My will is good
Hey, hey, hey

I like it, I'm not gonna crack
I miss you, I'm not gonna crack
I love you, I'm not gonna crack
I killed you, I'm not gonna crack

I like it, I'm not gonna crack
I miss you, I'm not gonna crack
I love you, I'm not gonna crack
I killed you, I'm not gonna crack

I'm so happy 'cause today
I've found my friends,
They're in my head
I'm so ugly, that's okay, 'cause so are you,
Broke our mirrors
Sunday morning is everyday for all I care,
And I'm not scared
Light my candles in a daze
'Cause I've found god

Yeah, yeah,
Yeah, yeah,
Yeah, yeah,
Yeah, yeah,
Yeah, yeah,
Yeah, yeah, yeah

I like it, I'm not gonna crack
I miss you, I'm not gonna crack
I love you, I'm not gonna crack
I killed you, I'm not gonna crack

I like it, I'm not gonna crack
I miss you, I'm not gonna crack
I love you, I'm not gonna crack
I killed you, I'm not gonna crack

MY VERSION:
I’m so lonely, that’s okay I found some friends
They’re in my head
I’m so ugly, that’s okay, cause’ so are you
And way more too
I’m a dummy, that’s okay, school system sucks
Not worth a buck
I’m so scummy, that’s okay the world’s to blame

YEAH-AH-AH-AH-AH!
YEAH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH
YEAH-AH-AH-AH-AH
YEAH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH
YEAH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH
YEAH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH

I ain’t funny, that’s okay their humor’s bad
It’s so not rad
Got no money, that’s okay, don’t need to work
Bosses are jerks
Lost my honey, that’s okay, she’s a dumb pain
Made me insane
Outlook’s sunny, feel okay, cause I’m the best

YEAH-AH-AH-AH-AH
YEAH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH
YEAH-AH-AH-AH-AH
YEAH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH
YEAH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH
YEAH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH

I love to say the best is myself
I love to talk well all bout’ myself
I NEED to say the best is myself
I NEED to talk well all bout’ myself
I love to compliment me myself
I love to sing praises bout’ myself
I NEED to compliment me myself
I NEED to sing praises bout myseeeeeeeelf


I’m so lonely, that’s okay I found some friends
They’re in my head
I’m so ugly, that’s okay, cause’ so are you
And way more too
I’m a dummy, that’s okay, school system sucks
Not worth a buck
I’m so scummy, that’s okay the world’s to blame

Yeah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah

I love to say the best is myself
I love to talk well all bout’ myself
I NEED to say the best is myself
I NEED to talk well all bout’ myself
I love to compliment me myself
I love to sing praises bout’ myself
I NEED to compliment me myself
I NEED to sing praises bout myseeeeeeeelf


I re-wrote the songs in order to establish messages that have a connection with the title and have some sort of deeper meaning. Try to figure them out.



aLien mUsic
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 19 Apr 2017
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 4

01 May 2017, 2:27 pm

haha thats cool. there was a time when Nirvana was all I listened to and knew how to play all of their songs!


_________________
You are a figment of my imagination


fakkau89
Raven
Raven

Joined: 19 Jan 2017
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 106

21 May 2017, 1:25 am

This is a cool idea. Can I do one? :)

Mogwai - Take me somewhere Nice

Burning Old photographs
Cus I don't want to remember...Anymore

Times I. Cannot change.
Blank faces staring
into the abyss
of bad memories

What was that for?
Was I really that damaged?
Was I really that hurt?

So I burned my box of photos
What would you do?

My innocence broken
What was that for?

This world can be soo cruel to the young
And I am no longer number 1

I try to be strong
I try to be tough
Now I try to be bad

So I wont get sad anymore...

So take me somewhere nice
New friend
So we can have a moment
I can cherish

In a new photograph.

(What do you all think of it? good/bad comments/opinions?)



JohnnyLurg
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 24 Nov 2010
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 331

25 May 2017, 10:02 pm

Been a Nun

She should have stayed away from men
She should have had more faith in Him
She should have cried that she was born
She should have worn the hood and scorn

She should have been a nun

She should have stayed away from crowds
She should have made the Father proud
She should have stayed away from pants
She should have stayed away from Lance

She should have been a nun

About a Squirrel

I need a sleazy friend
I do, with a nut to lend
I don't think you made this poo
I do, won't you have a cashew

I'll take advantage while
You hang me in a tree
But I can't feed you every night
Squeak

I'm standing on your line
I do hope you have some twine
I do electrocute
I do keep a nut for you