First ASD-related problems with a job and MAJOR issues

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So I relocated to the opposite side of the planet for a promising job directly related to my background and to spend some time abroad. While my ASD has been minimally an issue in past positions, with any communication issues being minor and "overridden" by doing very good work, at my current workplace, things are basically run in every way that amplifies every ASD-related issue that could possibly happen. Essentially, my boss is very rigid in running things a certain way - like they are unrealistically demanding (like saying why I haven't finished something in 2 days that takes 2 weeks for anyone to do), has ~3 hours of meetings per day (auditory processing disorder nightmare), and strongly discourages any written communication - only verbal communication is really allowed (also a nightmare). I haven't disclosed ASD, but said I have auditory processing disorder, but my boss was not at all receptive to that and their response was one word: "try," which I feel like is telling a blind person to "try" seeing better. There's a good chance I'll be let go, which I think I could recover from professionally, but I would be hit financially very hard (have to break housing and utility contracts and repay mucho $ in relocation reimbursement). I'll try my best to adapt, but I'm not sure if it's worth it in the long run if it causes me so much stress (it's a 2 year contract position).

I've had to move great distances for family jobs on multiple occasions and destinations. It is very stressful due to culture shock. Even moving to a country where language is not an issue still brings many communication problems.
Just because your boss and the culture is one of verbal communication, is it not possible for you to write notes for yourself or discreetly record the meetings? Yes this would be time consuming and tedious but may at least save your job for the two years you must endure it. Ive had people tell me endless times, "you don't need to take down notes", but I just respond that this is how I "listen". If the speaker is adamant, then recording without being annoyingly obviously may be the only option.
Your boss being an ogre may not have a solution other than your patient persistence to do your work as well as you are able.

Why don't you ask at the next meeting if it's ok for everybody if you record the meeting? Probably won't work. Sounds like you're being set up for failure. Maybe time to look for another job?

My problem has always been not getting the message and not getting out in time. I wish I would have thought of finding another job and saying 'sorry, it seems this job is not a good fit - no hard feelings'.

I agree that perhaps you should start looking elsewhere. Though in the interim, see if you can record meetings or take notes.

And maybe the next time your boss says "try", you can respond by telling them the same. They shouldn't ask more of you than they're willing to do themselves. That's stupid.

Any update on the situation?

So the other things I haven't mentioned are the verbal abuse/bullying behavior, though after talking to colleagues, I've realized my boss probably doesn't intend to come off this away (they are totally blind to how their behavior affects others), but ofcourse that doesn't change how it's affected my mental state the past few months (i.e. depression, major stress). I've notified HR of my boss' behavior but have held off on filing a formal complaint since my colleagues (the ones who are sympathetic to me and nice) are hesitant for me to proceed because they think it'll make things worse for them.

As an update, I was recently let go and will have around 6 weeks to find another job before I'll have to vacate the country so I don't overstay my visa. Though I'll take it as a rough learning experience of what to watch out for in a future position.


"My problem has always been not getting the message and not getting out in time. I wish I would have thought of finding another job and saying 'sorry, it seems this job is not a good fit - no hard feelings'."

I think this was my problem too - I should have left a few months ago and just been done with it.