Mistaken for thief for moving someone's stuff

Page 1 of 1 [ 3 posts ] 

LonelyJar
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,073

03 May 2017, 5:27 am

A few weeks back, I was getting my haircut with my mom, when I noticed that there weren't many empty seats in the waiting room. I decided to remedy this situation by moving a purse from one of the chairs onto a nearby coffee table. My mother sternly stopped me, telling me that what I was doing was inappropriate, and I reluctantly obeyed her.
In hindsight, I realized that it was a bit unfair of me to move that purse; sure, it would still have been in plain sight if I had moved it, but I think it served as a placeholder, sort of like how I use my suit jacket at formal events. However, once we were both home, my mom decided to explain how she interpreted events: she felt that by even wanting to touch something in public that wasn't mine, I was just asking to be sent to jail. I tried arguing otherwise, but my mom wouldn't listen to me and just reiterated her own argument, getting louder and more bitter with each passing second, before finally giving up and walking away.
I went back to get my haircut - I temporarily went home to eat since I missed breakfast and lunch - and I broke down in front of my haircutter while explaining the situation to him. He ultimately conceded that what I tried to do was less important than my mom's reaction, although I think he only acted neutral about it so I wouldn't break down again. So, now that you know the story, who was more in the right, and what should I do the next time one of my parents decides to overreact for the sake of being overprotective?



BetwixtBetween
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Feb 2014
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,543
Location: Mostly in my head

03 May 2017, 6:06 am

Your mom was worried you'd be seen picking up and walking off with someone's purse. She was afraid you would have been tackled and the police would have been called and saying "I'm sorry officer, he wasn't taking it, he was just moving it," probably wouldn't have been enough to keep you from being taken down to the station and questioned.

However, you were just trying to move a purse from a chair to a table. If the woman wasn't there in the waiting area, it doesn't seem entirely unreasonable to move it so you have a seat.

Both views of the situation appear to have some value to my eyes.

Possible compromise: next time, let the appointment keeper/cashier know about the purse in the chair. Ask them if they know whose it is/if they could keep it safe so nothing happens to it with the owner gone.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

04 May 2017, 5:41 pm

That happened to me on the bus, TWICE. I didn't think it was appropriate to move a stranger's bag, you know, thought it was one of those unwritten rules (unless you asked first). I had my bag on the seat next to me, and twice a (different) woman came along out of nowhere, picked up my bag without saying anything, and dumped it in my lap and sat there, even though that seat wasn't the only seat available. :roll:
Because it happened to me twice, I was beginning to think maybe it is OK to touch a stranger's belongings like that. If they had asked, I would have moved my bag. Supposing my bag was on the seat for a reason, like I was saving the seat for someone?

I think your mum overreacted. I mean, if there was practically no seats left because stuff was left on the seats, and you just moved someone's bag on to the table, and then they came along and saw that nothing was missing in their bag, then you wouldn't have got into trouble. But why were people leaving their personal stuff lying around anyway?


_________________
Female