Why are adult women not as nice?

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There is good change, and then there is bad change.

Peacesells--please read my clarification to Sweetleaf about the post that you quoted in your last message. Especially since when I said "(but had the feeling some others in this thread THOUGHT I wanted)", I meant especially you by those "some others"--I didn't want to call you out by name. But I see that you saw what you wanted to see and saw her misunderstanding as truth, i.e. that I wanted someone who would marry her first boyfriend. In fact, in many senses that couldn't be farther from what I want.

I include personality in "attractiveness", not just beauty. Those girls I was involved with didn't only LOOK unattractive, they weren't my type personality-wise, even though one in particular was a very nice person.



Isn't this the whole thing we're talking about--finding someone on the same page in terms of relationship goals (where stage of development is a major factor)? If I'm looking for "teenish Disney love" as Peacesells puts it, and someone to share a blanket fort with or lie under the stars with and muse about the nature of existence, whereas she's looking for someone stable who will support her and maybe raise a family, doesn't that count as "not being on the same page as far as relationship goals or things like that". Similarly, if my idea of sexual experimentation is rolling around tickling each other in various places, taking showers together, and tasting each other's fluids like a kid licks different candy, and hers is getting handcuffed and being treated roughly, doesn't that ALSO count as "not being on the same page"?



What does "work out" mean here?

It's not "wasted", at least not in the sense of the 20-somethings who do nothing but party and have no idea what they want to do with their lives. I spent a good part of my late teens and early 20s trying to deal with chronic health issues, and also I was a late bloomer socially. I've learned a lot about my fields of interest in that time, the thing is I feel it often isolates me very much.

Most other people, even most aspies, interacted with other kids as a kid, and have a fairly good idea how friendships and human connection "work". Many people are also intellectually less sophisticated, but many are sophisticated enough to do what they want to do career-wise, and don't care about the rest. Getting intellectually way ahead of yourself, and what the real world actually needs, actually hinders getting real things accomplished sometimes.

Maybe the fact that I'm looking for "teenish Disney love" and know I don't want to marry my first girlfriend, because I know something as serious as marriage takes an approach that is much more real-world compromise than fairy tale, is what shows I'm more mature than actual teens, some of whom are actually deluded enough to think their "teenish Disney love" is something worth getting married over, that this wouldn't be a sure way to burst their bubbles. That's perhaps why I'm attracted to adults who give off a child vibe, but rarely if ever actual children.

Last edited by biostructure on 22 May 2017, 4:08 pm, edited 3 times in total.

I don't care about your opinion on me.

That makes sense, that you include personality in attractiveness but not everyone else does. Some people will date based on physical attraction only to find they aren't really otherwise compatible.

And yeah those are examples of not being on the same page...and that is what I mean, is as you get to know someone you've started dating you may find some of those incompatibilities as you go. Especially if you're dating a less experienced woman who's still discovering what she wants in a relationship or what she enjoys sexually.

And I mean the relationship may not work out even if two people do like each other, due to other factors. Like if one person has to move too far away or maybe they have some past baggage they need to work out before they can commit to a relationship or things like that.

No. I don't yet know it well enough to do that.



Now you are projecting NT dating culture onto me again. One thing I do know about ND courtship is that it doesn't contain any "intimacy" (sexual intercourse). NDs don't use "performance in bed" or "physical attractivity" as traits required from partners.



So, experience for you is sex and dating, right? Not for me. That's also why I regard this kind of experience as totally irrelevant for NDs, and potentially detrimental.



First, I don't involve in dating as it was made for NTs, and isn't suitable for NDs.
Second, my criteria are not "inexperienced" or "vulnerable", but unaffected by cultural norms, and thus able to act naturally.



I don't like insecure girls, but I'm also not into monogamy. So, cheating for me is not to show interest in somebody else, but to break up from a commitment because of somebody else.



I'll soon celebrate my 25th marriage anniversary.

Some people practice polygamy, admittedly.

The question is not directed at me personally --

Ideally, all empty virtue-signaling. Then, snowballs into a competition, without a unitary executive.

Private school girls were asking soap-opera like questions, about prenuptials and intrigues, by grammar school. Use a stereotype. It won't hurt.

Learn from the mistakes of others.

Unlike a lot of aspies, I actually had friends as a kid. We didn't do anything "proto-sexual". The closest we (all boys) came to it was urinating on an anthill together. What I did completely miss out on was the awkward but incredibly fun teenage proto-sexuality. Stuff like slow-dancing, "spin the bottle", holding hands in a clumsy way, etc. I was able to catch up on college hook-ups by paying escorts, but I resigned myself to never catching up on the teenage stuff. Until last year, after I lost over 10% of my hair and 2 teeth. I found it through an unlikely source: Tinder. The app that was developed as a hook-up service for alpha males and women, not beta males. Somehow, I ended up meeting a girl there, who later became a very good friend. Me and her do a lot of that teenage stuff: slow-dance, hold hands, cuddle, etc. Nothing more. A part of me feels guilty for playing catch-up through her. But another part of me is very happy to have met her.

I had my first kiss at age 20, at a drunken frat party in a bar in another town. I never learned her name and was too drunk to know she looked like. But the electrifying sexuality of my first kiss (with tongue) and the feeling of her body under my hands (through clothes) hit my brain like a high-volage power line. My first sexual intercourse, however, was with an escort. It lacked that "innocent discovery" feeling, which I was very much looking for, but I was able to partially replicate that later, through escorts that allowed low-level fetishes. Heck, I even had an "innocent discovery" experience last year, when I went to an escort convention in one of the worst neighborhoods in my city. I kissed four escorts, and danced with many of them. (Well, maybe not that innocent. ) I'm pretty sure only the alpha-est men can top that! For free, at least.

Like I talked about in the above paragraph, my friend gives me the feeling like you described. I know she's not an aspie; she's too bubbly and outgoing to be one, it seems. But that's precisely what makes her so fun to be around.

Do you mean that I dislike it just because I don't get any of these hook-ups, and when I will get I will start liking it?

I don't really get this "I don't want to marry my first girlfriend" attitude. IF a great and compatible girl comes along and accepts to be your gf, would you just dump her after a while saying that "I wanna try some other girls before I settle down?".

I mean your whole view on hookups and marriage may change.

Also some things becomr less feasible the older you become.

I doubt it will change. Anyway, what did I say about marriage?

What things?

I don't remember the exact posts; but the overall impression I have of you is that you value long terms and marriage.

This is not a bad thing; I wish you luck to find whatever you are seeking for very soon.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 27 May 2017, 8:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

Feminism is not anti-men in and of itself. Although some self proclaimed feminists may also have radical views regarding men, using generalized language like this is likely why you have experienced "intolerance" from adult women.

Go away Katie. We all know about what generalisations are. H'away!

I miss katie, and her "the women of the world don't want you guys" posts.