Would You Date Someone Who Waits Till Marriage For Sex?

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Would You Date Someone Who Waits Till Marriage For Sex?
Man: Definitely not, would be a deal breaker and waste of time 15%  15%  [ 8 ]
Man: I could wait 3-4 months but not till marriage 13%  13%  [ 7 ]
Man: I would consider it 4%  4%  [ 2 ]
Man: Not my ideal situation but yeah 11%  11%  [ 6 ]
Man: Yes, I prefer those who wait 19%  19%  [ 10 ]
Woman: Definitely not, would be a deal breaker and waste of time 7%  7%  [ 4 ]
Woman: I could wait 3-4 months but not till marriage 9%  9%  [ 5 ]
Woman: I would consider it 7%  7%  [ 4 ]
Woman: Not my ideal situation but yeah 7%  7%  [ 4 ]
Woman: Yes, I prefer those who wait 7%  7%  [ 4 ]
Total votes : 54

rdos
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13 May 2017, 9:56 am

Kiriae wrote:
When you buy a car you get a test ride. Why don't you "test ride" the person you are planning to spend your whole life with?


Perhaps because sex is a pretty low mechanical instinct that everybody has the same version of? The only differences really are based on experience, experience it is perfectly possibly to build with just anybody, including somebody you just got married to.

It's personality-traits that contain diversity, and things that cannot easily be changed. Everybody is able to have sex unless they have physical issues.



Kiriae
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13 May 2017, 1:56 pm

rdos wrote:
Kiriae wrote:
When you buy a car you get a test ride. Why don't you "test ride" the person you are planning to spend your whole life with?


Perhaps because sex is a pretty low mechanical instinct that everybody has the same version of? The only differences really are based on experience, experience it is perfectly possibly to build with just anybody, including somebody you just got married to.

It's personality-traits that contain diversity, and things that cannot easily be changed. Everybody is able to have sex unless they have physical issues.


People differ more than just personality.
If you happen to be touch undersensitive you won't go well with someone touch oversensitive no matter what. The undersensitive one won't feel a thing but the oversensitive one will be traumatized. Especially if both go by their "low mechanical instinct".
Also if the girl is very tight and the boy happens to be rewarded generously sex will not only be painful but might even end up impossible.
Not to mention people during sex produce a lot of fresh sweat and other smelly bodily fluids - and everyone has their individual smell. If you happen to hate the smell of the person you won't be able to enjoy sex with them even if you like them a lot on mental level. Especially if you happen to be smell oversensitive.

Those kind of differences cannot be fixed by just gaining experience.

Not to mention some people want to have sex more and some less often and there are also a lot of kinks that might be a strong turn on for one and strong turn off for another. Let's say one person loves touching and kissing feet and the other one finds it so disgusting just the thought of kissing feet makes them puke. You get the idea.



QuillAlba
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13 May 2017, 2:17 pm

As adults in a modern age, we should live together before marriage, it seems foolish not to.

Always check what is inside the box before you buy it.



rdos
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13 May 2017, 2:30 pm

Kiriae wrote:
If you happen to be touch undersensitive you won't go well with someone touch oversensitive no matter what. The undersensitive one won't feel a thing but the oversensitive one will be traumatized. Especially if both go by their "low mechanical instinct".


I think you can discover that without having sex, like when hugging or touching in general.

Kiriae wrote:
Also if the girl is very tight and the boy happens to be rewarded generously sex will not only be painful but might even end up impossible.


Maybe you can make a measure? :mrgreen:

Kiriae wrote:
Not to mention people during sex produce a lot of fresh sweat and other smelly bodily fluids - and everyone has their individual smell. If you happen to hate the smell of the person you won't be able to enjoy sex with them even if you like them a lot on mental level. Especially if you happen to be smell oversensitive.


You'll notice that too by simply being close to them, sharing the same bed without having sex.

Kiriae wrote:
Not to mention some people want to have sex more and some less often


Sex is addictive, so I think that mostly comes down to experience. The more you have it, the more you crave it, and the reverse.

Kiriae wrote:
and there are also a lot of kinks that might be a strong turn on for one and strong turn off for another. Let's say one person loves touching and kissing feet and the other one finds it so disgusting just the thought of kissing feet makes them puke. You get the idea.


Experience and personality. If you are matched on personality, you are likely matched on that too.



PatrickJane
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13 May 2017, 3:05 pm

Well, since i'm interested in neither marriage nor sex, it would be a practical way of avoiding both.


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Chronos
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13 May 2017, 7:50 pm

Tim_Tex wrote:
Even though I am a Christian, it's a big deal-breaker for me.


How do you reconcile that with your christianity?



mattdj1985
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13 May 2017, 11:59 pm

I personally couldn't date someone who is waiting for marriage. I want to be sure that I am 100% compatible (including physically) with someone before tying the knot. Of course everyone has their own opinion on the matter.


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14 May 2017, 1:02 am

I want to wait till marriage because I see sex as being at your most vulnerable, and I think one should only share that with the people they really trust. When you marry someone before you have sex, you know they love you for more than just your equipment, so if that part ends up not being so good, you can either work it out or both agree to live without it. Also, my desire for sex is pretty much zero and likely to stay that way, and I don't want to date anyone who needs sex to survive because that would not be healthy for either of us.



ltcvnzl
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14 May 2017, 1:36 am

i voted no, but never know because it can be someone i love too much so who know? i don't like casual sex buti don't like neither to be so restrict about it.



Northeastern292
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14 May 2017, 11:33 am

1) Sex is fun and 2) you need premarital sex to determine sexual compatibility. If I'm going to spend the rest of my life having sex with one person I want to be sure that there's no question of compatibility. Also, I'm not against kids out of wedlock for the same reason.



Jacoby
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14 May 2017, 12:25 pm

I could but obviously it would have to be a relationship that I believe believe at least could lead to marriage. I'm not getting any anyways so waiting wouldn't be a problem.



RandomFox
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14 May 2017, 2:15 pm

I'm not a very sexual being, so I wouldn't mind waiting. The problems would start later if my husband wanted sex every day and I'd be like - erm, nah, leave me alone ffs. I wouldn't want that.

As mismatched sex drives play such a big role in relationship problems, I'd like to know before tying the knot what the other person's sex drive (or ideal frequency of sex if they don't know at all) and attitude to sex is. If we seemed compatible (low interest, but no sex-repulsion), I'd wait till marriage without any problems and deal with my occasional urges on my own ;)



ShadowProphet
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15 May 2017, 10:55 pm

No mainly because i'm horny as f*k so the sexual frustration would be on overdrive. It'd get so bad i'd probably start humping the weight machines when i'm going to the gym to relieve my sexual frustrations.



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16 May 2017, 6:37 am

I haven't made up my mind how I feel about marriage yet, but I'll repeat what I sain in another thread: sex before marriage is non-negotiable. Determining sexual compatibility or incompatibility is very important when selecting a mate. Entering into any kind of pair-bonding union, be it legal, economic or religious, without first thoroughly exploring each other intimately should be considered irresponsible bordering on negligence. It risks pitting the pursuit of sexual satisfaction against devotion to your spouse, and no one is walking away happy from that altercation.


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blue_bean
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16 May 2017, 9:15 am

I'm not the type to wait until marriage but if it were his wishes to wait I would consider them.
This is based on my opinion that you don't have to have sex with someone to determine your sexual compatibility with them.



rdos
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16 May 2017, 2:19 pm

Wolfram87 wrote:
Entering into any kind of pair-bonding union, be it legal, economic or religious, without first thoroughly exploring each other intimately should be considered irresponsible bordering on negligence. It risks pitting the pursuit of sexual satisfaction against devotion to your spouse, and no one is walking away happy from that altercation.


I disagree. If you are a person that don't need or want a lot of sex, then deciding not to have sex with a potential partner before marriage is one of the best compatibility-checks there is. Because, if they require a lot of sex, they won't be able to go through with that.