Are you happy with how your life is turning out?
You should just start writing it. A page a day. What have you got to lose?
For me, everything is going at such a slow pace. Wouldn't mind if things would speed up a little.
_________________
I'm a straight guy, '80s geek, and musician.
As a musical term for sure, "the '80s" imply the late '70s and early '90s. You can think of them as tapers of this golden decade.
Dang man. That's heavy. That last thing you said about your dream maybe just being to not be an embarrassment to your family. I feel that. Sometimes, when I feel genuine shame, it's over that same issue. I hate the idea of being an embarrassment to my family and in some ways, I kind of am. The worst part is feeling like an embarrassment to my niece and nephew. I so don't want them to be ashamed of me...even more so than the other adults in my family.
Thanks, I appreciate that.
_________________
" If I did THIS... would that mean anything to you? "
IstominFan...my life has become so angst-ridden and worrisome over the last year that the only thing that keeps me going is reminding myself how much everything can change so dramatically in a short time. A year from now, I hope I'm looking back on today writing this entry and thinking, "Thank God that time is over."
Good luck with whatever you're doing.
Dang man. That's heavy. That last thing you said about your dream maybe just being to not be an embarrassment to your family. I feel that. Sometimes, when I feel genuine shame, it's over that same issue. I hate the idea of being an embarrassment to my family and in some ways, I kind of am. The worst part is feeling like an embarrassment to my niece and nephew. I so don't want them to be ashamed of me...even more so than the other adults in my family.
Thanks, I appreciate that.
For me, it helps just to know that the pains that you have aren't happening to just you alone. But I don't want to just focus on the negative. Gotta try to stay positive and think positive. Just try and try and try to make good moves and do good things that are gonna help your life and those around you. We've got nothing to lose and nothing good comes from negativity. (I know, I'm talking to myself as much as I am to you)
I don't mean to sound like I'm trying to give you a peptalk, but I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. It's probably entirely aspergers. Some people with this condition seem to be able to find happiness but I think the majority are more like what you've described. I've been working my entire life but I'm no different. My work has never been appreciated by my coworkers or employers. I'm usually just taken advantage of by my willingness to work harder and do favors for people. No one ever interprets it as kindness or professionalism. They just find a negative connotation to attach it to, such as he just wants the overtime because he's greedy, or if I'm helping a coworker who is a lady, he'll say he's trying to get in her pants. I don't believe that we Aspies can "Be" A part of society in the same way that normal people can be. We can be a functioning part of society if we utilize our unique qualities such as hyper focusing, studying and the like. But it does often seem like we need to have a special talent or quality or level of intelligence in order to be accepted by them at all.
_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 91 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 107 of 200
You seem to have both neurodiverse and neurotypical traits
hm yeah, its alright
i sometimes wonder why there's not much fun anymore, we used to laugh lots, really lots
and motivation's gone, do one thing get two backlashes, that's getting old,
pains in joints, but i don't know, its even worse with warmth,
people are more pittoresk from a distance,
you can't make money with anything if you don't have a song&dance self-praisal around that,
if you have a big memory, its unbelievable how strange you are, in a world where that's outlandish
Vague à l’âme (not by me)
Et c’est à force de me taire
que je me parle à n’en finir.
Et c’est à force d’en pâtir
que je m’en gausse la première.
A quoi me sert de n’être poire ?
A quoi me sert froide raison ?
Je jette un caillou dans la mare
et je vois s’agrandir les ronds.
Campin_Cat
Veteran
Joined: 6 May 2014
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 25,953
Location: Baltimore, Maryland, U.S.A.
I'd say that, overall, I'm around 95 percent happy with my life, as I've accomplished a great deal----for instance, when I was a kid, I wanted to help people by being either a nurse or a teacher, and I have been successful at teaching, at various different times, throughout my life.
The remaining percentage mostly has to do with not having a proper job----there's just so many things I want to do, yet, in life----but, I continue to have faith / hope, that that will come.....
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White female; age 59; diagnosed Aspie.
I use caps for emphasis----I'm NOT angry or shouting. I use caps like others use italics, underline, or bold.
"What we know is a drop; what we don't know, is an ocean." (Sir Isaac Newton)
I relate to metaldanielle. I probably give myself a 10% happy with my life. I feel anxiety and depression drag me down. A different person would be very happy with my life. I got some of what I wanted in life when I thought about it as a child and I did not get other things. What I did get is very valuable to me and was better than I imagined it to be. I just feel, like metaldanielle, caught in a web of hell.
I am so sorry.
_________________
"Be kind to one another" -Ellen Degeneres
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