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Are you happy with how your life is turning out?

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TheWalrys435
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21 May 2017, 11:34 pm

IstominFan wrote:
I have a dream of writing the life story of Denis Istomin. I don't know who would read it, as he isn't as well known as the "Big Four" tennis players (Federer, Nadal, Djokovic, Murray), but it would be a fun project. I would like to introduce the world to a player who has been a big source of inspiration to me.


You should just start writing it. A page a day. What have you got to lose?



Muziek
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21 May 2017, 11:52 pm

For me, everything is going at such a slow pace. :| Wouldn't mind if things would speed up a little. :roll:


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TheWalrys435
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24 May 2017, 11:12 pm

Muziek wrote:
For me, everything is going at such a slow pace. :| Wouldn't mind if things would speed up a little. :roll:


You've gotta be young. I'd rather slow everything down...even go in reverse.



IstominFan
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25 May 2017, 9:01 am

I have been working just to get my life back on track for the last two months. In a week, that could possibly happen.



Brainfre3ze_93
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25 May 2017, 3:53 pm

TheWalrys435 wrote:
Brainfre3ze_93 wrote:
I said 25% happy with my life right now. I have a job right now(doesn't have great pay but it's something) Still in my parent's house(thankfully they're kind, and haven't kicked me out) Even if I wanted to live on my own, where would I go? Housing is so expensive right now. Even apartments are 800-900 dollars a month, which is practically my entire paycheck if not more. So I could pay for it, but I wouldn't have anything left to save. Life has not turned out like I thought it would, and I was not expecting much, to begin with, a few years ago it was worse.I was maybe 10% happy with my life I didn't have a job and was becoming depressed. So much so that I considered suicide ( I got help for it, but yeah I was not in a great place) I don't have any desire to have dreams, to be honest. Maybe not be a total embarrassment to my family, but who knows?


Dang man. That's heavy. That last thing you said about your dream maybe just being to not be an embarrassment to your family. I feel that. Sometimes, when I feel genuine shame, it's over that same issue. I hate the idea of being an embarrassment to my family and in some ways, I kind of am. The worst part is feeling like an embarrassment to my niece and nephew. I so don't want them to be ashamed of me...even more so than the other adults in my family.


Thanks, I appreciate that. :)


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TheWalrys435
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25 May 2017, 6:14 pm

IstominFan wrote:
I have been working just to get my life back on track for the last two months. In a week, that could possibly happen.


IstominFan...my life has become so angst-ridden and worrisome over the last year that the only thing that keeps me going is reminding myself how much everything can change so dramatically in a short time. A year from now, I hope I'm looking back on today writing this entry and thinking, "Thank God that time is over."

Good luck with whatever you're doing. :wink:



TheWalrys435
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25 May 2017, 6:23 pm

Brainfre3ze_93 wrote:
TheWalrys435 wrote:
Brainfre3ze_93 wrote:
I said 25% happy with my life right now. I have a job right now(doesn't have great pay but it's something) Still in my parent's house(thankfully they're kind, and haven't kicked me out) Even if I wanted to live on my own, where would I go? Housing is so expensive right now. Even apartments are 800-900 dollars a month, which is practically my entire paycheck if not more. So I could pay for it, but I wouldn't have anything left to save. Life has not turned out like I thought it would, and I was not expecting much, to begin with, a few years ago it was worse.I was maybe 10% happy with my life I didn't have a job and was becoming depressed. So much so that I considered suicide ( I got help for it, but yeah I was not in a great place) I don't have any desire to have dreams, to be honest. Maybe not be a total embarrassment to my family, but who knows?


Dang man. That's heavy. That last thing you said about your dream maybe just being to not be an embarrassment to your family. I feel that. Sometimes, when I feel genuine shame, it's over that same issue. I hate the idea of being an embarrassment to my family and in some ways, I kind of am. The worst part is feeling like an embarrassment to my niece and nephew. I so don't want them to be ashamed of me...even more so than the other adults in my family.


Thanks, I appreciate that. :)



For me, it helps just to know that the pains that you have aren't happening to just you alone. But I don't want to just focus on the negative. Gotta try to stay positive and think positive. Just try and try and try to make good moves and do good things that are gonna help your life and those around you. We've got nothing to lose and nothing good comes from negativity. (I know, I'm talking to myself as much as I am to you)



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26 May 2017, 12:36 am

TheWalrys435 wrote:
SentientPotato wrote:
At 32 I have no employment history, no romantic history and cannot operate a motor vehicle. On top of that, there's what I won't move on from, so while there are many many ways it could be worse, I am still not a productive member of society. Anyone is free to take from that what they will.



I don't mean to sound like I'm trying to give you a peptalk, but I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. It's probably entirely aspergers. Some people with this condition seem to be able to find happiness but I think the majority are more like what you've described. I've been working my entire life but I'm no different. My work has never been appreciated by my coworkers or employers. I'm usually just taken advantage of by my willingness to work harder and do favors for people. No one ever interprets it as kindness or professionalism. They just find a negative connotation to attach it to, such as he just wants the overtime because he's greedy, or if I'm helping a coworker who is a lady, he'll say he's trying to get in her pants. I don't believe that we Aspies can "Be" A part of society in the same way that normal people can be. We can be a functioning part of society if we utilize our unique qualities such as hyper focusing, studying and the like. But it does often seem like we need to have a special talent or quality or level of intelligence in order to be accepted by them at all.
Could be, couldn't be, I'm not sure. Unfortunately that's one of those answers I don't have, nor have I pursued yet. All I've got is a "maybe" from a teacher nearly 2 decades ago, and a tale of my mother apparently receiving too strong a dose of a certain medication when she was having an asthma attack while pregnant with me. Plus my statement lacks context really, as there could be many, many reasons I have not reached whatever potential I have.


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traven
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26 May 2017, 1:50 am

hm yeah, its alright
i sometimes wonder why there's not much fun anymore, we used to laugh lots, really lots
and motivation's gone, do one thing get two backlashes, that's getting old,
pains in joints, but i don't know, its even worse with warmth,
people are more pittoresk from a distance,
you can't make money with anything if you don't have a song&dance self-praisal around that,
if you have a big memory, its unbelievable how strange you are, in a world where that's outlandish

Vague à l’âme (not by me)

Et c’est à force de me taire
que je me parle à n’en finir.
Et c’est à force d’en pâtir
que je m’en gausse la première.

A quoi me sert de n’être poire ?
A quoi me sert froide raison ?
Je jette un caillou dans la mare
et je vois s’agrandir les ronds.



Campin_Cat
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26 May 2017, 10:45 am

I'd say that, overall, I'm around 95 percent happy with my life, as I've accomplished a great deal----for instance, when I was a kid, I wanted to help people by being either a nurse or a teacher, and I have been successful at teaching, at various different times, throughout my life.

The remaining percentage mostly has to do with not having a proper job----there's just so many things I want to do, yet, in life----but, I continue to have faith / hope, that that will come.....








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metaldanielle
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26 May 2017, 11:49 am

justkillingtime wrote:
metaldanielle wrote:
A couple months ago, I gave my therapist my monthly update on how my life was going and he was literally speechless. For context, he used to work at the VA, he's heard horror stories. My life is a nightmare. Every aspect of my life is screwed up and each issue blocks help to solve another and it's this tangled web of hell.


I relate to metaldanielle. I probably give myself a 10% happy with my life. I feel anxiety and depression drag me down. A different person would be very happy with my life. I got some of what I wanted in life when I thought about it as a child and I did not get other things. What I did get is very valuable to me and was better than I imagined it to be. I just feel, like metaldanielle, caught in a web of hell.


I am so sorry. :cry:


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