I'm scared of walking alone outside after 9pm
leejosepho
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Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,011
Location: 200 miles south of Little Rock
Agreed, but that does not change the fact that the presence of sexual predators is a fact that is likely nearly as old as mankind.
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I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
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Agreed, but that does not change the fact that the presence of sexual predators is a fact that is likely nearly as old as mankind.
We know that, and pointing it out to us repeatedly is not useful or helpful. If you have nothing helpful to contribute, how about getting out of this thread since it's in the Women's Discussion?
leejosepho
Veteran
Joined: 14 Sep 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,011
Location: 200 miles south of Little Rock
My apology to the OP: I had not realize I was in this part of the forums.
_________________
I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
==================================
awesome book: https://www.amazon.com/Gavin-Becker-Gif ... YZE6ZK419Z
The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker
The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker
I've been wanting to read that book. I heard a lot of good things about it.
If I'm in a deserted area, I won't go out alone after dark at all. But luckily I live in downtown Montreal where it's crowded, and when I go out at night I'm usually going for coffee with my friend anyway so I'm not alone. The McDonald's is open all night so I know where to go if I'm locked out of my apartment building with no bus money to get to my parents' place, but 1) I can just ring someone's doorbell anyway, and my friends will always let me in and 2) I'm never locked out of my building because I wear my keys on a string. Which I suppose someone could strangle me with, but I'm usually careful.
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,886
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
That has been a problem for many centuries now, and it is simple wisdom rather than sexism when someone such as myself might offer or volunteer to escort a woman from one point to another in order to try to help assure her safety. Some years ago it was common practice for some of us to be protective of women before, during and after our own A.A. meetings while they were on the public premises. There are places where both men and woman might either be safe or in danger, however, so gender is not always even an issue where sexual predators might be present.
What we need from men is not to be protected, what we need is for you to talk to other men when they exhibit sexist and predatory behaviour and tell them to cut it out,
Bad men are dangerous to other physically weaker men too, the truth is a stranger armless man wouldn't risk his life by confronting (ie. telling them to stop the behavior) a bigger/stronger male or even a gang of males, for the sake of a stranger woman in the street who's not his loved one, ie. neither his wife/gf nor his daughter/sister/friend ...etc, the best he can do is helping the harassment target to get away and call the police later on.
I recall I was walking with two female buddies in a shady neighborhood, and there was a group of 3 gangy-type guys leaning on the side wall started saying stupid things to them, I've just changed position myself to walk on the side where the guys were standing, they stopped talking when they've noticed that I am with them, and we simply ignored them and moved on.
Do you think it would have worked if I lectured to this type of people about how bad their behavior is? "Hey guys, please stop, this is a bad sexist beh-- ***Fists on my face** x_x.
I bet these guys don't even listen to their moms. Be realistic in what you demand.
Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 25 Jul 2017, 1:31 am, edited 3 times in total.
That has been a problem for many centuries now, and it is simple wisdom rather than sexism when someone such as myself might offer or volunteer to escort a woman from one point to another in order to try to help assure her safety. Some years ago it was common practice for some of us to be protective of women before, during and after our own A.A. meetings while they were on the public premises. There are places where both men and woman might either be safe or in danger, however, so gender is not always even an issue where sexual predators might be present.
What we need from men is not to be protected, what we need is for you to talk to other men when they exhibit sexist and predatory behaviour and tell them to cut it out,
Bad men are dangerous to other physically weaker men too, the truth is a stranger armless man wouldn't risk his life by confronting (ie. telling them to stop the behavior) a bigger/stronger male or even a gang of males, for the sake of a stranger woman in the street who's not his loved one, ie. neither his wife/gf nor his daughter/sister/friend ...etc, the best he can do is helping the harassment target to get away and call the police later on.
I recall I was walking with two female buddies in a shady neighborhood, and there was a group of 3 gangy-type guys leaning on the side wall started saying stupid things to them, I've just changed position myself to walk on the side where the guys were standing, they stopped talking when they've noticed that I am with them, and we simply ignored them and moved on.
Do you think it would have worked if I lectured to this type of people about how bad their behavior is? "Hey guys, please stop, this is a bad sexist beh-- ***Fists on my face** x_x.
I bet these guys don't even listen to their moms. Be realistic in what you demand.
If I tried that here in the Bible Belt, I'd get laughed at, get called a "p****" or a "fa***t", and then get punched in the face. At best, they would knock me out. At worst, I'd probably get killed. Even the women would probably call me a "mangina" or "nice guy" in the shaming way.
A lot of Bible Belt women also consider a sexist man to be "manly" and doing what God intended. The Bible Belt is a very backwards place for both genders.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,886
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
That has been a problem for many centuries now, and it is simple wisdom rather than sexism when someone such as myself might offer or volunteer to escort a woman from one point to another in order to try to help assure her safety. Some years ago it was common practice for some of us to be protective of women before, during and after our own A.A. meetings while they were on the public premises. There are places where both men and woman might either be safe or in danger, however, so gender is not always even an issue where sexual predators might be present.
What we need from men is not to be protected, what we need is for you to talk to other men when they exhibit sexist and predatory behaviour and tell them to cut it out,
Bad men are dangerous to other physically weaker men too, the truth is a stranger armless man wouldn't risk his life by confronting (ie. telling them to stop the behavior) a bigger/stronger male or even a gang of males, for the sake of a stranger woman in the street who's not his loved one, ie. neither his wife/gf nor his daughter/sister/friend ...etc, the best he can do is helping the harassment target to get away and call the police later on.
I recall I was walking with two female buddies in a shady neighborhood, and there was a group of 3 gangy-type guys leaning on the side wall started saying stupid things to them, I've just changed position myself to walk on the side where the guys were standing, they stopped talking when they've noticed that I am with them, and we simply ignored them and moved on.
Do you think it would have worked if I lectured to this type of people about how bad their behavior is? "Hey guys, please stop, this is a bad sexist beh-- ***Fists on my face** x_x.
I bet these guys don't even listen to their moms. Be realistic in what you demand.
If I tried that here in the Bible Belt, I'd get laughed at, get called a "p****" or a "fa***t", and then get punched in the face. At best, they would knock me out. At worst, I'd probably get killed. Even the women would probably call me a "mangina" or "nice guy" in the shaming way.
A lot of Bible Belt women also consider a sexist man to be "manly" and doing what God intended. The Bible Belt is a very backwards place for both genders.
I am 5'3 and they were like 6'0 and big; imagine what would have happened to me if I attempted to confront them; and I am no Bruce Lee.
We are also creatures who instinctively seek for survival.
That has been a problem for many centuries now, and it is simple wisdom rather than sexism when someone such as myself might offer or volunteer to escort a woman from one point to another in order to try to help assure her safety. Some years ago it was common practice for some of us to be protective of women before, during and after our own A.A. meetings while they were on the public premises. There are places where both men and woman might either be safe or in danger, however, so gender is not always even an issue where sexual predators might be present.
What we need from men is not to be protected, what we need is for you to talk to other men when they exhibit sexist and predatory behaviour and tell them to cut it out,
Bad men are dangerous to other physically weaker men too, the truth is a stranger armless man wouldn't risk his life by confronting (ie. telling them to stop the behavior) a bigger/stronger male or even a gang of males, for the sake of a stranger woman in the street who's not his loved one, ie. neither his wife/gf nor his daughter/sister/friend ...etc, the best he can do is helping the harassment target to get away and call the police later on.
I recall I was walking with two female buddies in a shady neighborhood, and there was a group of 3 gangy-type guys leaning on the side wall started saying stupid things to them, I've just changed position myself to walk on the side where the guys were standing, they stopped talking when they've noticed that I am with them, and we simply ignored them and moved on.
Do you think it would have worked if I lectured to this type of people about how bad their behavior is? "Hey guys, please stop, this is a bad sexist beh-- ***Fists on my face** x_x.
I bet these guys don't even listen to their moms. Be realistic in what you demand.
If I tried that here in the Bible Belt, I'd get laughed at, get called a "p****" or a "fa***t", and then get punched in the face. At best, they would knock me out. At worst, I'd probably get killed. Even the women would probably call me a "mangina" or "nice guy" in the shaming way.
A lot of Bible Belt women also consider a sexist man to be "manly" and doing what God intended. The Bible Belt is a very backwards place for both genders.
I am 5'3 and they were like 6'0 and big; imagine what would have happened to me if I attempted to confront them; and I am no Bruce Lee.
We are also creatures who instinctively seek for survival.
I'm 5'11 but my muscles are underdeveloped despite exercise. I wouldn't have done well either.
And unfortunately that is considered cowardly in a lot of cultures.
I see nothing sexist about walking with someone for protection; the personal safety advice we were always given in college was to go in a group and stay with the group. Sexual harassment and assault are crimes of opportunity; make yourself a hard target and you reduce your likelihood of being a victim.
That said-- It needs to be stressed, INFINITELY, that these are actions committed by selfish, weak, pathetic slimeballs lacking so much in self-control as to be lacking in humanity. There's nothing sexist about safety in numbers...
...but there is EVERYHTING sexist about the idea that a woman out alone, or after a certain hour, or dressed in a certain manner is "asking for it."
I was ALWAYS out alone (if I'd waited to have a group, I never would have gone anywhere or done anything). At all hours of the day and night. In the daytime, I took fewer pains to be aware of my surroundings, tried to make myself small, and was generally on edge because of all the people. And sure enough, if I was going to be harassed, it was going to be in a busy area in broad daylight. At night, I KNEW I was taking a risk. I stayed alert, scanned my surroundings constantly, and moved like I owned the place because I was in my element. Nobody even TRIED to cross me; the few people that approached to do so much as bum a light said "Please" and "Thank you" and got on about their business.
There is much to be said for what is taught in self-defense classes about body language, purposeful movement, and situational awareness.
_________________
"Alas, our dried voices when we whisper together are quiet and meaningless, as wind in dry grass, or rats' feet over broken glass in our dry cellar." --TS Eliot, "The Hollow Men"
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