Oblivious
xxZeromancerlovexx
Veteran
Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,901
Location: In my imagination
I've always been oblivious when it comes to my autism. Even when I was very young I didn't really notice that I was "different" than everyone else. People want to force "aspie pride" on me when really it's nothing for me to be proud of or ashamed of. It's there and I see no point in crying about it, obsessing over it or anything like that.
I'm not into whining or bragging about flaws. Flaws are just there and if I don't like them I do something about them. Being an "autism success story" is a very overrated term that neurotypicals use if you have autism and get through something. It's not like there are plenty of autistic people who get a high school diploma.
Are any of you oblivious to autism?
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“There’s a lesson that we learn
In the pages that we burn
It’s written in the ashes of the fire below”
-Down, The Birthday Massacre
I've ALWAYS known I was different. Being diagnosed has been a revelatory experience for me. I make sense to myself now.
Despite this, people are universally shocked to find out I'm autistic. Strangers do a double-take and friends have to like, digest the idea before they get used to it. I'm certainly not proud of my ability to pass, which I acquired while trying to function without understanding what I was doing, and has actually hurt my most important relationships, without exception. That's a setup for some serious meltdown territory.
If I'm proud of anything, I'm proud of... being many things the haters will tell you are impossible for autistic people? In spite of all the difficulty being autistic imposes. I'm a good husband and a good dad. To be those things I have to be cognizant of the ways in which I'm different, and to do many things on other people's terms. No one will do it for me, and no matter how motivated they are they will never totally get it.
When I was young Autism really wasn't something readily diagnosed. It really wasn't "a thing" in that not many were aware of it.
It really hasn't been until recent that it was recognized in adults, it seemed to focus more on the child Autism.
Did I know I was different? No, not really, so growing up I felt I was just lazy, stupid or any other of a number of negative adjectives. That's something that hasn't left me, not sure if it ever will. So did I know I was different? I also have dysthymia. Whether that's a cause, effect or unrelated I'll never know.
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Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
From what I can tell, about 3/4 or the people here are still oblivious.
You should take pride in your victory! You win! You get all the money you want plus free housing, food stamps, your own nurse and you even get the government to fly whoever you want to see you in for free! AND they get paid to come see you too! AND ON TOP OF THAT...Medicare Part D for the rest of your life!! !
GOOD JOB!
Now don't ruin it for anyone and start working or thinking! You get all the happy pills you want for life!! ! Start doing really weird things for no reason... he's one I'll give just to you... you can explain to America that "there is only one blade of Kudzu on the planet" okay???
And DON'T YOU DARE tell people the cause of Aspergers Syndrome... it MUST stay "an unknown cause" forever etc... for future Aspies to cash in on!
And NO!! ! I want the credit for curing cancer... just to add "Aspie" after my name... I am just waiting for the right time and it's not yet... And it's not that I am unethical either. I just want Obama to step up... does anyone know where Obama is these days? Hawaii??? I don't have that kind of money...
It really hasn't been until recent that it was recognized in adults, it seemed to focus more on the child Autism.
Did I know I was different? No, not really, so growing up I felt I was just lazy, stupid or any other of a number of negative adjectives. That's something that hasn't left me, not sure if it ever will. So did I know I was different? I also have dysthymia. Whether that's a cause, effect or unrelated I'll never know.
Since I was very young, I was told by my family that I am lazy, stupid, heartless, selfish etc. When I tried to express that social interaction is hard for me, and that I don't know how to talk to people, I was yelled at (blatantly denying everything I said). I didn't realise I was 'different' until I was 11 - I had not had any friends and didn't know how people usually were. It was not until I learnt about ASD (at 11) that I realised that most people understand how to talk to other people and interact in general, and that people who don't are 'different'.
And yes, being constantly told that I am stupid, lazy, selfish, heartless, arrogant etc. (to this day) has made me convinced on some basic level that I am a bad person whom nobody likes. My mother has told me that I'm selfish to think that people should accept me the way I am. My parents don't love me, they love the social, confident, neurotypical person they are convinced I could become if I just tried.
Sorry for the rant.
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Diagnosed: Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 without accompanying language impairment
I find it easiest to connect with people through the medium of fandoms, and enjoy the feeling of solidarity.
Too often, people say things they don't mean, and mean things they don't say.
You should take pride in your victory! You win! You get all the money you want plus free housing, food stamps, your own nurse and you even get the government to fly whoever you want to see you in for free! AND they get paid to come see you too! AND ON TOP OF THAT...Medicare Part D for the rest of your life!! !
GOOD JOB!
Now don't ruin it for anyone and start working or thinking! You get all the happy pills you want for life!! ! Start doing really weird things for no reason... he's one I'll give just to you... you can explain to America that "there is only one blade of Kudzu on the planet" okay???
And DON'T YOU DARE tell people the cause of Aspergers Syndrome... it MUST stay "an unknown cause" forever etc... for future Aspies to cash in on!
And NO!! ! I want the credit for curing cancer... just to add "Aspie" after my name... I am just waiting for the right time and it's not yet... And it's not that I am unethical either. I just want Obama to step up... does anyone know where Obama is these days? Hawaii??? I don't have that kind of money...
I don't understand your intent.
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Diagnosed: Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 without accompanying language impairment
I find it easiest to connect with people through the medium of fandoms, and enjoy the feeling of solidarity.
Too often, people say things they don't mean, and mean things they don't say.
Although I was diagnosed at 3, I didn't find out about my Autism diagnosis until I was about 12 or 13. I never really thought I was different until then, but I always noticed that people treated me differently than they treated others my age. I didn't really understand my diagnosis until a few years ago. Many of my Autism traits are things I don't notice and trying to hide them only makes it worse and I've come to find that I'm better off just being myself and coping with that.
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"Have you never seen something so mad, so extraordinary... That just for one second, you think that there might be more out there?" -Gwen Cooper, Torchwood
I remember going in for some testing at the age of 5. I wasn't told about my autism until I was 15. I wish that my parents would have told me when I was 10. I wish that I was told as soon as I turned 10. That would have saved me a lot of family and social hardship. I was told at the age of 15, but I felt that it was too late. I made most of my social mistakes from the ages 10 through 14. Mistakes that I wouldn't have made if I was told that I was autistic.
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Who wants to adopt a Sweet Pea?
Did I know I was different? Not really. I felt like the black sheep of the family - lazy, anti-social, shy, "difficult". I was frequently told I was difficult and I'm still reminded of that by my mom. Gee.. thanks.
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Aspie score: 137 of 200
NT score: 78 of 200
Result: very likely neurodiverse