Page 1 of 1 [ 2 posts ] 

ltcvnzl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2017
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,311
Location: brazil

21 May 2017, 1:48 pm

A lot of time people did small stuff against me that triggers bad reactions because my life is messed up. I never know exactly how to react about them with this, partially, I think it's unfair to deem them guilty, as they aren't responsible for the big picture, but if it's all a sum of small things, so nobody can be really responsible for anything?

One small example, I used to be part of an online group of girls who draw, there was a general feeling of everyone being nice and friendly, but I always felt a bit apart from it – which is a feeling that I felt all my life. We often did a draw where we should make a drawing to each other, I always made my part, and I never got any drawing back. Once we made a special draw where we should make a gift to send by mail to someone, I also didn't receive anything. A few other girls went thru same situation, I don't know who is for them but for me it was awful. I liked the group, but I resent too much because I feel it triggered a lot of feeling of rejection and also image issues. But am I being fair? It wasn't everyone in the group that did this for me, and even the ones who did, how could they know it could trigger some issue and this would be a repeated pattern?



TheWalrys435
Raven
Raven

Joined: 22 Jan 2017
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 108
Location: USA

23 May 2017, 8:46 pm

ltcvnzl wrote:
A lot of time people did small stuff against me that triggers bad reactions because my life is messed up. I never know exactly how to react about them with this, partially, I think it's unfair to deem them guilty, as they aren't responsible for the big picture, but if it's all a sum of small things, so nobody can be really responsible for anything?

One small example, I used to be part of an online group of girls who draw, there was a general feeling of everyone being nice and friendly, but I always felt a bit apart from it – which is a feeling that I felt all my life. We often did a draw where we should make a drawing to each other, I always made my part, and I never got any drawing back. Once we made a special draw where we should make a gift to send by mail to someone, I also didn't receive anything. A few other girls went thru same situation, I don't know who is for them but for me it was awful. I liked the group, but I resent too much because I feel it triggered a lot of feeling of rejection and also image issues. But am I being fair? It wasn't everyone in the group that did this for me, and even the ones who did, how could they know it could trigger some issue and this would be a repeated pattern?



It sounds to me like it might be normal Aspergers stuff. I don't know if you interact with these people aside from the drawings being exchanged, but I do know that neuro-typical people tend to react kind of badly to aspies as natural policy for them. I call the natural way that we act, "aspie quirks". There is that multitude of normal human interaction that we seem to miss almost all the time, and it turns the NTs away from us as friends or whatever. I'm just offering my opinion. I've been through similar things to what you're describing but I don't know you or your specifics obviously. But in my aspie life, I have tried very hard over 40 years of life to fit in with "normal" people and it seems that it's just not really in the cards. Maybe these other girls had other people they were exchanging with or whatever it was. But if it were me in the same situation, I wouldn't be surprised by the same result.
It hurts like hell to not fit in. I hate to say, but it doesn't really go away. I'm happy to have the few people who I am closer with who I can sort of feel like a part of things with. I don't expect it from the masses of normal people. In my experiences though...and it's been so many...is that getting angry never makes it better. I'm not saying I always practice what I preach and don't still get mad at the way people treat me, but I lose when I act on that anger just about every single time. Just to answer your question, it could be that they are just ignoring you and it is pretty jerk of them to do so. It's not the way I treat people. But it's real life. Better thing in my opinion is just to accept that they're not responding to you and move on to something else. Anger does awful things inside and out.