"Never talk to me again"

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futuresoldier1944
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22 May 2017, 8:29 pm

jrjones9933 wrote:

However, as frustrating as people find it, our actions get judged by their impact, not by our intent.

I'll add a saying that has served me well: the first step in getting out of a hole is to stop digging.

And I've dug myself a pretty big hole with my friend. One which I'm not sure that I will be ever be able to dig myself out of, but I can always hope.

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22 May 2017, 8:30 pm

JohnnyLurg wrote:

If someone tells you to never speak to them again, is it a bad idea to apologize to them? Could they get you in legal trouble just for apologizing?

no, definitely not. if you and a friend had a huge falling out, there's no reason not to apologize and seek out proper closure. but make sure you do so in a socially acceptable manner. they will want their space and they will probably truly want to be left alone. but there's no harm in owning up to your mistakes, apologizing and trying to seek closure or mend the relationship. if it isn't mutual though, that's something you have to respect - you can't force them to feel the same way.

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old_comedywriter
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22 May 2017, 8:34 pm

JohnnyLurg wrote:

If someone tells you to never speak to them again, is it a bad idea to apologize to them? Could they get you in legal trouble just for apologizing?

I'm a cynic today.

Write them off. You don't need that hassle, especially if that person is female and under 30.

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futuresoldier1944
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22 May 2017, 8:45 pm

old_comedywriter wrote:

JohnnyLurg wrote:

If someone tells you to never speak to them again, is it a bad idea to apologize to them? Could they get you in legal trouble just for apologizing?

I'm a cynic today.

Write them off. You don't need that hassle, especially if that person is female and under 30.

Ha Ha! That's a good one! But on the other hand, what if the sex with her was really good? lol

jrjones9933
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22 May 2017, 8:50 pm

futuresoldier1944 wrote:

old_comedywriter wrote:

JohnnyLurg wrote:

If someone tells you to never speak to them again, is it a bad idea to apologize to them? Could they get you in legal trouble just for apologizing?

I'm a cynic today.

Write them off. You don't need that hassle, especially if that person is female and under 30.

Ha Ha! That's a good one! But on the other hand, what if the sex with her was really good? lol

Then the logical conclusion is to trade penitence for douchiness? I don't follow.

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futuresoldier1944
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22 May 2017, 8:54 pm

jrjones9933 wrote:

futuresoldier1944 wrote:

old_comedywriter wrote:

JohnnyLurg wrote:

If someone tells you to never speak to them again, is it a bad idea to apologize to them? Could they get you in legal trouble just for apologizing?

I'm a cynic today.

Write them off. You don't need that hassle, especially if that person is female and under 30.

Ha Ha! That's a good one! But on the other hand, what if the sex with her was really good? lol

Then the logical conclusion is to trade penitence for douchiness? I don't follow.

It was only a joke! lol

jrjones9933
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22 May 2017, 8:58 pm

futuresoldier1944 wrote:

It was only a joke! lol

Let's make sure OP sees that.

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League_Girl
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23 May 2017, 2:04 am

JohnnyLurg wrote:

If someone tells you to never speak to them again, is it a bad idea to apologize to them? Could they get you in legal trouble just for apologizing?

Why would you get in legal trouble for apologizing to them? Unless they have a restraining order against you, you're good to go. You are not going to get into legal trouble just for contacting them to apologize and it will be up to them about what they want to do with that apology or if they even want to hear it when you call them or see them again. If you sent them a text or emailed them about it, it would be up to them if they want to read it or not.

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League_Girl
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23 May 2017, 2:05 am

JohnnyLurg wrote:

redrobin62 wrote:

I wouldn't apologize. I'm actually good for my word. If someone tells me to never speak to them again, I'll carve that in stone and make it so. They'll never hear another peep out of Robin.

Re: legal trouble. This would happen only if they've filed an order of protection/no contact order against you and you decide to talk to them again.

They could still report you to the police for harassment.

I don't think the police will do s**t about it. It's just an apology lol.

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League_Girl
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23 May 2017, 2:10 am

futuresoldier1944 wrote:

jrjones9933 wrote:

There are many aspies more judgmental than I, and many less so. I don't like your tone, either.

I said no one owes you forgiveness. You disagreed, right? The sincerity of your contrition might elicit forgiveness, and I absolutely advocate expressing sincere contrition where appropriate. I do not consider it appropriate to impose an apology on an unwilling recipient. Other people get the right to their personal space JUST LIKE YOU DO.

I'm sorry that you don't like my tone. I wasn't trying to intentionally offend you. In fact, I rarely try to intentionally offend people. And my contritions to my friend were totally sincere, or at least they were in my opinion. However, none of my sincere apologies have moved my friend. I have also tried to give him the personal space that I was inconsiderate of earlier, if only unintentionally, but he still hasn't responded in kind. It's not just that he doesn't understand me, which I completely get. I don't really understand him either. But it's like he doesn't want to understand me or listen to me, which is so frustrating for me to wrap my mind around. Because I want to understand him and learn more about him if he would only let me.

You could be harassing him if you keep on messaging him. Only apologize once and explain your intentions and if you don't hear from him, move on. That is the best approach to do. The rest is up to your "friend."

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jrjones9933
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25 May 2017, 5:48 pm

Just this morning, I made a business phone call to someone who had made a mistake. He said to me, "You gotta forgive me, because..." I remained professional, but inside I said, "No, dude, i don't have to forgive you."

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JohnnyLurg
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25 May 2017, 9:51 pm

League_Girl wrote:

JohnnyLurg wrote:

redrobin62 wrote:

They could still report you to the police for harassment.

I don't think the police will do s**t about it. It's just an apology lol.

I wish I could think that myself, but I wished a girl happy birthday once and she reported me to the police and lied to them that I creeped into her house or something like that.

Belushi87
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26 May 2017, 3:52 am

why would you get in legal trouble for apologizing?

RandomFox
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26 May 2017, 2:11 pm

I remember that years ago someone was explaining to me that if a person says "do not ever speak to me again" they might not actually mean it... I was really confused
If something like that got out of my mouth I'd be 100% sure I don't want them to speak to me again, ever. You can try to apologize, but apology might not get accepted, so prepare for it.

futuresoldier1944
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26 May 2017, 2:13 pm

RandomFox wrote:

I remember that years ago someone was explaining to me that if a person says "do not ever speak to me again" they might not actually mean it... I was really confused

If something like that got out of my mouth I'd be 100% sure I don't want them to speak to me again, ever. You can try to apologize, but apology might not get accepted, so prepare for it.

Well it just depends on the person and the situation. And the person who says that might have some kind of deep-seated issues that the other person on the receiving end may not be fully aware of.

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