How do you deal with a breakup?

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Just last night I decided to break up with this guy I've been dating for only 3 weeks. We fell in love with each other, but he just seems to be another typical NT guy; just like all the other guys I've been with. You would think I would learn by now. You see, I'm an alcoholic and drug addict and he's also a drug addict, but not an alcoholic. So he still likes to drink, even though I've told him that I don't want him to. I gave him one last chance not to drink and what does he do? Hangs out with his friends and drinks. He thinks it's not a big deal that he had a few beers. First he said two, then it turned into a few. I tried to explain to him that him drinking is a trigger for me. All I have to do is smell it on his breath and I get triggered. Anyway, now I'm avoiding him and it's causing me all this anxiety. He's been trying to call me, text me, come to my room to talk to me, but I want nothing to do with him anymore. This is exactly what I was afraid was going to happen when I first started getting involved with him. This exact same thing happened with the guy previous to him in the same nursing home. I think I may be a sex and love addict, because I always want sex and crave attention from men. I love the high I feel whenever I fall in love with someone and I get very emotionally attached and clingy. I feel like if I'm with a guy, that emptiness I always feel gets filled and I feel complete, like I'm truly loved. But then I discover that the guy doesn't really love me and I don't really love him. I have abandonment issues, too. I don't want the guy to go anywhere without me, and when I'm not with him, I get very depressed. So, I guess the solution to that would be to not get into a relationship in the first place, right? I've told myself before that I'm done with men and that I can't trust them anymore. I don't know. Can anyone help me out here? What do I do if I run into him again? Should I just ignore him? Should I give him a piece of my mind?

Maybe it would help to be a little more up-front and assertive with what you are looking for. I mean there are guys out there who don't drink...maybe make it more clear you've given up alcohol due to alcoholism and can't be around it so would prefer guys who don't drink. Also not sure if you end up having sex early on or not, but can also help to get to know them a bit first, like spend time with them without having sex first...that way you can weed out guys just looking for a hook up, or guys who might not actually end up being compatible.

Also I'd say you should let him know it is over with...sure he may not like that but I think ghosting is even worse, having been on the receiving end of it. Just tell him its not working out or something, and if he won't accept that block him or whatever...but he's probably still trying to contact you because he doesn't know its for sure over or not. So I do recommend you tell him.

it sounds like dating and intimacy/sex is a bad coping mechanism for you, and i know you're totally aware of that. rewiring oneself isn't easy but since you can identify your problems and their inputs/outputs to a substantial degree you're doing well so far.

this guy is definitely not safe for you to be with because of the alcohol problem, the fact that he is also a drug addict (although whether both or either of you are using or not could make it different), your issue with attachment/abandonment, and emptiness without intense but short lived relationships.

can you explain to him why you can't be with him for these self-heath reasons? it would probably be better than ignoring him or "giving him a piece of your mind" which i can only assume would be an angry affair. if you end it like that running into him randomly later on wouldn't be so bad.