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Overpowering desire to Run Away

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wrongcitizen
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24 May 2017, 1:17 am

Do any of you, or have any of you, experienced crushing feelings of loneliness and desire to escape? Escape your house and your system? I love my country a LOT, and I love my family a LOT, but this isn't working for me. I would hate to burden them with this, but I need to do it. I want to get into my car and drive in a direction and starve somewhere. Sorry for how dramatic it sounds, I don't care much. I'm not going to do it though, because I'm an overly logical damn coward.

I'm drained, every day I'm getting pressured and pestered by people. They like to insult and attack, and they like my reactions. I'm a quiet talker but I'm trying to change that, so I can really piss some people off and giving as*holes what they deserve. They cause problems for all of us who don't want any of it.

I want to run away into forests somewhere. I'm OBSESSED with building my own forts to weather attacks. I want to build a fortress in some location, or just be a wanderer who doesn't settle down. But do people like this really exist? No of course not, because we're damn humans sadly. Where is the other intelligent life? Everyone likes to congregate into bubbles and fill their lives with social norms and war.

So what do you think? Do you have a very pervasive desire to run away?



Alita
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24 May 2017, 1:50 am

wrongcitizen wrote:
Do any of you, or have any of you, experienced crushing feelings of loneliness and desire to escape? Escape your house and your system? I love my country a LOT, and I love my family a LOT, but this isn't working for me. I would hate to burden them with this, but I need to do it. I want to get into my car and drive in a direction and starve somewhere. Sorry for how dramatic it sounds, I don't care much. I'm not going to do it though, because I'm an overly logical damn coward.

I'm drained, every day I'm getting pressured and pestered by people. They like to insult and attack, and they like my reactions. I'm a quiet talker but I'm trying to change that, so I can really piss some people off and giving as*holes what they deserve. They cause problems for all of us who don't want any of it.

I want to run away into forests somewhere. I'm OBSESSED with building my own forts to weather attacks. I want to build a fortress in some location, or just be a wanderer who doesn't settle down. But do people like this really exist? No of course not, because we're damn humans sadly. Where is the other intelligent life? Everyone likes to congregate into bubbles and fill their lives with social norms and war.

So what do you think? Do you have a very pervasive desire to run away?


Yes. This is exactly how I felt before I moved out. Just wanting to get in my car, drive somewhere far away and sit and starve, exactly as you say. First chance I had, I escaped to a shack without electricity on the other side of the world because it was free lodging, as it belonged to my parents at the time. It wasn't much fun, but in the midst of it, I discovered what I was put on this earth for. I came back with a new hope, a new goal, and a new determination to achieve it.

I'm sorry for what you've been through. My advice to you would be not to worry about the forest fortress for now. Just find a place that has electricity and running water, where you can support yourself and become independent. In time, you will get the resources you need to achieve your dream (it sounds like it's living off the grid, which is an awesome thing to shoot for). Unless, of course, you already have those resources now, in which case, go do it, mate! :D


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Dear_one
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24 May 2017, 7:03 am

One guy did build a 3-storey log castle in Canada by himself. These days, it is called going off-grid, and the "preppers" faction of the movement builds strong defences and fewer gardens, etc. In general, the fewer neighbours you have, the less the average sociability, so there's a range where you can select your comfort zone. For me, it is between 4 and 8 hours a week of dealing with people except for one special friend.



PhoenixRain
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26 May 2017, 4:41 pm

wrongcitizen wrote:
Do any of you, or have any of you, experienced crushing feelings of loneliness and desire to escape? Escape your house and your system? I love my country a LOT, and I love my family a LOT, but this isn't working for me. I would hate to burden them with this, but I need to do it. I want to get into my car and drive in a direction and starve somewhere. Sorry for how dramatic it sounds, I don't care much. I'm not going to do it though, because I'm an overly logical damn coward.

I'm drained, every day I'm getting pressured and pestered by people. They like to insult and attack, and they like my reactions. I'm a quiet talker but I'm trying to change that, so I can really piss some people off and giving as*holes what they deserve. They cause problems for all of us who don't want any of it.

I want to run away into forests somewhere. I'm OBSESSED with building my own forts to weather attacks. I want to build a fortress in some location, or just be a wanderer who doesn't settle down. But do people like this really exist? No of course not, because we're damn humans sadly. Where is the other intelligent life? Everyone likes to congregate into bubbles and fill their lives with social norms and war.

So what do you think? Do you have a very pervasive desire to run away?


Did you travel back in time to my teenage self and read my mind? This is exactly how I felt when I was still living with my family. I had many more anger issues, more misophonia issues, intense depression, and the desperate need to get away so much so that one time I was so upset that I drove my car to my (then) boyfriend's house and slept in my car in front of his house overnight. (Both our parents are very strict Christians and don't allow sleepovers unless you're married).

I'm not sure if it was just the people I was living with at the time, but I'm a much calmer person now (though I have been on antidepressants for several years now as well), and I live in a large quiet house with my husband (who was the boyfriend at the time of the story). I didn't do well in apartment life though, due to my misophonia. We moved into a house a year into our marriage.


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burnt_orange
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26 May 2017, 11:41 pm

I do. I dream of living in the woods alone, not dependent on anyone.

In some respects I have ran away many times. I have fled relationships and countries. Now that I'm older though, I see there is no use in running. It is more painful in the long run. I know I must deal with my problems as they are. Because you can't run away from your problems. They will follow.