Please read. Possible mistreatment?

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I am posting again to try and get some help. I would appreciate some advice.

Hi! I am in the state of New Hampshire.

It's very long but please read.
I'm not sure how to even start asking about this but I'll try. I am not sure if I have been mistreated on my most recent hospital stay. I signed myself yesterday afternoon.

I signed myself out because during my individual meeting with the psychiatrist I started telling him how I didn't think my life is going well and I get very depressed and have burned and he looked down at my hand and said that he's not buying my story because I didn't have marks. Before that he proceeded to tell me that I have a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder and he always knew I did. I had also been hospitalized with this same doctor previously. I was never told about this diagnosis and started to get very upset then he says, "See! You're not that shy mousy girl you were before. See!" , as if I was lying.
I feel very upset and I am not sure if I've been mistreated but I don't feel like community mental health is for me. I was wondering if there's anywhere I could go as far as a formal diagnosis of a spectrum disorder in the state of NH because I feel as though I cannot trust this team with my diagnosis. This psychiatrist also works at the same mental health facility I used to go to before I was transferred for care somewhere else due to new catchment areas.

As far as I knew, my diagnoses were major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder and Spectrum disorder (my spectrum diagnosis was done informally by someone who works there but not a specialist)
Before those diagnoses, it was dissociative something disorder, then they changed it after evaluations to the 3 disorders I gave.
During my telemedicine interview in the ER the lady at the place I used to go said it was written down as the dissociative disorder something-or-other.

I was also nervous to take one of my new meds. I have severe anxiety with pills. He told me if I did not take the ill he would discharge me. I signed myself in but thought I had the right to refuse the pill and perhaps try a different one and have the staff help me work through my anxieties. I decided to just sign myself out.
I don't know if I've explained this well, I'm overly emotional and upset. I don't know what to do and I don't know if I have been mistreated.
Everyone is free to answer this.

Here is an excerpt from some research available on PUBMED which will go some way to answering your questions.

In the research process, the major themes in misdiagnosis which AS women reported are detailed below. What you have experienced happens to many; you are far from alone. The kind of (misdiagnosis + missed diagnosis) which happened to you is a systemic issue which reflects the current state of poor understanding on the part of the medical profession. I am sorry you went through the painful process of being discounted and disbelieved. Many of us have been there too.

By the way, "Disassociative Disorder" is the currently used medical label for what was previously called Multiple Personality Disorder. The misdiagnosis of DD which accompanied the missed diagnosis of AS is one of the most common themes found in the research:

Excerpt - the major themes AS women reported to the researchers:

“You’re not autistic”

This theme included reported experiences of autistic difficulties being ignored and misunderstood, perceived reasons for this, and beliefs about the implications of having received a late diagnosis. Almost all the young women reported having experienced one or more mental health difficulty, with anxiety, depression and eating disorder being the most commonly reported. Most participants commented that health professionals treating them had not noticed their symptoms might be related to ASC:

“Four to five years of depression and anxiety treatment…years of talking therapy…and not once did anyone suggest I had anything other than depression”.

Even when participants had begun to suspect that they might have ASC, for example after suggestions from friends or family members, when they approached health professionals, their concerns were often dismissed. After having researched ASC and decided to pursue a diagnosis from their family doctor (in the UK called a ‘general practitioner’ [GP]), five participants reported that their GPs had dismissed their concerns and did not offer further assessment. Others reported being misdiagnosed:

“You go to your doctor…and you get diagnosed with multiple personality disorder which is completely opposite to what you are.”

In contrast, there were two exceptional cases of a speedy diagnosis: both young women had been immediately referred for assessment after presenting to their GPs who had recognised signs of autism in their behaviours.In most cases, young women thought that their delay in receiving a diagnosis was partially due to a lack of professional knowledge of how autism presents specifically in females:

“When I mentioned the possibility to my psychiatric nurse she actually laughed at me…I asked my mum, who was a GP at the time…if she thought I was autistic. She said, ‘Of course not’. At the time, a good 10 years ago now, there just wasn’t much information about how girls presented, and from what she knew, I was nothing of the sort.”

Participants also suggested that a stereotype that people with ASC all have very severe and overt social and communication problems added to professionals’ reluctance to diagnose females who showed some capacity, albeit superficial, to socialise with others. Young women also felt that ‘Rain Man’ (P03) stereotypes, which incorrectly assume that ASC is always associated with savant skills and with an interest in mathematics and science, had delayed their diagnoses.

“I’ll always remember my special needs teacher saying I’m too poor at maths to be autistic.”

Here is a link to the full research report: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5040731/
The short title is "Experiences of Late Diagnosed Women on the Autistic Spectrum".

The website for the Autistic Women's Network has a lot of links and information which you may find useful.

I hope things go much better for you from now on. Let us know how you get on.

I think you seen a sh***y psychiatrist. This is not a reflection of who you are or your problems. It is his problem and he shouldn't talk to distressed patients that way. You are not an experiment.

I don't know about your state or health care options but I advise you to see someone else.