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Simon01
Raven
Raven

Joined: 21 Jan 2017
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 115
Location: San Antonio, Tx

27 May 2017, 7:31 pm

The testing I was supposed to go in for a couple of weeks ago was postponed until early July. I'm still optimistic about it though- the initial session with the psychiatrist last month went a lot better than the last time I saw a psychiatrist, so I know I'm on track to finally getting a diagnosis and real treatment.

One thing that's been pointed out to me is that being diagnosed with Asperger's might pose some problems, because some people focus on stereotypes about autism rather than seeing someone doing relatively well but having some problems in certain areas. It's also been pointed out that it's possible I might not actually be on the spectrum despite exhibiting traits such as sensory issues. The way I see it is that being diagnosed means getting treated and having something tangible to work with. I've always been careful not to self-diagnose- I've researched it and see that I have quite a few things in common with what I've read, and a lot of habits have turned out to be possible ways I was dealing with sensory issues without realizing it, such as needing to listen to music on a headset when I've been out someplace or really uncomfortable outside on a sunny day, or in a brightly lit room, and stressed if I'm in a noisy or crowded place for too long. And interests being seen as too much or obsessive by some people.

The big differences: My problems with social skills never have been as pervasive as a lot of the info states as the "norm" for aspies. I've had the strange experience of having good friends, being in good standing with the majority of the people I know, and at the same time having conflicts with some people over perceived inappropriate behavior on my part or missing social cues, and it's always been confusing because it's a few people people acting outraged over something that no one else had issues with, or is a gross distortion of an honest mistake or faux pax that most people would simply allow apologies to be made and we'd all move on.

I admit that my interests at times have gotten out of hand, but have never been the obsession some people have claimed, and in fact over the years my geeky interests have actually been why I've been good friends with people over the years- despite some awkwardness at times, I've just gravitated towards like-minded people. The supposed problem with me having geeky or intellectual interests has been more of a made-up problem by the few people I've encountered that feel compelled to attack anyone that's different. When I was younger there were weird situations where I'd be doing relatively well in school and socially doing well, only to come home to my parents complaining about all the "problems" I was having, and harping about poor social skills to the point of coaching me on how not to be weird when my friends were visiting- basically telling me in front of fellow geeks that no one wants to hear me talk about space or sci fi! We didn't know about Aspergers or other learning disabilities in the 80s when I was in middle and high school, but I think my parents read something about autism, and saw that I was doing some things that autistic kids do, and deciding to "attack" habits and interests that until that point, weren't a problem.

I'm hoping that a diagnosis doesn't dredge up old crap between myself and my family, and that my parents get it that this is for me, not for them to dust off old arguments about my odd but harmless behaviors, and definitely not for them to try to claim some special right to comment on my private life or hope that some authority figure finally makes me clean my apartment because they're still upset that I didn't clean my room when I was 15 ;-)

Seriously though, even without a diagnosis, I'm feeling more in control as I learn how my situation works, like understanding that some of the social skill problems are caused by sensory overload- feeling excited or stressed and driven to talk too much, and nowadays figuring out how to go the other direction and not feel like I need to force myself to talk. Or being more aware of when focusing is a problem at the moment and knowing to take a break from something I'm working on, rather than feel rushed all the time. I'm hoping with treatment things will be even easier to deal with- I know I definitely need meds for bipolar, ADHD, and depression, and combining that with techniques for dealing with Asperger's will really be a huge step forward towards finally doing a lot of things I've been trying to do for years, like finally applying what I've learned about computer graphics to actually creating and hopefully making money later on doing something I know I can enjoy. :-)