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ltcvnzl
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27 May 2017, 8:08 pm

When I was younger, things weren't great but I had some hope at some point it would improve, but it didn't. Now I'm in a path I'm definitely not happy with, but I have no idea what I want and how I can change it.



Sweetleaf
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27 May 2017, 9:20 pm

ltcvnzl wrote:
When I was younger, things weren't great but I had some hope at some point it would improve, but it didn't. Now I'm in a path I'm definitely not happy with, but I have no idea what I want and how I can change it.


That is very close to how I felt at that age actually...I mean I am only 27 now but I am doing a lot better than my earlier 20's. What kind of path are you on you're not happy with? I was on a self destructive path for a while it had a lot to do with complex PTSD(complex because it was actually two tramas, I had never really dealt with the first one and so was already in a bad place for the second one).

It can be hard to figure out how to change things, and sometimes its kind of a process of trial and error. What things are you most unhappy with? It may work to start addressing those and see if there are any small changes that can help and gradually move up to bigger changes. Also if its like mental health related, try not to be afraid to get professional help.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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27 May 2017, 9:55 pm

When I was younger, things weren't great but I had some hope at some point it would improve, but it didn't. Now I'm in a path I'm definitely not happy with, but I have no idea what I want and how I can change it.
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in middle school, got bullied a lot. did not get diagnosed with autism, Gender Identity Disorder, or clinical depression until age 21. now i am 34 years old. but when i was younger, i wrongfully believed that there was some future. job prospects. but i had no clue the extent of the homophobia in the world.

and i get paranoid that nobody will make the mistake of hiring my worthless corpse again. and then i will end up homeless.

nobody has ever dated me before.

homeless, vulnerable to all sorts of crap.

alone the rest of my precious lil "life". unless it's their job to interact with me, unless they have a functional reason, or unless they're bothering me, nobody will ever interact with me again.

granted, i like my "me" time. alone time. crave solitude. quiet. peace. privacy.

yes, that is great and all.

and certainly there are plenty of things worse than getting ignored. socially.

and i am grateful the city i live in is not nearly as homophobic as the city i went to BA in. (fine).

but seriously?

living alone for the rest of my stupid lil "life".

that's a bit emotionally disturbing.

but of course, i am too afraid of getting emotionally attached to someone (else) that is homophobic. or sexist, racist, classist, superficial, fatophobic, materialistic.

but nobody is perfect. and there is something wrong with everything.