When You Were Close to a Family Member

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Kitty4670
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28 May 2017, 8:38 pm

After my mom died, I became close to my grandmother, I loved talking to her, we had one thing in common, we both liked the same soap opera. Everything is so different now, cuz of my Asperger, we talk on the phone. Now I don't like talking on the phone too much & I stopped watching her soap opera, everytime we talk, it can be awkward, there can be pauses where I don't know what to say, we have soooo different opinions, lately I can't wait to get off the phone with her. Am I a bad granddaughter? Do anyone go through this with their family members?



CockneyRebel
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28 May 2017, 9:43 pm

My mum and I were close until the June of 2010. After I told her that Pete Quaife past away and she responded by giving me the sarcastic cold shoulder about The Kinks being old and people not lasting forever, we started to slowly drift apart.

We started drifting apart at a much faster pace last February, after she verbally abused me about the self-made German helmet. We really drifted apart at the end of last April and that's when I left the message of truth why I felt unwelcome at my parents place. Me preferring Germany, over Britain where my last name came from and the truth that I don't want to reach the standard of maturity that I'd grow up and be a woman that she was holding that bar high for me to jump.

My mum and I were slowly bonding again but after she mocked me last weekend, I felt the distance widen a little. I know that I'll be able to move forward and start bonding with her again when I'm back there the following weekend after this coming weekend.


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leejosepho
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28 May 2017, 10:31 pm

Kitty4670 wrote:
... Now I don't like talking on the phone too much & I stopped watching her soap opera, every time we talk, it can be awkward, there can be pauses where I don't know what to say, we have soooo different opinions, lately I can't wait to get off the phone with her. Am I a bad granddaughter? Do anyone go through this with their family members?

My grandparents and mother are gone, and I have never enjoyed much chit-chat with my dad. Nothing you have mentioned here sounds like you are being disrespectful or anything, just do your best to ask her how she is doing and how things are going at her favorite soap opera or whatever without getting into your own opinions. I do not expect my grandchildren to entertain me, just to care enough to let me know I still mean something to them even though I can no longer keep pace with them or do most of the things we had in the past done together.


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nick007
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29 May 2017, 7:33 pm

I never had a close relationship with anyone in my family including my parents but I do relate to the phone call problems. I don't like calling anyone & never have much to say but thankfully my parents do most of the talking when I call them. I feel pretty awkward when I call my grandma thou. I never know what to say & there's alot of awkward pauses. I almost never call her thou partly for that reason. She's not a bad grandma thou; I just always been in my own head alot & don't feel like myself around anyone except for my girlfriend.


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razzio
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30 May 2017, 2:24 pm

I can talk to all my family. Mum and dad, and my three sisters and two brothers. Never really fall out with my sisters and brothers. Yes, we have arguments but we forget about.