Is it bad to still want friends at my age?

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I've never been very social in my life and it is still that way at my age. A lot of it is because I am an outsider in what's supposed to be my culture (Central Texas Bible Belt). I just can't keep up with this place's love for football, vehicles, guns, country music, celebrity drama, Trump praising, movies that are mostly stuff blowing up, and shallow religious beliefs that are more about politics and vanity than spirituality. It feels like I either have to become a clone or just shut myself away. It's getting to where I wonder if it's even okay for me to even want friends at my age?

Why does it feel weird? Well, I notice that most people around me established their friendships in their developmental and school years so they have strong social networks while I have no friends from my developmental and school years so I feel like I failed on a test that I can never retake. The times I've reached out for friendship I was either told "I'm too busy." or they never respond to anything I say. I feel like I am a loser and I only have to look forward to my death.

Yes it's right to feel like you need friendship at any age.

There must be more people out there who feel out of place in the Bible Belt. It would be cool if you could meet them somehow. They're probably sitting at home feeling exactly the way you do wondering how they can meet other people like them.

I did a quick Google and the meetups seem to be more for athiests looking for other people like them, not sure if that's what you want but a search for meetups in your area might return some more specific results for you.

You're never too old to make new friends.

Well, I do attend the meet ups from a group I found out about through Meet Up. The people are nice but I haven't hung out with any of them outside the group.

I've also been going to an Unitarian fellowship but still haven't hung out with anyone outside it. Most of the people there are married and have families.

What's the social atmosphere in Iceland like?

I don't live in Iceland, I just like the name of that volcano. I'm from the UK.

I find that it can be easier to get to know older folks first (I'm only 35, so older folks to me is anyone over 50 lol). They are over any need to feel fashionable or cool and really enjoy talking to young people who take an interest in them. It makes them feel young too.

I'm in a different situation because I'm female. I would just say to someone I seem to get along with, "hey do you want to meet for a coffee on Saturday afternoon?" I don't know what the male equivalent of that is.

Once I've established a connection with some older folks, I will invite a group over for a get-together maybe with a family. Only about 6-8 people so that we can all participate in the conversation. A board game tends to break the ice, like pictionary.

The male equivalent in the Bible Belt tends to be "Hey, dude, you gotta smoke?" or "Got a beer, man?" or something else extremely shallow. When I tell them I don't either drink or smoke, they look at me weird and go away. I don't know how this culture continues to thrive despite being so self-destructive.

Why would it ever be bad to want friends?

I'm 36 and I have relocated to a foreign country, so I lost the opportunity to meet up with my secondary school mates and I know deep down that those friendships are kind of growing more and more distant because of it.

Meanwhile, I go to quite a few local meetups (not too often as I juggle work and childcare + I often need time alone) and just enjoy being among people. I agree it's really hard to establish new friendships that would be anything more than "wanna hang out?" but I hope that as I keep trying and learning how to be a better friend (I struggle with emotional sharing, free-flowing conversations, reciprocation and more) I'll have a close friend in my life again.

I hope when my daughter gets older I'll have more time to regularly meet up with people. I can't connect at all with other mothers at my daughter's school, apart from one - but we don't have much in common. I'm not a chatty, cupcake-baking, holiday planning homemaker and they can see that straight away I guess :/ Plus, I really don't enjoy being among them, it's so overwhelming and it makes me feel really inadequate.

I don't think it's ever bad to want friends. They can give you new perspectives and enjoy activities with you.

At my age, I feel like many people are losing interest in friendships. They seem to be either busy raising children or busy looking for someone to raise children with. I'm not married and not raising any children, so it's a little different for me. Mostly me, my plants, and my PC.

I also feel like I failed a test. I was so busy when I was younger trying to improve myself and my lot in life, and now that I'm feeling a little better my opportunities are drying up and my responsibilities are increasing. So I'm walking the rest of the way out alone.

Meet Ups are difficult to make because I work and volunteer, and don't have a lot of energy or money for travel. Many of them are ~30 minutes into the big cities nearby.

I tried once to reach out online to other lonely people in the nearby cities... did not go well.