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hurtloam
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19 Jun 2017, 4:12 pm

Good grief, what's happening to the world. Everything is a test and a game.

I'm bowing out. I prefer rdos method lol



The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Jun 2017, 3:40 pm

^ Men are imitating women in courting; that what's happening.



hurtloam
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20 Jun 2017, 4:17 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ Men are imitating women in courting; that what's happening.


But if everyone is passive then no one ever makes a move. If no one tells anyone the rules have changed, no one knows they should make a move.

Two wrongs don't make a right.



The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Jun 2017, 4:35 pm

hurtloam wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ Men are imitating women in courting; that what's happening.


But if everyone is passive then no one ever makes a move. If no one tells anyone the rules have changed, no one knows they should make a move.

Two wrongs don't make a right.


The keyword is Reciprocity.

Even reciprocity in "passivity".

Now you know the rules.

Btw check the COMMENTS of this article:
http://elitedaily.com/life/culture/why- ... n-anymore/

I am not with the author, I think he is a moron, but I am more with the comments who are attacking this article; and the comments reflect much how the typical modern men think; men are changing and are refusing to adhere to the old traditional image of man; that includes refuting to initiate everything in courting and refuting to be always the proactive ones. Today we expect equal effort from women in courting. Sometimes the effort is totally reversed.

Btw my partner initiates texting 90% of times (but part of the reason is because she wakes up much earlier lol).

One time she literally told me out of blue (and we weren't talking about this topic): "I understand now how much is difficult for a man to chase a woman - I felt so tired courting you to get your "yes" ". lol



hurtloam
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20 Jun 2017, 4:58 pm

The problem with this is that men will shoot themselves in the foot and miss out because the woman they like assumes that he has no interest in her.

I'm not really talking about me here, I mean women in general. I don't get it. I don't want a passive guy.



ZachGoodwin
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20 Jun 2017, 5:03 pm

That and the "what I found in his bedroom" story. I'm still trying to figure out a good way to prevent the "what I found in his bedroom" situation from ever happening. I cleaned my room clean, and got rid of some of my posters... However, blank walls seem like a bad idea still. My closet is filled with camera equipment, science fiction books, and winter clothing; there is nothing in it at all worth noting. The worst part is that camera equipment can be terrifying to women still. Seriously, some of the stuff that women say of guys when they look in his bedroom is crazy.



The_Face_of_Boo
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20 Jun 2017, 5:18 pm

hurtloam wrote:
The problem with this is that men will shoot themselves in the foot and miss out because the woman they like assumes that he has no interest in her.

I'm not really talking about me here, I mean women in general. I don't get it. I don't want a passive guy.


Never been so in my experience; in my experience when I was the chaser, the woman always ghosted me or never initiates anything; because she was never interested in the first place and never will be.

So no, thank you very much. Being the chasee suited me way better.



kraftiekortie
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20 Jun 2017, 6:11 pm

If I'm interested in a woman, I'm not going to sit on my fat behind and not initiate in some way.

I'm not THAT good...women don't initiate things with me. It's really never happened.



The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Jun 2017, 1:14 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
If I'm interested in a woman, I'm not going to sit on my fat behind and not initiate in some way.

I'm not THAT good...women don't initiate things with me. It's really never happened.


I am not promoting against initiating, but I am saying that men won't initiate (and shouldn't) initiate everything during the courting phase. A woman who really likes you, will initiate at times too.

I think most single men of my generation (and the 20s) expect the same.



The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Jun 2017, 1:22 am

Read for example the comment exchange here:

http://loveforsuccessfulwomen.com/2013/ ... -initiate/

Quote:
The laws" of courtship may be antiquated, but you will never change them."
Give it 10 years and get back to me on that. More and more men are refusing the old laws. If women won't change, then as i said we will drag you kicking and screaming towards reality.


Read the men's reactions to it.

Btw, hurtloam and slw, this article is BS, do the opposite of what she says. This is one of the women who is frustrated and cannot accept men's change.

Men are changing and women must accept this change, otherwise chances they may stay single, they have no other choice.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 21 Jun 2017, 1:33 am, edited 2 times in total.

hurtloam
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21 Jun 2017, 1:27 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
The problem with this is that men will shoot themselves in the foot and miss out because the woman they like assumes that he has no interest in her.

I'm not really talking about me here, I mean women in general. I don't get it. I don't want a passive guy.


Never been so in my experience; in my experience when I was the chaser, the woman always ghosted me or never initiates anything; because she was never interested in the first place and never will be.

So no, thank you very much. Being the chasee suited me way better.
l

Ok, I understand where you're coming from. Initiating as a guy didn't work for you, got it.

The thing is though, you are advising us to do the exact same thing thag didn't work for you.

When you're a woman chasing a guy who isn't interested you get the same result as a man chasing a woman who isn't interested. I know this. I am mostly the chaser and not at all successful.

but thats not to say slw shouldn't message men after a date. Go for it lass and see what happens, you mag have better luck than me.

I



The_Face_of_Boo
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21 Jun 2017, 5:34 am

hurtloam wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
The problem with this is that men will shoot themselves in the foot and miss out because the woman they like assumes that he has no interest in her.

I'm not really talking about me here, I mean women in general. I don't get it. I don't want a passive guy.


Never been so in my experience; in my experience when I was the chaser, the woman always ghosted me or never initiates anything; because she was never interested in the first place and never will be.

So no, thank you very much. Being the chasee suited me way better.
l

Ok, I understand where you're coming from. Initiating as a guy didn't work for you, got it.

The thing is though, you are advising us to do the exact same thing thag didn't work for you.

When you're a woman chasing a guy who isn't interested you get the same result as a man chasing a woman who isn't interested. I know this. I am mostly the chaser and not at all successful.

but thats not to say slw shouldn't message men after a date. Go for it lass and see what happens, you mag have better luck than me.

I


Because chasing is futile if there's no reciprocity and interest from the one you're chasing.



hurtloam
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21 Jun 2017, 3:43 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
The problem with this is that men will shoot themselves in the foot and miss out because the woman they like assumes that he has no interest in her.

I'm not really talking about me here, I mean women in general. I don't get it. I don't want a passive guy.


Never been so in my experience; in my experience when I was the chaser, the woman always ghosted me or never initiates anything; because she was never interested in the first place and never will be.

So no, thank you very much. Being the chasee suited me way better.
l

Ok, I understand where you're coming from. Initiating as a guy didn't work for you, got it.

The thing is though, you are advising us to do the exact same thing thag didn't work for you.

When you're a woman chasing a guy who isn't interested you get the same result as a man chasing a woman who isn't interested. I know this. I am mostly the chaser and not at all successful.

but thats not to say slw shouldn't message men after a date. Go for it lass and see what happens, you mag have better luck than me.

I


Because chasing is futile if there's no reciprocity and interest from the one you're chasing.


You always have to have the last word :p You just repeated what I said.

I guess we actually agree.



slw1990
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22 Jun 2017, 5:34 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Ok, I understand where you're coming from. Initiating as a guy didn't work for you, got it.

The thing is though, you are advising us to do the exact same thing thag didn't work for you.

When you're a woman chasing a guy who isn't interested you get the same result as a man chasing a woman who isn't interested. I know this. I am mostly the chaser and not at all successful.

but thats not to say slw shouldn't message men after a date. Go for it lass and see what happens, you mag have better luck than me.

I


I get this a lot too because when I message some guys they would sometimes start taking longer to respond and the messages would become shorter. I would be messaging them more than they would be messaging me. It's happened enough for it to be a pattern so I don't think me not showing interest is the only problem I have.

I'll try messaging guys more after dates though.



kraftiekortie
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22 Jun 2017, 5:39 pm

^^ If you like the guy, you message him more.

If not, then you don't.



slw1990
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22 Jun 2017, 5:44 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
^^ If you like the guy, you message him more.

If not, then you don't.


Yes, but it would be a bad idea to keep messaging a guy that hardly messages me. It would only give them power and maybe even make me seem like a stalker.