Why do you Live?

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Curiosity.

No matter how bad the world gets or how ridiculous our picks for leadership are, if it becomes a total wreck then I'm like a rubbernecker gawking at a car crash.

Or taken in a more positive way, I'm astonished at what we are learning about Science and the Cosmos.

But yeah, I've got my silicon toys or other pleasures to distract me and relieve stress.

I continue to live because the only alternative (death) isn't exactly an attractive option.

I know [have faith] that if I stick this lifetime out, I will have a better place waiting for me when I return to the bright world above this one.

And they think autistic people have trouble with the Abstract.....

I often ask myself that same thing, the very same thing that I cannot understand why. I suppose family and some friends will be sad, but that won't last too long will it, since we eventually heal and move on? I suppose I'll never know my future, but what if that's nothing but more misery like it's looking?

Quite literally at the point I've heavily considered a psychiatric ward stay, but all I hear is that it'll prove how condemned to misery it makes you feel, knowing you'll never escape for a long time. It's just a constant back and forth, to the point I literally feel like I'm going insane from it.

Cause I'm unable to end it. Besides that I have nothing worth living for or looking forward to but even worst life.

Now that I have a little bit of money from SSDI, I plan to live to spend it till I drop dead naturally.

Lust, spite and interesting things.

identify a larger cause that you want to contribute to and make your contribution.

for example, a political cause, lgbt rights, child labor, pollution, animal rights, being successful at work.

but yeah i have felt pretty aimless for a long time. and i am 34. from 3rd to 7th grade, my precious lil "parents" made me memorize 10-20 SAT words per day, in the summer. and 10-20 SAT words per week, in the school year, from 3rd to 7th grade. then take the SAT in 7th grade. good grief.

all so that i could go to ucsd. flunk structural engineering 4th year.

but hey. "life" goes on. at least, "life" goes on, as much as it otherwise would have gone on, with structural engineering.

especially for people that are different, such as autistics, it's kind of hard to find your niche. or even find a single friend. and it has been. even though the city i live in is plenty diverse and politically liberal. and et cetera. but if and when you find some friends, they might make you feel less aimless.

but quite frankly, though. eventually everything living will die. and humans will go extinct. all those successes won't matter, sooner or later.

when my precious lil "mom" died 2 years ago, my precious lil "dad" and sister were sad. but, sooner or later everyone is going to die. so what?

I am ever curious and my mind is constantly on the prowl, I have reached this far somehow when the path has been cluttered and assailed by landslides and howling gales, I expect to reach a brighter existence eventually and enjoy the vantage point and sense of perspective battling upwards has given me, seeking calmer weather, pleasant company and continue my thought gardening and hope to contribute to the world in whatever small ways I can to improve the lives of fellow struggling humans. Mostly I keep on trucking because I decided killing myself will not relieve me of my pains in a satisfying way and I have discovered I am not a bad human being and have a little to offer. If I don't kick the bucket before I get further that is, I expect to acquire terminal illness almost every day lol.

mostly because i'm too afraid to kill myself

because i'm alive.

You live because life is a gift. It's given to us. Without the life there couldn't be anything. Suicide is pointless, because Only As Long As You Live, You Have a chance and opportunity to change anything. Only(! !!) The Death can take it away from you. Doing nothing is not doing anything. Hardworking always give results, even beyond your expectations. Only death can take it away and deny to allow you that. There is no second changes and afterlife. The brain is a emitter and receiver and we are just a biological mechanism with consciousness. No receiver means nothing, like nothing was before your birth.

During my adolescence i was very eager to find my purpose and my motivation in life. Never finding either has pushed me right into long phases of depression. After a while i realized that the purpose doesn't really matter and that the thing that drives me is my curiosity/thirst for knowledge. Frankly, this is all i need as an answer!

traditional martial arts, greater learning, giving gifts, and good company.