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androbot01
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04 Jun 2017, 7:57 pm

In 2009 I was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. Apart from useful self-knowledge, not much changed. I continued to go from psychiatrist to psychiatrist without much help. My behaviour remained erratic and self-destructive. Well, in this last year I have happened to come into the care of a psychiatrist who has figured out the right combination of medication to actually make a difference to my mental functioning. Depression remains a constant issue, but she has decided to treat it by increasing the amount of Seroquel I take.

This medication (in combination with Gabapentin) has allowed me to think more coherently and to not be so effected by other people. I am now more aware of where I was going wrong before. And I also know that if I were to stop taking this medication, my self-awareness wouldn't do me much good as my brain would malfunction again, and my judgment could not be trusted.

I have been judged to have a poor character by family and friends. And my behaviour was trying for everyone. But if I no longer behave so because of medication I take, then it seems unfair that my character was maligned, when in fact I was mentally ill. So many years of my life were spent struggling against something I could not beat. The drugs that help me didn't exist when I was a child. For the first time, I don't feel angry at myself for not meeting expectations because I know I couldn't have.

I am not sure how to handle mental stability. I am so used to chaos and meltdowns that I'm not sure how to go about the routines of life.



kraftiekortie
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05 Jun 2017, 1:53 am

Even amid all that, you still have a good mind.



ASPartOfMe
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05 Jun 2017, 2:50 am

I hope this regimen continues to work for you.


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Misslizard
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05 Jun 2017, 8:59 am

Great that you found a doc that has helped you.Finding the right med combo can takes years,we are all different so what works for one won't help another.Sending you good thoughts that it's just going to keep getting better.


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androbot01
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05 Jun 2017, 9:12 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
...you still have a good mind.

Thanks. "A Beautiful Mind." My psychiatrist tells me that she believes me to have a mood disorder and the increased Seroquel stabilizes me. I realize now that I used to use my "manic" times to push myself to do things I probably shouldn't have.

ASPartOfMe wrote:
I hope this regimen continues to work for you.

I think that if it stopped working I would be in a real pickle because I now know that there is something going on in my brain that can be fixed.

Misslizard wrote:
Great that you found a doc that has helped you.Finding the right med combo can takes years,we are all different so what works for one won't help another.Sending you good thoughts that it's just going to keep getting better.

Thanks. I begin lately to realize that I have been quite ill for a long time.



kraftiekortie
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05 Jun 2017, 9:15 am

I really liked the movie "A Beautiful Mind."

I wish I had the mind of that guy, even if he was delusional.

He got over his delusions, and did really well (per the movie). I think he did okay in real life, too. He recently passed away.



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 05 Jun 2017, 9:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

androbot01
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05 Jun 2017, 9:22 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I really liked the movie "A Beautiful Mind."

I wish I had the mind of that guy, even if was delusional.

I think sometimes greatness is found in madness, at a high cost.



kraftiekortie
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05 Jun 2017, 9:27 am

I agree with that wholeheartedly.

Maybe that's why I haven't accomplished much; I'm not insane enough!

It's been documented that there's much "genius" in madness. The "madness," at times, consists of a person having difficulty harnessing and organizing all that "genius,"



androbot01
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05 Jun 2017, 9:33 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
... a person having difficulty harnessing and organizing all that "genius,"

I think the genius comes from the chaos.



kraftiekortie
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05 Jun 2017, 9:39 am

No doubt.

I've known people who were mentally ill----yet had all these great ideas which seemed disorganized, random, etc. at first glance.

If only these "great ideas" could be honed---and the "method of delivery" refined.



shortfatbalduglyman
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28 Jul 2017, 9:23 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
No doubt.

I've known people who were mentally ill----yet had all these great ideas which seemed disorganized, random, etc. at first glance.

If only these "great ideas" could be honed---and the "method of delivery" refined.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

some professionals claim that bipolar people have higher average IQ scores than people that are not bipolar.

likewise with creativity.

sometimes being mentally ill makes it easier to think outside the box. hence some "great ideas". some ideas not so great.



androbot01
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29 Jul 2017, 11:25 am

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
_______________________________________________________________________________________

some professionals claim that bipolar people have higher average IQ scores than people that are not bipolar.

likewise with creativity.

sometimes being mentally ill makes it easier to think outside the box. hence some "great ideas". some ideas not so great.

I agree. I think mental illness gives one an insight into perception and looking at things from multiple angles. I've often thought that the mentally healthy take too much for granted.



Misslizard
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01 Aug 2017, 11:38 am

This is a good read on the subject of mental illness and creativity.You can get it used on Amazon for a reasonable price.
http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NE ... #t=article


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shortfatbalduglyman
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01 Aug 2017, 7:47 pm

androbot01 wrote:
shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
_______________________________________________________________________________________

some professionals claim that bipolar people have higher average IQ scores than people that are not bipolar.

likewise with creativity.

sometimes being mentally ill makes it easier to think outside the box. hence some "great ideas". some ideas not so great.

______________________________________________________________________________________
I agree. I think mental illness gives one an insight into perception and looking at things from multiple angles. I've often thought that the mentally healthy take too much for granted.

______________________________________________________________________________

and then the NTs, especially extroverts, act like if you do not look and act like them, then you must be morally inferior to them. and they treat you as such.