Am I a fraud? Time waster?

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Yay!

Good for you. I got my diagnosis last week 11/07/2017, it was 3.50pm. Its already changed my life and I am going to change my life too. No more jobs that allow my ego to be bigger than my autism. Its all well and good knowing lots of stuff, not some easy trying to apply it in a world full of humanoids and demands, life is fleeting and I don't want to be unhappy anymore. I am going to be nicer to myself.

Part of me wants to tell everyone, its part of me, it explains me and why should I lie about it. The other part goes "Do you remember what it was like to get crap beaten out of you for 10 years at school, would you like the grown ups non-violent edition too?" And then I have to remind myself that just because I am interested in something or because something is important to me doesn't mean anyone else gives a hoot (I am really bad at remembering that)

A diagnosis of autism changes everything and nothing, but personally I would rather know.

It's definitely a strange feeling, feel like breaking out the champagne. Everyone is being really supportive and it seems to have come as no surprise, I think I must be fortunate that it's taken me 35 years to 'need' a diagnosis, and that's just for work purposes where I am now eligible for 'reasonable adjustments'.

It has definitely put a new spin on my life and the way I am, well worth the stress!

My psychologist seems to have picked up on various things I hadn't noticed before, especially lack of emotion shown in the face which I wasnt really aware of.

Going to take some processing!

Feeling like you're just searching for elaborate excuses and trespassing on property you have no business poking around on- that is the sort of skyline I had blasting out at me whilst I explored the autistic possibility, endless consternation, chipping away and taunting. It of course is absolutely not to be ignored as nobody truly knows for certain unless they seek, but it must be pushed aside and kindly informed that you are seeking truth on the matter so stop bothering me!

Wow, that's a very eloquent explanation of how I felt/still feel a bit, it feels like the world has changed, there is nothing wrong with me, I am just different and all the better for it!

Your post gives me a boost, I am not the only one who feels like I do!

It's weird, still sinking in I think, but been useful for work. Try not to let it weigh on your mind too much and hope it doesn't take too much longer!

They should have it done by the next time I go back. I'm still off work sick but they're being very supportive. Lord knows when I feel like I'll be able to go back. What kind of work do u do?

Can't say too much but 95% office based job at a computer most of the time, can be a bit soul destroying on occasion. My work have been good too, very supportive. Hope you get sorted soon, indulge yourself in the meantime and try and stay positive!

Don't worry about it being "all in your head" or being some kind of nut. That's not what it is to be on the autism spectrum. Basically, all of the symptoms are caused by brain processing problems. That is, your brain is not processing some of the incoming stuff properly, and reacts in the wrong way. This causes social issues, physical sensitivity issues, sometimes motor skills issues, sometimes not being able to recognize faces, digestive issues, bowel issues, time distortion issues, and many other problems. We often have meltdowns or shutdowns because of overloads caused by the brain processing problems, by our social issues, and by people not understanding our special needs regarding our physical sensitivities. This is not a fun condition to have. The only good thing I can say about it is that once I knew what was wrong with me, it was somewhat of a relief.

It was terrible living most of my life with all these problems, and not knowing why, or what was wrong with me. Although there is no cure, there are coping methods, and I had already stumbled upon some of them on my own long before I found out I have Asperger's syndrome.

If you want a formal diagnosis, and some tips on how to deal with your particular batch of symptoms, do get some professional help. Also, keep coming here to WP. It's both a help site and a social site for people on the spectrum. It also helps with a number of other conditions that are often co-morbids with autism spectrum disorders. I've been a member for quite a few years now, and lurked here for a couple of years before that.

Hope you like it here at WP!