Am I a fraud? Time waster?

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Hi all

My first post here as a possible aspie.

I have been referred to a psychologist for further assessment which in some ways I am dreading, is it all in my head?

I have completed all the self tests I can find, e.g. AQ score 42, EQ score 11, so way over the cut offs there. Aspie Quiz 141/200 neurodiverse and 61/200 neurotypical score so again likely aspie. The only test that seems borderline is the RQ questionaire I did with my folks where I got 14 possibly 15 depending upon how questions interpreted. I am not too sure after 30 years this can be all that useful as memories fade and get distorted, with my memories different in some respect to my parents. I am really mindful of the fact that issues have to be present across my lifespan, and I just can't be sure I can.

Has anyone else had this issue with the RQ test?

Anyone come across lack of detailed info from childhood being an issue with assessment?

I really don't want to waste anyone's time, most of all our stretched NHS over here in the UK.

All comments gratefully received!

If you have parents or siblings that could describe what you were like as a kid that might be helpful (Unless they think you are a fraud). Also if possible try and find old school records and reports.

People do get diagnosed without those things, however.

Let us know how the assessment goes.

Thanks, my folks/family are supportive of going for a diagnosis, in fact it just seems to be me that has doubts, albeit that I really very much I identify with most of what I have read, "that's me" I kept saying to myself.

Just being a neurotic mess no doubt!

Will report back following my assessment.

Many thanks

Have you also felt a ''little different'' from everyone else? Seems alot on the spectrum including myself have always felt different but didnt know why... I am not saying this would define you in that light but also might help a little..
Also sometimes parents may change stories or denied things have happened as it is too painful for them to accept, this has happens with my family. However i do have a good pictorial memory and know these things happened, Mother says no but then call my father later and he says yes it didhappen. Selective memory is common for people if they have experienced high levels of stress from past negative experiences. Just another thought...
Also if you look at all the traits and feel you tend to fit most of them then you have a very high likelihood of being on the spectrum. Interests/obsessions can sometimes be hard to pin point because it can be normalized in a family setting especially if your family is quit secluded.
The hardest part is wanting answers all ones life but unless you know the questions to ask one can not find the answers. Knowing can actually really help discovering not just those answers but also understanding oneself.

Self doubt is also a very common thing.Even after you find out.
How are you in social setting or round groups of people?
Do you stim, this can be many things, rubbing face, biting inside of cheek, caressing your finger against your lips, rubbing face, knee bouncing, foot jiggling, nail biting etc? Stimming can manifest itself in many areas as a way to self sooth.
Also with some people they develop coping mechanisms and rather than have verbal and physical meltdowns they sometimes learn to internalize and shutdown instead, which is my case. I have had meltdowns as an adult, but it is more in the extreme of being upset, normally when being used and misled in a toxic relationship...

Taking things literally is also a rather classic one and hit and miss with sarcasm. ( depending on where you live, grew up in SW England where most conversations revolved round sarcasm, but was still hit and miss, even though i have noticed that many here seem to have a grasp of it generally to what the ''Professionals'' seem to perceive.

The list goes on and can be endless to some extent, hence the term ''spectrum''.

Good morning,

The fact that the two key screening tools put you over the threshold, And you have been referred for assessment suggests that you are not a fraud.

The referal is significant as the doctor doing the referal would have seen some merits in whatever case you made.

If you have winged things well up to now, or made good use of the strong parts in your profile, then it may well feel like being a not of a fraud or time waster as it may feel as if there is no pressing difficulties. It is also possible that your assessment may reach a conclusion similar to mine which was that my profile was autistic, but with its strengths and some workarounds I had managed to avoid it creating severe enough hardship to diagnose at any of the severity levels on the DSM .

Were you offered any professional help after diagnosis or was just knowing help enough ?

Also, if you were to be diagnosed and you end up doing just fine but end up trying to get work placement in the army, navy, police force etc. You can get a new diagnosis that would effectively remove that from your record, in the sense that your aspergers does not cause you difficulty. You will always be on the spectrum from birth till death. Being diagnosed can help with not just understanding ones self to a level but be able to get certain assistance that you would be unable to get without the diagnosis...


The thing is we pretty much all mask it to a level. Hence why it is also known as the hidden disability . Many of us have found natural coping mechanisms or had the strength to not show certain signs when amongst other people... Things may seem well for a while but often in your late thirties/early forties it can often hit you like a ton of bricks as you will not have the strength to mask the symptoms like you had when younger, also the added stress of expectations as one gets older as well plays heavily on the mind...


You will know what you can deal with and what you cant, just dont fear it, you have always been an aspie (if diagnosed), now you just have a name to be able to explain a few things. It is not something to be feared and finding out wont make you any different in that respect, ha...

Also , wouldn't be surprised if one of your parents is on the spectrum, as the apple doesn't always fall far from the tree, but can sometimes skip generations.

Hello,

I am 35 too in the UK and just got diagnosed last week. At times I also wondered if I was wasting everyone's time and I even said that to them on my last assessment with them but they assured me that I wasn't. I brought my mum and dad with me for one of the assessments (the loner session). I was in two minds about it as I didn't know if my mum would remember anything and my dad was in complete denial. Turned out my mum remembered loads of things that even I forgot. I didn't even remember stimming until she said about it and I only stopped doing that the last few years. I don't know how yo have ended up going for assessment but in my case it was my GP who picked up on it and sneakily sent me off for an initial appointment with a mental health team who agreed with his suspicions. They then informed me of their suspicions that I had ASD, offered me the AQ10 questionnaire which I scored highly on as well so they asked if I wanted to go to the adult autism service.

I think I did about 7 questionnaires in total. I don't know what they were all for but they said I scored as they would expect someone with autism to score. However, they informed me that they also take into consideration the info you have given them, in addition to that of your parents. To be honest though, if you can remember enough from your childhood and significant things I would think that would be enough to get a diagnosis. Let us know how it goes!

EDIT: I should also add that many of my memories conflicted with that of my father's. Luckily my mother remembered it as I did but don't think that it is all in your head. I know exactly how you feel as I was in that position last week. Now I am just trying to deal with the ASD diagnosis and where it leaves me.

Wow thanks all for your comments and experiences, settled my mind greatly. Clearly I exhibit many traits, social issues, sensory, special interests, stimming in the form of chewing inside of mouth, picking skin, gross but find it soothing even when a bit painful. I think these come to the forefront more when I am stressed out and life has been hard of late. In hindsight I had parents who, whether inadvertently or not, did all the right things in terms of schooling, so I was not exposed to terrible bullying like some.

Loving the forum, it's like waking up to a whole new side of me that was always there but I thought was just me being weird and geeky, out of place!

I am definitely less apprehensive now, thanks folks.

So, had my assessment today, full report in couple weeks, but psychologist said "it will come as no supprise"! Starting to feel more justified in my suspicions, brave new world, although not much has really changed. Any thoughts on what to do with myself with this confirmation?

Thanks all

Just let it sink in I guess. I haven't had my written report yet, I get it on Monday. Initially I was relieved, then in a state of despair and now I think I am starting to accept me. I'm still off work sick and I don't know when I will be going back. Not for a while yet I'd imagine. I think I am being kinder to myself though

I think school reports are the best if they contain notes about development and behavior. A person I know in his 40's was having trouble getting family fill out an whatever for his assessment. But he found out he really didn't need them when he got copies of his school records. He bowled over by what all his teachers starting from kindergarten had to say about him. Each teacher was pretty much describing textbook aspergers.

In the end I didn't need my parents to come, I went through the questionaire with them and got a few anecdotes, psychologist happy with that and my own recollection. Despite working myself up, in the end it was pretty simple, but given that I had spent weeks researching, nothing came as any great surprise! Definitely new passion/special interest! Thanks all for input, no doubt it will be a roller-coaster of anxiety over the next couple of weeks, but presently feeling relaxed and relieved!

I know exactly what you mean about the new special interest. I started driving myself mad though so I've taken a break this past week

It can get a bit intense break a good idea, when I did the same, definitely refreshed and picked up loads of new stuff when I came back to it!

Finally diagnosis confirmed! Weird feeling, nothing has changed but still sinking in!