I feel I may have wrecked my life for ever

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I am 31 years old and I feel that I may have just taken my life, thrown it in the trash can and set it ablaze. As I noted on other threads, I have a PhD in physics, with 2 papers published during that time, a masters with one paper and am going the postdoc route. I have gained some teaching and grant writing experience in that tenure, but I am not sure what will come from the work I have done and if it will be possible to use it somewhere. If there are difficulties in that, I have a fear that it will be far too late to turn my life around, that I will be 31 and looking at a lifetime of being a nothing. And that it will be 100 % impossible for me to get hired anywhere and there is absolutely nothing I can do to prevent being stuck with relatives since I will not be looked at as being skilled enough to be hired or accomplished enough to get a foot in the door anywhere. I just feel if I haven't established a clear direction by 31 I am beyond screwed and at that age it's just too late to switch directions of any kind. I would love to be able to even see if my skills can be used to do so and I am just not sure if will ever be feasible. It sometimes has gotten to the point where I look to get hit by a fast moving car or walk off a bridge because my life decisions so far were the difference between a good living and being dependent on others forever. It is not that bad as often now, but I feel it could get there later on again.

Would love any practical advice or anything positive, constructive, anything that may be able to help in terms if either feeling better about my situation and/or assistance in where to get started.

I think it's possible that you might do fine as a professor----especially on the graduate level.

In order to be a good undergrad professor, you would have to know how to explain complex physics concepts in "laymans" terms.

There's a movie, "Stand and Deliver," where a teacher is able to clearly define advanced calculus concepts to a "student audience" made of up people who don't usually understand abstract concepts. These students came from "disadvantaged" backgrounds, yet were able to pass AP Calculus (in high school) with flying colors. This was because this teacher was able to use "real world" applications in his instruction.

go to a career counselor

talk to other physicists. certainly plenty of them are autistic.

I knew someone who was working on his masters and taught undergraduate tutorial classes, as well as worked as a private tutor for students who needed extra. Maybe that could be an avenue for you, teaching an undergraduate physics tutorial class? Or private tutoring? You're definitely qualified enough for that. If you list a PhD in physics as your credentials no one is going to argue, especially if you have teaching and writing experience.
I'm not sure why you're so convinced someone with a high level of education won't be hired anywhere. What about post-doctoral research? Theory? What about looking into using your physics training in a more practical field, like engineering?
Personally I think this "clear direction" stuff is BS. It functions on the assumption that things don't change. You start on a path and you don't deviate, and life is expected to accommodate you. From my experience life is rarely that simple. Besides, completing a PhD and going through to post-doctoral level is a clear direction. Maybe you just struggle with application? Have you done some solid research into the alternate fields someone with a physics degree could work? The results might surprise you.
And hell man, 31 isn't the end of the proverbial line. Plenty of people these days change careers well into their 50s or even 60s. Your education and other accomplishments in academia prove you're intelligent, consistent, you can finish what you start and you're functional. Plenty of employers will take higher education into account, even only hiring people with a bachelor's degree or higher, regardless of their field of study. So yours would actually give you the advantage over someone less educated.
Hopefully you find a way to run with your skills !

Many scientists do there own research at home. Why not write some papers that interest you? Then publish?
Again this is the result of social construct. You are not past any sell by date. Even J. K. Rowling didnt have anything going in her eyes till she was in her forties. Check her video out below, you seem to have much in common as do the rest of us and yes it is presumed she is an aspie also... Nothing is ever ''Too'', late, i feel the same often. Yet my time will come when one is ready and not when society expects me be ready!

This is an ideology myself i struggle with in changing, but now i realise that, failure is necessary! It is not a negative we may perceive.
Her speech is amazingly inspiring! If you can, watch it all

You do have to make a practical living.....but seeming pipe dreams are not always pipe dreams. It's not rare for people to attain success at a later age.

You definitely have to have something practical to fall back on in this economy and in this economic system.

Even if you have to seemingly "sell out."

There's not much safety net for people in the US.

There's one thing that's always needed: teachers of remedial math. On all levels.

Why not become an online tutor for Kaplan or some place like that. People with doctorates can make good money. I only have a bachelor's, but I made $20 an hour tutoring.

There are usually no bosses looking over your shoulder within online tutoring jobs.

I know a guy who is very Aspie like, and who charges $50 an hour to tutor math. He has a Master's in mathematics. Physics involves higher mathematics. He also works as a customer service rep for a phone company.

Or you can tutor for the physics Regents or equivalent.

if you wrecked your life at 31 with a phd in Physics, then a lot of people have already wrecked their lives.

if so many people have wrecked their lives, then wrecking their lives might not be such a bad thing.

quite frankly, i do not have a background in Physics, career counseling, or anything like that. so i can't give you work advice.

but seriously you ought to seek work advice from people of a similar education level as you. social service agencies like Dept of Rehab are disproportionately targeted toward people that do not have degrees. esp not advanced degrees in STEM subjects.

besides, what if you have wrecked your life forever, then what?

plenty of people do not have degrees, much less advanced degrees. plenty of people have been convicted of felonies and misdemeanors. plenty of people have diagnosis for mental illnesses, diseases. plenty of people filed Chapter 11. plenty of people are homeless. plenty of people are in jail. plenty of people work minimum wage jobs. plenty of people are in debt. plenty of people default student loans. plenty of people got fired. plenty of people have no friends.

big deal.

No, you have not wrecked your life.
You just need to find your place in life.

Maybe somewhere like NASA?

Some mistakes are irreversible and permanent

But that does not mean you "wreaked" your life

You cant change the past

But some things you can fix