Do you get told you act like the opposite gender?

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NewTime
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20 Jun 2017, 3:56 pm

Do you get told you act like the opposite gender?



shortfatbalduglyman
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20 Jun 2017, 9:46 pm

precious lil "people" have had the nerve to tell me "you look/sound like a boy/girl".

but that's just what i look like to him/her.

that's just their perception, compared to what they think boys and girls should look and sound like.

and that was just b/c i got a buzz cut. when i was 20 years old.

they get on my nerves. homophobes.

especially those extroverts. it's like talk, talk, talk. judgment after judgment.

and seriously?

it is boy/girl, man/woman, ladies/gentlemen, male/female.

the word "guy" ain't got no linguistic equivalent.

it gets on my nerves when precious lil "people" say "guys and girls" or even "men and girls."

junior high school age males do not like to be called "boys", so they call themselves "guys". that way they do not have to claim to be "men".

meanwhile females get called "grils" well into middle age.

it makes me wanna puke.

quite frankly, it sounds sexist. to me. to say "guys and girls".

but so many precious lil "people" do that. nobody is going to cater to my pet peeves.

besides, what if someone did cater to my pet peeves, then what? whooptie do.

the word choice reflects attitude

word chose reflects sexism



SubtleCow
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20 Jun 2017, 10:56 pm

I have been mistaken for a trans woman (i.e. born with male bits and transitioned). In reality I was born with lady bits and never bothered to copy certain female behaviours that I find distateful.

So I guess the only way some guys can possibly imagine a girl being such a bro, is if the girl use to be a "bro".



CockneyRebel
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21 Jun 2017, 12:36 am

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
precious lil "people" have had the nerve to tell me "you look/sound like a boy/girl".

but that's just what i look like to him/her.

that's just their perception, compared to what they think boys and girls should look and sound like.

and that was just b/c i got a buzz cut. when i was 20 years old.

they get on my nerves. homophobes.

especially those extroverts. it's like talk, talk, talk. judgment after judgment.

and seriously?

it is boy/girl, man/woman, ladies/gentlemen, male/female.

the word "guy" ain't got no linguistic equivalent.

it gets on my nerves when precious lil "people" say "guys and girls" or even "men and girls."

junior high school age males do not like to be called "boys", so they call themselves "guys". that way they do not have to claim to be "men".

meanwhile females get called "grils" well into middle age.

it makes me wanna puke.

quite frankly, it sounds sexist. to me. to say "guys and girls".

but so many precious lil "people" do that. nobody is going to cater to my pet peeves.

besides, what if someone did cater to my pet peeves, then what? whooptie do.

the word choice reflects attitude

word chose reflects sexism


That stuff really gets on my nerves as well. It sickens me to no end. The thing that sickens me even more is that my parents fall for such fluff. Every time I venture out of my apartment, those things are always on my mind. When I walk down the sidewalk, I like to move over for the man, so that he thinks I'm also a man. I use the men's washrooms to prove a point. Some woman had the nerve to tell me, "Madam, the lady's washroom is around the corner!" I said, "I don't care." She repeated herself and I yelled like a Sergeant, "I DON'T CARE!" After I got out of the cubicle, an old man said, "You're in the wrong washroom, deer." I said in an annoyed tone, "I'm Transgender, mind your own business!" The man said, "I didn't know." I thought in my mind, "I wear a German helmet and he doesn't know that I'm Trans." I told the woman who was selling meal and drink tickets at the event that I was at, "I really wish that people would stop looking at what's on my chest and start looking at what's on my head. It's very annoying."


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C2V
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21 Jun 2017, 6:30 am

Quote:
Some woman had the nerve to tell me, "Madam, the lady's washroom is around the corner!" I said, "I don't care." She repeated herself and I yelled like a Sergeant, "I DON'T CARE!" After I got out of the cubicle, an old man said, "You're in the wrong washroom, deer." I said in an annoyed tone, "I'm Transgender, mind your own business!" The man said, "I didn't know." I thought in my mind, "I wear a German helmet and he doesn't know that I'm Trans." I told the woman who was selling meal and drink tickets at the event that I was at, "I really wish that people would stop looking at what's on my chest and start looking at what's on my head. It's very annoying."

Hesitant to give you unsolicited advice, but just because you wear that helmet doesn't mean someone else should automatically know you're trans. They may read you as female identified and just dressing up.
Though I haven't had this happen to me, since I'm androgynous and people usually can't tell what I am reliably enough to call me out on being in the "wrong" room (and I use both) if someone was to say to you things like "the lady's washroom is around the corner" or "you're in the wrong washroom," I would be more inclined to simply reply that no, you're not in fact in the wrong room. That clearly states that you are male.
Some people haven't had much experience with transfolk. They may not have been trying to be antagonistic. If you're uncomfortable being identified female because of your chest, have you tried binding it? That may help with people noticing your physique and assuming your gender.
I seem to get told that I act both like a gay man, and like a gay woman. How is that possible? You'd think they'd be polar opposites. But to be told I'm acting like the "opposite" gender, someone would have to tell me I'm acting like a woman OR a man. Both are fairly opposite to me. I perceive my behaviour as fairly femme.


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21 Jun 2017, 7:11 am

I got told many times that I "don't behave like any woman I've known" or "you're just so different to most women". I identify as agender so it kind of always seemed true to me :)
A few times I've also been told that I "was the guy in a relationship" or that I "was too strong, not like most women" (erm... mental strength is not even related to gender, is it?) .



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21 Jun 2017, 7:24 am

Hehe. Funny story: Years ago, I worked for a few years with Vojtěch Jasný ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vojt%C4%9Bch_Jasn%C3%BD ) and František "Frank" Daniel ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Daniel ) at the Sundance Institute filmmakers' lab. One night, I attended a dinner party at the larger of two cabins (mine was smaller, but nearby) which Vojtěch co-hosted with Frank. Vojtěch had apparently been "reading palms" in a kind of Czech fashion before I arrived a little late due to my work schedule. The whole crowd of other institute staffers started asking Vojtěch to read my palm, too. They were all enjoying their evening and Vojtěch complied. While staring at my hand for a few moments, he pronounced loudly "you are a girl!"

So, if you can't trust Czech folk skills, what can you trust? :wink:


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21 Jun 2017, 7:57 am

All the time as a kid. As an adult especially in these gender neutral times, no one cares. To be honest, I neither feel male or female. But it's not so much of a big deal that I want some kind of surgery. I just don't really make an effort to do "gender appropriate" things.

As a kid it was mostly, "Eww! You like to play in the dirt!" That's for boys!" from other girls. It didn't bother me. I continued to play in the dirt and if the boys would let me, I possibly would have played (American) football or baseball. My mom would get upset that I didn't want to wear dresses to Sunday school but she felt she couldn't fit into the church environment so we didn't go anymore for a while. When we did start going to Catholic Mass, where you don't really interact with anyone, she did try to get me to dress "feminine" but I refused to go if I couldn't dress comfortably. If my mom wanted me to go, she let me dress how I wanted. I was never into boys and I think a LOT of people were in denial that I was a lesbian. I also wondered if I was too, but I never was attracted to girls either. No, I'm just asexual. There's more things in life than romance.

I used to want to be a boy instead of a girl as a kid. But my main problem was feeling as if I was born in the body of the wrong species. I only wanted to be a boy after being forced to wear an uncomfortable frilly dress to Sunday school, but seeing the boys allowed to wear shorts and Lion King shirts. After I got older and no one could enforce me to wear what I didn't want to wear, I didn't care anymore.


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CockneyRebel
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21 Jun 2017, 10:40 am

C2V wrote:
Quote:
Some woman had the nerve to tell me, "Madam, the lady's washroom is around the corner!" I said, "I don't care." She repeated herself and I yelled like a Sergeant, "I DON'T CARE!" After I got out of the cubicle, an old man said, "You're in the wrong washroom, deer." I said in an annoyed tone, "I'm Transgender, mind your own business!" The man said, "I didn't know." I thought in my mind, "I wear a German helmet and he doesn't know that I'm Trans." I told the woman who was selling meal and drink tickets at the event that I was at, "I really wish that people would stop looking at what's on my chest and start looking at what's on my head. It's very annoying."

Hesitant to give you unsolicited advice, but just because you wear that helmet doesn't mean someone else should automatically know you're trans. They may read you as female identified and just dressing up.
Though I haven't had this happen to me, since I'm androgynous and people usually can't tell what I am reliably enough to call me out on being in the "wrong" room (and I use both) if someone was to say to you things like "the lady's washroom is around the corner" or "you're in the wrong washroom," I would be more inclined to simply reply that no, you're not in fact in the wrong room. That clearly states that you are male.
Some people haven't had much experience with transfolk. They may not have been trying to be antagonistic. If you're uncomfortable being identified female because of your chest, have you tried binding it? That may help with people noticing your physique and assuming your gender.
I seem to get told that I act both like a gay man, and like a gay woman. How is that possible? You'd think they'd be polar opposites. But to be told I'm acting like the "opposite" gender, someone would have to tell me I'm acting like a woman OR a man. Both are fairly opposite to me. I perceive my behaviour as fairly femme.


I've been looking all over the internet for a chest binder that would fit someone my size. I've thought about binding it.


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C2V
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21 Jun 2017, 11:26 am

^ Transmasculine people recently poled (aka my ex-flatmate who was a transman) unanimously recommend underworks ---> http://www.underworks.com/ultimate-chest-binder-tank
I don't know what size you are that makes things difficult, but I have spoken to both slight and big guys who recommend this one. The small dudes can get a size that is actually small enough, and bigger dudes tend to like this one because it can be tucked in to keep in place. Plus it looks just like a regular tank.
People also say good things about this company ---> https://www.gc2b.co/
But I haven't heard as much about the effectiveness, comfort etc of these as the underworks.


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nick007
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21 Jun 2017, 9:57 pm

I've been told that before as a kid as well as being called gay because I don't conform to the male gender stereotype in some ways.


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21 Jun 2017, 11:54 pm

C2V wrote:
^ Transmasculine people recently poled (aka my ex-flatmate who was a transman) unanimously recommend underworks ---> http://www.underworks.com/ultimate-chest-binder-tank
I don't know what size you are that makes things difficult, but I have spoken to both slight and big guys who recommend this one. The small dudes can get a size that is actually small enough, and bigger dudes tend to like this one because it can be tucked in to keep in place. Plus it looks just like a regular tank.
People also say good things about this company ---> https://www.gc2b.co/
But I haven't heard as much about the effectiveness, comfort etc of these as the underworks.


Thank you for the link. I'll be saving up for one.


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22 Jun 2017, 12:45 am

it's unavoidable when all your friends have been of that opposite gender.


i just don't make friends of my gender. :ninja:


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23 Jun 2017, 7:51 pm

Yes. Yes I do.

My body is feminine and very much so, but my mannerisms are purely masculine. When I do feminine or camp stuff I just can't pull it off. It looks forced.

My mode of dress is androgynous (albeit skewing to the masculine), however I do have difficulty pulling off the look with my curves. Most people take me as female but honestly I don't really have an issue with that as I'm not "out" as trans yet and don't really have a pronoun preference.

I see myself as just a nonbinary genderqueer person, more masculine than feminine but not 100% male.


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