In a tough time, I feel quite good about myself right now.

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As with many Aspies, I recently realized, even when I was at the happiest of my times in life as an adult in 2013-14, that I've always made more than my share of social errors with people. However, I feel kind of good about myself right now, because I just had what might have been one of my better, most understanding, (while brief) conversations I've likely ever had in my life with a well, lovely (I don't know what other adjective to use that would sound less uncomfortable) 24-year old woman on Facebook whose name I will leave anonymous on this forum who, while she does not suffer from Asperger's, is recovering from severe depression, and is apparently going through the trouble of being inundated with bills. I'm not quite in the position to donate money to anyone, but my first thought when I saw a post about this woman is that, if she's on Facebook, maybe I could give her some positive words.

I really don't feel right posting our entire exchange either, since I'd hate for her to find it one day on Google in a search, and I can't imagine her reacting very well to that, but I really think, based on how I feel (at least from my view, which some of you could very well disagree with) I couldn't have chosen better words, she responded very understandingly to all three messages, and I ended my conversation at quite an appropriate time, though some of you might think I could have ended it just a bit sooner, and I was aiming at that.

However, in the past, I haven't always been the best at choosing every single word in just about every conversation I have had. And after I messaged her, I just wasn't sure if I had made the right choice. After telling her my name and where I was from, I told her I saw a post about her situation, and I said "in a world where so many judge people by mental issues, I can't imagine how tough it is for you at this time dealing with depression. I suffer not only from depression, but several other diagnoses as well, and it really makes living tough for me as well. If you ever need to talk about anything you are going through, just message me, and I will listen." However, after I sent the message, I began to be unsure if I made the right choice by messaging this young woman who might have felt uncomfortable by this stranger from far away messaging her from out of the blue and offering to talk.

She messaged me back right away, and said that while she really thanked me, and she really meant it, she's always been private about her feelings. That is something I could really relate to, as for the most part, over the past five years, though not as much in the past few weeks (besides this forum), I've been quite private about the things that are bothering me myself. I didn't go in as much detail I'm about to go into here on the forum to the girl when I messaged her back, but I went through a dark period of my life after my high school years where when Facebook first started, even though I had a car and a better income than I do now, I was quite often messaging friends and telling them how miserable I was, and about something that happened recently that just completely devastated me, most of the time it was getting turned down for a job or about a girl turning me down for a date. I think they felt I was talking to them like they had the power to make it better, but, I think really, I was just crying out for help. (I didn't go in near as much detail to the girl about this point.) It wasn't until 2012 that I really began to realize that it wasn't going to help much crying about my failures to others, and other things that bother me, such as things I felt stupid I did. However, over the past few weeks, which have overwhelmed me on many, many levels since my mother got hospitalized, I've had problem after problem mount, and there have been a few times when I've been extremely overwhelmed and unsure how to deal with it that I messaged a few of my most understanding friends on Facebook and tried to explain how overwhelming the situation was. So even lately, I still now and then find myself guilty sometimes of showering my problems on others. She said she knew exactly what I meant.

I began to feel it was only appropriate to try to end the conversation now so I wouldn't come across as a creep. I said "I was worried right after I first messaged you I might have made a mistake by messaging you, since I was worried someone you don't even know messaging you in this manner might be very uncomfortable, and I'm really sorry if this came off that way. However, I wish you the best of luck in the future, and my prayers are with you!". She responded with "No it didnt come across that way at all. You seemed to genuinely take an interest in what I'm going through. And that means a lot to me." She then thanked me. I was about to leave the conversation, but then it crossed my mind that I needed to show her I appreciate how she understood my words every step of the way when I said "Thanks for being understanding of me, in an era where it seems so few people seem to understand me. My prayers are with you."

I'm not planning to message this girl again by any means, since I don't feel like I need to bother her anymore in a tough time she is going through like this, but I really feel that, while I wasn't perfect with every word I could have chosen, I feel I did a better job choosing more of the right words in a conversation that I can remember, whether it be on an internet conversation, or an in-person conversation. Some of you may not agree, and feel free to if you don't, as I can definitely see some pointing out some flaws. However, I feel like I handled what could have been a very awkward situation I began to get myself into quite well, and I feel a little better about myself in an overwhelming, pressuring time when I feel like I haven't always been making the right decisions.

I think you did fine. And you even focused on gentle, easy leave-taking, which is kind of an advanced skill.

Of course, I'm sure you've been around the block and know not everyone is who they seem on the Internet. I personally wouldn't give money to someone I had known less than a year, but that's me, your mileage may vary. And Oh, yes, I'd very much view it as a gift. They can later help out someone else if they wish, but they don't need to repay me.

I think it would be fine for you to send her another friendly message anywhere in the broad time range of three days to a week or even two weeks. Maybe get to know her in a series of steps, some bigger, some smaller, and then one just never knows. Of course, if it feels promising. Some meetings and conversations are more one-time occurrences and that's okay, too.

Thank you so much for the positive words, Aardvark.

While I really wouldn't put it past ANYONE I don't know to be a scammer on the internet, this profile appears to be genuine, though I can't confirm the money making cause. However, even if I wanted to, with my current financial situation, and how it just isn't looking like it will get better anytime soon, it just wouldn't be practical for me to donate money to ANYONE right now.

While I would not mind getting to know this woman better, I just don't think I feel, based on what she told me on how she feels comfortable keeping feelings to herself, that it would be a particularly good idea to message her again and continue to talk to her occasionally. However, I'll continue to give it some thought. What do others think?