Inadequacy is killing me inside

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K_Kelly
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22 Jun 2017, 8:08 pm

I know I post these threads a lot sometimes. Blame my modest, not the best communication skills. I want somebody to personally PM me so I can discuss the topic in this thread, as long as someone asks for permission from me in this thread.

I pretty much know why I struggle with anxiety, discouragement, and loneliness in my life. I talked about the things I am lacking before, which is a car and driver's license, any of the even lowest-level employment (I never had a single employer before at all and I have been unskilled, but I can't wait for 18 whole months of college, and it only begins at the end of August), I'm way out of high school now (25 years old), and I'm below-average male stature or even considered properly "short", which I'm really 5'7". All of this summed up means that I'm absolutely inadequate, especially to the type of women I do want. I also have certain disabilities and my face can "look" a little different, especially because I also wear glasses.

Here's the issue. There was a situation at a weekly Asperger's social meetup that I brought up before. The girl who I was turned on by and wanted to get to know decided to see another guy who swooped her away quicker after he became a member of the group before I even had time to make a move. I can also say this is blamed on my social anxiety and processing problems. Not only that, but I feel inadequate compared to his boyfriend (in fact, I'd even say he's the least inadequate guy in the entire room). I think he's the luckiest guy at this point, and I am just one of the "unluckiest". He's 5'9" (although it doesn't sound like a huge difference, it's physically noticeable), played hockey for years (I'm a very un-athletic and uncoordinated, lower muscle tone), works a job, has a car where he actually drives this girl to and from the group, he's even 5 years younger than I am.

If I had to snap, I'd say that I wish he was a <5" midget, and he was unable to get a driver's license or even unable to have the ability to feel close and loving to her. The close and loving part is really sad too. I honestly just wish they weren't for each other in the first place. Or I'd wish that this girl was less "good-looking".

But how am I supposed to even forget about dating for now and stuff (like everyone and parents tell me) when I feel completely empty inside?

I just want to be able to flirt with every other woman, and not have to be in the "friend zone", and I want it sooner than next few months. I don't think I even have male connections right now that can immediately help me. Not going to a workplace can make this even harder. The social group is my only haven away from my reclusiveness. All my male friends will tell me that I should get a job anyway.

And even if I did meet a woman who had my similar interests and/or turned me on, at least a part of me will still feel inadequate about some things I mentioned above. My feelings of inadequacy go beyond the fact that I just might meet someone I like after all.

Otherwise, I don't feel why I should be living a good life, and learn to settle for a "lesser" life, which will suck.



kraftiekortie
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22 Jun 2017, 8:50 pm

I'm shorter than you. I can never hope to attain your 5 foot 7 height.

At least you're in college. That's good.

You mentioned you have some sort of physical ailment (correct me if I'm wrong), which you feel is preventing you from reaching your potential. If people knew what it was, perhaps somebody would be able to help you--making use of that knowledge.



K_Kelly
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22 Jun 2017, 9:11 pm

I'm not in college yet, it doesn't start until Fall.

We do know what my physical disability is (it's not exactly in "ailment", at least not in that severe sense), but I still don't know if/what I'm really capable of. First, it's a rare disorder.



kraftiekortie
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22 Jun 2017, 9:16 pm

At least you're GOING to college. Lots better than just sitting on your butt doing nothing for yourself.

"Inadequacy" is a relative term. To some people (mostly idiots), you might be inadequate. To others (probably most people beyond a certain age), you are an equal among equals.

You're truly inadequate if you feel you have to rob/steal, even with a roof over your head, in order to get what you want.



sly279
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23 Jun 2017, 10:36 pm

You still have a chance. You might be successful after college. Make sure you chose a degree that can get you a job you'll able to do. Find a girl in college.

I failed to do either and now I'm doomed.