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paintmepink
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24 Jun 2017, 3:22 am

When I'm with friends and family I never know what to say. Everybody is always gabbing and making jokes and my best come back is the word 'yeah'.

I'm terrible at this conversation thing :( I ask a lot of questions.



whatamievendoing
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24 Jun 2017, 6:04 am

I can relate. I find it very annoying sometimes.


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TheWarrior
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24 Jun 2017, 8:06 am

Same here.
Does your mind goes blank? Do you often forget things like your fone number or other common things when people ask you?



paintmepink
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24 Jun 2017, 8:10 am

TheWarrior wrote:
Same here.
Does your mind goes blank? Do you often forget things like your fone number or other common things when people ask you?


Uhh.. yes. I feel "stupid" and my friends "baby" me, in the sense that I can't figure out how to put together a swiffer wet jet. I can do an oil filter change!

Yes though, my mind goes blank and people walk away or just stare at me.



Triple_V
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24 Jun 2017, 1:43 pm

When am out and about never lnow how to interatc with others and is frustrating, but on internet can communicate like it easy :)



TheWarrior
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24 Jun 2017, 2:19 pm

paintmepink wrote:
TheWarrior wrote:
Same here.
Does your mind goes blank? Do you often forget things like your fone number or other common things when people ask you?


Uhh.. yes. I feel "stupid" and my friends "baby" me, in the sense that I can't figure out how to put together a swiffer wet jet. I can do an oil filter change!

Yes though, my mind goes blank and people walk away or just stare at me.

This is caused by anxiety. Very common amongst social anxiety sufferers, and social anxiety is kinda common amongst aspies since we're... different.

Anxiety can "shut down" areas of the brain that are responsible for processing complex logic and also certain memories. So that's why we get this blank mind and forget some basic informations.

To other people we look like idiots, and well you can't say they're wrong because they're looking at someone who can barely speak.



shortfatbalduglyman
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24 Jun 2017, 9:33 pm

Uhh.. yes. I feel "stupid" and my friends "baby" me, in the sense that I can't figure out how to put together a swiffer wet jet. I can do an oil filter change!

Yes though, my mind goes blank and people walk away or just stare at me.
__________________________________________________________________________________

at least you have friends. plural.

the most i have ever had was people that passive aggressively tolerated me. but rarely anyone that initiated as much interaction as me as vice versa.

when i was 27, i just had a support group. but they did not treat me like they treated eachother. they did not treat me how i wanted to be treated. they did not treat me how i thought i deserved to be treated. but they did not do anything illegal either.

so whatever.

get some counseling.

on the other hand, though. seriously.

sometimes it could be that precious lil "people" talk too much. and there are a lot of them, so that is the social norm.



auntblabby
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24 Jun 2017, 9:59 pm

paintmepink wrote:
When I'm with friends and family I never know what to say. Everybody is always gabbing and making jokes and my best come back is the word 'yeah'.

I'm terrible at this conversation thing :( I ask a lot of questions.

if you can ask and answer questions, you have what it takes to converse after a fashion. you just have to have acceptable questions and answers.



paintmepink
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24 Jun 2017, 10:30 pm

Very cool. Thanks boys.



fselzr
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25 Jun 2017, 5:58 pm

Me too. I only say what I want and when I want.



CharityGoodyGrace
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15 Jul 2017, 8:02 pm

I was at an Aspie gathering in Houston and I didn't know what to say and it was the worst thing, because our friends were gabbing and chattering at one end of the table and we quiet people were at the other end hardly having anything to say (and in the others' case, hardly saying anything for other reasons). I wanted so badly to join in the chattering at the other end of the table but was a bit shy because I didn't know how to break into it. Now I can do it, though. I think it had to do with meds knocking out certain parts of my brain.



hurtloam
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15 Jul 2017, 8:56 pm

I get that mind going blank thing as well. I'm not good at asking questions though. I don't want people to think I'm prying, so I don't ask questions or I just don't think to ask questions.

Sometimes when the conversation silver I think about the things I could have said and I wonder why I couldn't think of anything at the time.



auntblabby
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15 Jul 2017, 9:00 pm

I have found that people like to talk about themselves, so I just let them do the talking.



hurtloam
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15 Jul 2017, 9:04 pm

auntblabby wrote:
I have found that people like to talk about themselves, so I just let them do the talking.


That doesn't help with shy people though. I do seem to come across a lot of quiet types who I have trouble drawing out.

Also you can't just go up to someone say hello and get them to talk. Even if I say how have you been or what's new with you people don't have much to say. Maybe it's Brittish culture. I don't know.



auntblabby
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15 Jul 2017, 9:45 pm

hurtloam wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
I have found that people like to talk about themselves, so I just let them do the talking.


That doesn't help with shy people though. I do seem to come across a lot of quiet types who I have trouble drawing out. Also you can't just go up to someone say hello and get them to talk. Even if I say how have you been or what's new with you people don't have much to say. Maybe it's Brittish culture. I don't know.

I must admit I know nothing of British culture, but I've heard of British reserve. have you thought about visiting my side of the pond?



shortfatbalduglyman
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15 Jul 2017, 9:53 pm

I have found that people like to talk about themselves, so I just let them do the talking.
_____________________________________________________________________________

some of the time, some precious lil "people" love to talk about themselves, to other precious lil "people" that look and act just like the speakers.

some of those precious lil "people" completely ignore anyone that does not look or act just like them. then i feel kind of left out. marginalized. ignored. on the other hand, getting ignored might be "As Good As it Gets". :roll:

then some precious lil "people" are so full of themselves they can't stop talking about someone else's teeth, haircut, toenail polish. they act like they are so awesome that everything that goes through their brain is the latest greatest scientific invention.