How to approach one who is depressed

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When I was depressed I wanted people to sympathize with me. I wanted others to hear me out & feel like they understood & related on some level.

Two small things to consider:

1. When someone is going through something difficult, think of them as the center of a bulls-eye. The next circle out from that is the people they are closest to (maybe a partner, best friend). Then there is another circle with people who are still close, and so on until you have acquaintances on the outer rim. The rule goes like this; you can only complain towards the outside. So if you are the partner of the person affected by something, you cannot complain to them about their problem. If you are a friend, you cannot complain to the partner of the person who is at the center.

When they are telling you about their troubles, you can help by listening to their issues. Save your troubles for another conversation (I'm not good at knowing when it's ok to bring up my stuff so I literally save it for another day).

2. If someone is mentally ill and treating you poorly, try not to take it personally. They, as a person, are not being awful to you; their illness is. You can forgive them for this behaviour because it's not them. This part takes practice.


I'm really bad at reading people too and since finding out I'm ASD it's helped my friends know what they can expect from me. I wouldn't try to help anyone that doesn't know about the diagnosis because clearly we're not close enough.