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Niall
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

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Joined: 12 Feb 2011
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 478
Location: Forth Estuary Area, Western Palearctic Archipelago, Sol III, Orion Spur, Milky Way

29 Jun 2017, 2:24 pm

I seem to be watching a growing tendency towards “family-friendly” venues, like coffee shops and cafes.

To me, “family-friendly” is another way of saying “hostile sensory environment”, full of children running riot, and generally being antisocial.

I'm not one to argue that children should be “seen and not heard”, or even not seen, not heard and locked in a cupboard until they turn 18. They have to learn where to be responsible members of society somewhere, and I don't see why they should be excluded from public spaces, provided they're being responsible. I get autie kids having meltdowns, but I suspect these would be less common if so many supposedly public spaces were not grossly overstimulating.

The trouble is, running around screaming is not being responsible, and a proportion of parents seem to treat public spaces as an extension of a play park or a living room.

I know a lot of us avoid public spaces simply because they're overstimulating (see, for example, http://www.autism.org.uk/get-involved/t ... eport.aspx) and while much work is being done to make venues accessible for other forms of disability, many places seem to be going out of their way to make things worse for anyone who is sensitive to noise, in particular, whether that's by encouraging use as a playroom, or by turning music or radio up to DIN. My rule of thumb is that if I have to raise my voice to be heard over the music, it's too loud.

The employees in one coffee shop (name and shame: Machina Espresso in Edinburgh) even told me they turn the music volume up when it gets busy, which of course just means everyone has to shout to make themselves heard. I have the impression they are not the only ones.

This, to me, is a hostile sensory environment.

I've tried approaching parents, but the result of that has been anything from hostility to threats of violence, which simply made my social anxiety worse. I've tried writing to management, but nobody has had the courtesy to even write back.

It does occur to me that these places won't do anything until it affects their bottom line. The neurotypicals, including young ones, have plenty of places to make a din, from playparks to pubs, but even coffee shops, which I use, in part, so I'm not totally isolated, seem to be getting worse.

All I can think of is writing up comments on how accessible a venue is, both physically and in terms of the sensory environment, and posting on places like TripAdvisor. With poor reviews they might start acting (most people only look at the overall score anyway). It would also be helpful for other Auties (Aspies and our silent cousins) to know what venues are less likely to lead to meltdowns than others.

I suggest a campaign. The NAS in the UK has the Too Much Information campaign, which I regard as a small but inadequate step in the right direction: http://www.autism.org.uk/get-involved/tmi.aspx I'm thinking more about organised reviewing.

Does anyone have any other ideas?


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Stuck on some pre-FTL rationality-forsaken mudball in the Orion Spur. Ecological collapse (dominant-species induced major extinction event) imminent. Requesting passage to any post-scarcity biological civ. Beacon status: ACTIVE. Can tell stories.