Outrider wrote:
4.
Maybe it actually is? Indeed.
A lot of people are unhappy being single but are at least able.to distract their mind with their career and other aspects of adult life.
When you have mental.illness all aspects of life are harder.
So that NT who works 10hra a day might be distracted by his job but since I don't have a job and couldn't possibly work 10hrs a day what am Igoing to.do in those 10hrs? Yeah my hobbies but when I get.bored with that I think about how lonely I am.
Or how a lot of the men here don't have friends at all so a girlfriend would give them a social life because they're desperately lonely and depressed in general.
That's basically the thing, I think, you've mentioned before. - That most people can't understand that there is a difference between being single and having plenty of friends and being single and having no friends. It seems to me that it wouldn't occur to most 'normal' people that it is possible to be single because you can't find anyone and not by choice or that it is possible to not have any friends.
The few times I mentioned things irl that I think indicate pretty well that I don't have friends, people still continued to assume that I have a normal social life even though they must also have realized by then that I am quiet, weird and boring.
There was this one girl, a fellow student from university, who would sometimes talk to me because we took the same train home and her friends didn't. She once needed to borrow my phone because the battery of her's was empty and I mentioned I didn't know if mine was charged as I hadn't used it in over a month - yes I knew this sounds weird, just didn't care. She seemed slightly bewildered but wouldn't conclude that maybe I don't have (m)any friends and thus no one phones me. I also never mentioned any friends while we talked whereas she mentioned many activities she did with her friends. After I seemed clueless when she talked about some discos and other places where social people tend to go - and some of these places were near the university we studied at or 15 minutes away from my home (by car) - she just concluded that the both of us might like different music - not that maybe I don't go to discos because I don't have people to go with (wouldn't be my preferred place to go to anyway, but point is, she couldn't imagine that some people might not go to discos, just that some people might go to different discos than her).
No matter how little effort you bother to make to hide that you don't have friends people will assume you have a normal social life because they can't imagine that anyone might not.
Though it's only been the past few years I didn't bother much to hide how much is wrong with me. Before I was 18 1/2 or 19 I had social phobia that was bad enough to make me almost completely unable to talk to anyone but my family. I didn't seem less weird back then when I tried to not let people see that there's something seriously wrong with me.
I can sometimes get distracted by the things I need to do and that doesn't feel bad, but I can only do so for a limited amount of time. Then I get exhausted and lose motivation. If I keep doing thing that stress me too much I get psychosomatic pains and nausea which again gets exhausting and doesn't help with motivation. So yeah, I must seem quite lazy to those always active extroverts.
Yeah sorry, long and useless rant and maybe not completely relevant to the actual topic.
03 Nov 2017, 8:43 am
