Why do you think a relationship will make you happy?

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hurtloam
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02 Nov 2017, 1:57 am

ZachGoodwin wrote:
I'm gonna tell you what an old post from a website told me. Even though you look bad, what makes you look worse is if you give off this vibe of I'll always be a virgin and no one will ever love me. Dude really? No one will ever love you? We live in the 21st century, there will always be someone who loves you. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so you have to keep fishing. And hey, fishing isn't as easy as it seems, and that's one part of the analogy most people forgot. It won't be easy, but you do can get a fish in the end. You get zero fish when you stare at the water yelling at the fish to fly into your boat.


Some people don't seem to make any effort and they've got fish jumping right into their boat.

I'm honestly sick of being judged. I'd rather be known as happily single even if it's a lie than have people giving me stupid 'advice' like I'm too independent or some other criticism of my character.

That work you're referring to is to much like being constantly torn apart by other people who can't see anything to love in me and I don't want to play anymore.

I don't think any of my single female friends will find anyone either. So we'll just have our own little friendships and forget about what everyone else is doing.

We don't want to be single, but we're never good enough so what's the point? We don't even talk about guys we like anymore. It's just not a topic of conversation. That part of our lives is over and we will look for contentment instead of chasing the wind. I'm the last to get in board with the idea. They've been telling me for a few years just to let it go and enjoy my life.

I'll join the other sexually invisible women.



RetroGamer87
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02 Nov 2017, 2:40 am

hurtloam wrote:
ZachGoodwin wrote:
I'm gonna tell you what an old post from a website told me. Even though you look bad, what makes you look worse is if you give off this vibe of I'll always be a virgin and no one will ever love me. Dude really? No one will ever love you? We live in the 21st century, there will always be someone who loves you. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so you have to keep fishing. And hey, fishing isn't as easy as it seems, and that's one part of the analogy most people forgot. It won't be easy, but you do can get a fish in the end. You get zero fish when you stare at the water yelling at the fish to fly into your boat.


Some people don't seem to make any effort and they've got fish jumping right into their boat.

I'm honestly sick of being judged. I'd rather be known as happily single even if it's a lie than have people giving me stupid 'advice' like I'm too independent or some other criticism of my character.

That work you're referring to is to much like being constantly torn apart by other people who can't see anything to love in me and I don't want to play anymore.

I don't think any of my single female friends will find anyone either. So we'll just have our own little friendships and forget about what everyone else is doing.

We don't want to be single, but we're never good enough so what's the point? We don't even talk about guys we like anymore. It's just not a topic of conversation. That part of our lives is over and we will look for contentment instead of chasing the wind. I'm the last to get in board with the idea. They've been telling me for a few years just to let it go and enjoy my life.

I'll join the other sexually invisible women.


And people still say it's easy for women to get a partner? Haven't they noticed all the unhappily single women? Maybe you're as invisible as your post suggests.


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02 Nov 2017, 3:17 am

ZachGoodwin wrote:
I'm gonna tell you what an old post from a website told me. Even though you look bad, what makes you look worse is if you give off this vibe of I'll always be a virgin and no one will ever love me. Dude really? No one will ever love you? We live in the 21st century, there will always be someone who loves you. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so you have to keep fishing. And hey, fishing isn't as easy as it seems, and that's one part of the analogy most people forgot. It won't be easy, but you do can get a fish in the end. You get zero fish when you stare at the water yelling at the fish to fly into your boat.

No one will love me. I was looking through my pictures and I’m super ugly.

That is false comparison, a fishmman who goes fishing every day for 50 years , casting with different baits for hours in a fully stocked pond but never caught a single fish in that 50 years, is a better comparison to most our situations.

Most everyone catches fish when they go, never been fishing where we didn’t catch a few or atleast one.
Fly fishing take more skill but still I caught fish lol. Liked fly fishing more by the way more doing stuff. Anyways there may be plenty fish in the sea but don’t mesn youll catch any. We ugly aspies are like fishing without a hook.



sly279
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02 Nov 2017, 3:21 am

hurtloam wrote:
ZachGoodwin wrote:
I'm gonna tell you what an old post from a website told me. Even though you look bad, what makes you look worse is if you give off this vibe of I'll always be a virgin and no one will ever love me. Dude really? No one will ever love you? We live in the 21st century, there will always be someone who loves you. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so you have to keep fishing. And hey, fishing isn't as easy as it seems, and that's one part of the analogy most people forgot. It won't be easy, but you do can get a fish in the end. You get zero fish when you stare at the water yelling at the fish to fly into your boat.


Some people don't seem to make any effort and they've got fish jumping right into their boat.

I'm honestly sick of being judged. I'd rather be known as happily single even if it's a lie than have people giving me stupid 'advice' like I'm too independent or some other criticism of my character.

That work you're referring to is to much like being constantly torn apart by other people who can't see anything to love in me and I don't want to play anymore.

I don't think any of my single female friends will find anyone either. So we'll just have our own little friendships and forget about what everyone else is doing.

We don't want to be single, but we're never good enough so what's the point? We don't even talk about guys we like anymore. It's just not a topic of conversation. That part of our lives is over and we will look for contentment instead of chasing the wind. I'm the last to get in board with the idea. They've been telling me for a few years just to let it go and enjoy my life.

I'll join the other sexually invisible women.

There’s a certain fish that during a time of year will jump right into your boat.
But I get what you mean, just random fact fame to mind, weird aspie and all that.

I’m sure there’s lots of guys yiur friends deem not good enough, I bet they’d swipe left on a lot of guys with various reasons. You’re attractive, so I’d imagine they are too.id date them but they’d likely reject me.



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02 Nov 2017, 7:08 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
ZachGoodwin wrote:
I'm gonna tell you what an old post from a website told me. Even though you look bad, what makes you look worse is if you give off this vibe of I'll always be a virgin and no one will ever love me. Dude really? No one will ever love you? We live in the 21st century, there will always be someone who loves you. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so you have to keep fishing. And hey, fishing isn't as easy as it seems, and that's one part of the analogy most people forgot. It won't be easy, but you do can get a fish in the end. You get zero fish when you stare at the water yelling at the fish to fly into your boat.


Some people don't seem to make any effort and they've got fish jumping right into their boat.

I'm honestly sick of being judged. I'd rather be known as happily single even if it's a lie than have people giving me stupid 'advice' like I'm too independent or some other criticism of my character.

That work you're referring to is to much like being constantly torn apart by other people who can't see anything to love in me and I don't want to play anymore.

I don't think any of my single female friends will find anyone either. So we'll just have our own little friendships and forget about what everyone else is doing.

We don't want to be single, but we're never good enough so what's the point? We don't even talk about guys we like anymore. It's just not a topic of conversation. That part of our lives is over and we will look for contentment instead of chasing the wind. I'm the last to get in board with the idea. They've been telling me for a few years just to let it go and enjoy my life.

I'll join the other sexually invisible women.


And people still say it's easy for women to get a partner? Haven't they noticed all the unhappily single women? Maybe you're as invisible as your post suggests.


Where are the unhappily single women?

They're not just invisible, they must be choosing to hide and are master ninjas.

Hurtloam is the only single woman on Wrongplant who actually complains she doesn't like it, Slw1990 use to say shes unhappy being single but got herself a boyfriend.

Two women, compared to what, the hundreds of men who have passed through here with dating woes?

Or how all over the internet its women telling other women a relationship won't make you happy, and all the other women agreeing.

Many women here on Wrongplanet are even agreeing men tend to need women more.

Chronos, Campin_Cat, Hale_bopp, wanderlust and some others have said something like that.

Plus there's all the girls I've met in real life who don't want or need to have anything to do with men.

Where are you, young master ninja women who hate being single? :lol:



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02 Nov 2017, 7:15 am

Outrider wrote:
Where are you, young master ninja women who hate being single? :lol:


Usually they're in relationships, lol.



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02 Nov 2017, 8:13 am

Outrider wrote:
Where are the unhappily single women?

They're not just invisible, they must be choosing to hide and are master ninjas.

In real life I hardly ever hear anyone, no matter what gender, say they can't find a partner but need someone to be happy. Seems not to be socially acceptable to admit this to strangers, acquaintances or non-close friends.

Outrider wrote:
Hurtloam is the only single woman on Wrongplant who actually complains she doesn't like it, Slw1990 use to say shes unhappy being single but got herself a boyfriend.

Two women, compared to what, the hundreds of men who have passed through here with dating woes?

It's not often either, but sometimes women who don't post in L&D complained about being unhappily single in the Haven.
If I wanted to complain about being unhappily single, I'd probably not do so on WP (I've never had a boyfriend and, no, I could not easily change that) What would happen if I did complain here? There are a few men on here who believe the only possible reason why a woman wouldn't have dozens of men wanting to be her boyfriend, is because she's morbidly obese. I'm not in the mood to explain to anyone that, no, 56kg at 1.69m is not morbidly obese and that, consequently, there must be other possible reasons. Alternatively, I must be some stuck-up b***h with unreasonable expectations. <- Just as an example. There are several other possible outcomes but chances are discussing it here wouldn't be particularly useful for me.

Not saying that my situation is the same as that of the men who are close to or in their 30s and never had a girlfriend. It certainly is not. I'm also not as depressed/sad as some here seem to be, but that does not mean I prefer being single.

Outrider wrote:
Or how all over the internet its women telling other women a relationship won't make you happy, and all the other women agreeing.

Don't a lot of men do that too on the internet? Isn't there a lot of men who only want one night stands and encourage other men to do the same?

Outrider wrote:
Many women here on Wrongplanet are even agreeing men tend to need women more.

Chronos, Campin_Cat, Hale_bopp, wanderlust and some others have said something like that.

On WP it'd certainly seem like this is the case. Maybe it actually is.



hurtloam
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02 Nov 2017, 8:57 am

NorthWind wrote:

In real life I hardly ever hear anyone, no matter what gender, say they can't find a partner but need someone to be happy. Seems not to be socially acceptable to admit this to strangers, acquaintances or non-close friends.

Outrider wrote:
Hurtloam is the only single woman on Wrongplant who actually complains she doesn't like it, Slw1990 use to say shes unhappy being single but got herself a boyfriend.

Two women, compared to what, the hundreds of men who have passed through here with dating woes?

It's not often either, but sometimes women who don't post in L&D complained about being unhappily single in the Haven.
If I wanted to complain about being unhappily single, I'd probably not do so on WP (I've never had a boyfriend and, no, I could not easily change that) What would happen if I did complain here? There are a few men on here who believe the only possible reason why a woman wouldn't have dozens of men wanting to be her boyfriend, is because she's morbidly obese. I'm not in the mood to explain to anyone that, no, 56kg at 1.69m is not morbidly obese and that, consequently, there must be other possible reasons. Alternatively, I must be some stuck-up b***h with unreasonable expectations. <- Just as an example. There are several other possible outcomes but chances are discussing it here wouldn't be particularly useful for me.


Totally this. I don't hear people talking about this in real life. No one wants to be the lonely weirdo. It's more dignified to say you've chosen to be single rather than 'I've been constantly rejwcted' single.

Also a good point on why women don't post in L & D.



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02 Nov 2017, 9:00 am

1. Agreed, it isn't socially acceptable.

That's the bad thing.

If everyone pretends to be happy single less people probably pair up.

2. you're right.. Women who do complain of being single probly aren't as welcome as they should be.

But it just seems to be rare for a woman too in the first place, real life or online.

3.
Yes men do.too.

Women.on the internet say a relationship won't make younhappy. Men say eomen are only good for sexual gratification and not worth the sacrifice it takes to date or marry.

Like Sly said I think most people lie about being satisfied single, but a minority are.

A lot of.these pickup artist men who say women are "only" good for sex are in their mid to late 20s and all end up married with kids sooner or later.

Most who claim to be happy single are 18-28 and we all know of course young people tend to be more content being single. Poor niave young people.

4.

Maybe it actually is? Indeed.

A lot of people are unhappy being single but are at least able.to distract their mind with their career and other aspects of adult life.

When you have mental.illness all aspects of life are harder.

So that NT who works 10hra a day might be distracted by his job but since I don't have a job and couldn't possibly work 10hrs a day what am Igoing to.do in those 10hrs? Yeah my hobbies but when I get.bored with that I think about how lonely I am.

Or how a lot of the men here don't have friends at all so a girlfriend would give them a social life because they're desperately lonely and depressed in general.



hurtloam
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02 Nov 2017, 10:58 am

I disagree. It seems to me older people are happier single. In my lifetime (bear in mind I'm 36) I have seen young people excited and enthusiastic about relationships (usually kind of shirt term at that age) but older people being put off relationships due to actually having experienced a few long term ones.

They've been through all the ups and downs of a relationship and decided they would rather be alone, even the ones who stay with their partner for whatever personal reasons, they long to be alone.

Or there are those who hoped they would meet someone and never did and have got used to single life. They're happier than the ones in bad relationships I've noticed.



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02 Nov 2017, 12:03 pm

NorthWind wrote:
Outrider wrote:
Where are the unhappily single women?

They're not just invisible, they must be choosing to hide and are master ninjas.

In real life I hardly ever hear anyone, no matter what gender, say they can't find a partner but need someone to be happy. Seems not to be socially acceptable to admit this to strangers, acquaintances or non-close friends.

Outrider wrote:
Hurtloam is the only single woman on Wrongplant who actually complains she doesn't like it, Slw1990 use to say shes unhappy being single but got herself a boyfriend.

Two women, compared to what, the hundreds of men who have passed through here with dating woes?

It's not often either, but sometimes women who don't post in L&D complained about being unhappily single in the Haven.
If I wanted to complain about being unhappily single, I'd probably not do so on WP (I've never had a boyfriend and, no, I could not easily change that) What would happen if I did complain here? There are a few men on here who believe the only possible reason why a woman wouldn't have dozens of men wanting to be her boyfriend, is because she's morbidly obese. I'm not in the mood to explain to anyone that, no, 56kg at 1.69m is not morbidly obese and that, consequently, there must be other possible reasons. Alternatively, I must be some stuck-up b***h with unreasonable expectations. <- Just as an example. There are several other possible outcomes but chances are discussing it here wouldn't be particularly useful for me.

Not saying that my situation is the same as that of the men who are close to or in their 30s and never had a girlfriend. It certainly is not. I'm also not as depressed/sad as some here seem to be, but that does not mean I prefer being single.

Outrider wrote:
Or how all over the internet its women telling other women a relationship won't make you happy, and all the other women agreeing.

Don't a lot of men do that too on the internet? Isn't there a lot of men who only want one night stands and encourage other men to do the same?

Outrider wrote:
Many women here on Wrongplanet are even agreeing men tend to need women more.

Chronos, Campin_Cat, Hale_bopp, wanderlust and some others have said something like that.

On WP it'd certainly seem like this is the case. Maybe it actually is.



According to some women on WP, 99% of guys, especially those they meet online are psychos and sociopaths.
Which is statistically impossible of course.

So.... no offense wp ladies, but I take the words of a lot of you with grain of salt.



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02 Nov 2017, 4:13 pm

sly279 wrote:
ZachGoodwin wrote:
I'm gonna tell you what an old post from a website told me. Even though you look bad, what makes you look worse is if you give off this vibe of I'll always be a virgin and no one will ever love me. Dude really? No one will ever love you? We live in the 21st century, there will always be someone who loves you. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so you have to keep fishing. And hey, fishing isn't as easy as it seems, and that's one part of the analogy most people forgot. It won't be easy, but you do can get a fish in the end. You get zero fish when you stare at the water yelling at the fish to fly into your boat.

No one will love me. I was looking through my pictures and I’m super ugly.

That is false comparison, a fishmman who goes fishing every day for 50 years , casting with different baits for hours in a fully stocked pond but never caught a single fish in that 50 years, is a better comparison to most our situations.

Most everyone catches fish when they go, never been fishing where we didn’t catch a few or atleast one.
Fly fishing take more skill but still I caught fish lol. Liked fly fishing more by the way more doing stuff. Anyways there may be plenty fish in the sea but don’t mesn youll catch any. We ugly aspies are like fishing without a hook.


You haven't been doing it for 50 years Sly.

If a fisherman went for a long time without catching anything while other fishermen caught fish in the same pond, I'd suggest that fisherman should change his techniques.

Maybe you need a different bait. Plenty of rich ugly men have wives. The best solution for you would be to get more money. Yes, I'm already aware that it's hard for people like us to earn a good salary. It's hard for me too but I keep going because it causes me to get twenty times more attention from women.

If you earn it, they will come.


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02 Nov 2017, 4:27 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
ZachGoodwin wrote:
I'm gonna tell you what an old post from a website told me. Even though you look bad, what makes you look worse is if you give off this vibe of I'll always be a virgin and no one will ever love me. Dude really? No one will ever love you? We live in the 21st century, there will always be someone who loves you. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so you have to keep fishing. And hey, fishing isn't as easy as it seems, and that's one part of the analogy most people forgot. It won't be easy, but you do can get a fish in the end. You get zero fish when you stare at the water yelling at the fish to fly into your boat.

No one will love me. I was looking through my pictures and I’m super ugly.

That is false comparison, a fishmman who goes fishing every day for 50 years , casting with different baits for hours in a fully stocked pond but never caught a single fish in that 50 years, is a better comparison to most our situations.

Most everyone catches fish when they go, never been fishing where we didn’t catch a few or atleast one.
Fly fishing take more skill but still I caught fish lol. Liked fly fishing more by the way more doing stuff. Anyways there may be plenty fish in the sea but don’t mesn youll catch any. We ugly aspies are like fishing without a hook.


You haven't been doing it for 50 years Sly.

If a fisherman went for a long time without catching anything while other fishermen caught fish in the same pond, I'd suggest that fisherman should change his techniques.

Maybe you need a different bait. Plenty of rich ugly men have wives. The best solution for you would be to get more money. Yes, I'm already aware that it's hard for people like us to earn a good salary. It's hard for me too but I keep going because it causes me to get twenty times more attention from women.

If you earn it, they will come.


Why does no one listen to sly when he says he struggles with even working part time.

I've been there. When I was in my early 20s I burned out and took a year out for medical reasons. Thankfully I had my parents to support me.

I burned out again last year and had to switch careers.

The stress. I can't put into words. My triggers probably aren't the same as sky's, but work life has been really hard on me emotionally and physically.



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02 Nov 2017, 4:42 pm

I get really stressed too. I know people who work 12, 16 or even 20 hours per day yet a mere 8 hour day makes me feel exhausted :(


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02 Nov 2017, 7:40 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
I get really stressed too. I know people who work 12, 16 or even 20 hours per day yet a mere 8 hour day makes me feel exhausted :(

With travel time I, gone 8 hours a day. If I worked 8 I’d be gone 12 hours a day. I’d leave around 10 am and get back around 10:30pm.
I’m exhausted after a 5 hour shift. Half the time feel like quitting.

So there’s not good paying full time job in my future. Which most the advice offered to me relies on happening. And since that kind of job isn’t in my future neither is owning car, mother p, moped or similar thing. Bus is about all I can afford and that’s cause I pay half price. Otherwise it’d be a stretch affording it.
Half my income from work goes to the government. So I make 800 a month but get to keep $400 plus 700 from ssi, so I make 1,100 a month. Car payments are at least $400 a month. Then another $200 or so for insurance on Asia’s car,
Oh and i dont know about over there, but here we can only have 2,000 in wealth, so I can only buy a car with 2,000 or less. And since I can only have 2,000 saved up. I can’t even do that cause it’s $300 to transfer title, register tag and plate a car. So leaves 1,700. Right now they gave me money ow they want it back, so dealing with that drama, now I have to prove where it all went. Instead of them just saying we f****d up and told him it was his money over and over two weeks ago, so now my life will be dissected more then they do when you first apply to get on ssi over $380. Yay freaking hate my life. So my cats going die, cause we have 350 for his surgery but now I probably have to give them that money.



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02 Nov 2017, 8:04 pm

life is easier with a loving helpmate.