Waking up crying

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I think I'm in the midst of a slow motion meltdown. Slow motion because the meds I take are making it less intense, but I feel awful.
Last Thursday I finished this really hard part of this course that I am trying to finish. I became a bit manic and then collapsed and slept until yesterday. And then I started crying, which lasted for a few hours. This morning the same thing. I am feeling better now, but still really weird.
I don't know what the hell is going on with me. I only have the last bit of this course to finish and then I can apply for a job. I want to move forward with this, but my mind just won't kick into gear.

Im sorry you're going through this.

This seems like anxiety because it was a difficult part of the course, causing meltdown symptoms.

Or maybe a reaction to the medication?

I hope you are able to complete the course, despite what you're going through.

Thanks.


I think so. It was the practicum. I typed 924 reports of increasing difficulty. The last 100 or so were brutal.


That too, I think. Also I think I have a lot to process. Memories and such. I am in a relatively safe environment, at my Mom's, so I am letting down my guard a bit.


I will complete this course if I am typing with "my cold dead hands." Lol

I honestly feel that your determination will get you through this.

When is your final exam?

As soon as I finish this last unit. Editing. According to posters on the school forum, it is easy compared with the previous material. My goal is to finish by the end of the summer, which I think is achievable.

I really hope the school is diligent when it comes to assisting you in getting a job in the field.

They do have postgraduate support; I have already got an employer in mind, though - a work-from-home transcription company.

Sounds like you have been pushing yourself really hard.It could be stress.Maybe take a break for a day and do something you enjoy.

I kinda had to. I have moved on to the final module, Editing, but often I find myself just staring at the screen.

I have stopped crying in the mornings, so that's good.

I have to keep pushing through this course though. I am still staying with my Mom and I have to start bringing money in. I have disability support, but it is not a lot.

I turn 47 years old this month and I am taking a course while staying with my Mom rent free. Urggg. I have worked before, but I always succumb to the social strains. I hope that doesn't happen this time.

Congrats on all the work you have accomplished ,you certainly deserve to treat yourself when you finish.
The social strain was what messed me up when I worked,not doing the work,but all the socializing.Hopefully you can find a position that doesn't include much social interaction.

Thank you. The course has been much harder than I expected.

That's my plan. Medical Editing can be done at home. There is no way I can successfully interact with others in a work environment, even medicated.

I had a part-time job similar to your field a while ago. It involved editing nursing reports.

Cool. I'm training to edit doctors' records of appointments and procedures.

I would say, within a week or two, that it will seem "old hat" to you.

Many things are standardized. Most of the time, people are diagnosed with things like COPD, Type II Diabetes, Congestive Heart Failure (CHF), and High Blood Pressure (usually abbreviated HTN).

The medications are pretty standardized, too.