What part of your identity was easier for you to accept?

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EC0508
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06 Jul 2017, 1:26 pm

What was more comfortable for you to come to terms with? Your sexuality/gender identity or your diagnoses on the ASD/mental health spectrum?

Not sure if I penned that correctly (I'm still new here). The reason I ask is I accepted my sexuality nearly ten years ago, but my mental health has always been a struggle and puzzle for me, until I've recently discovered my likelihood on the spectrum. Everyone else?



crystaltermination
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11 Jul 2017, 8:00 am

I've never encountered any titanic struggle with my sexuality. On the other hand mental health has been the proverbial thorn in my side since the age of twelve to the present; it is hard for me to acknowledge that unending darkness. As for ASD, well, I do feel resentful knowing now as I do that this unchangeable part of me is partly to blame for how difficult I find it connecting to and talking to others - it seriously affects my relationships.


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TheSilentOne
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27 Jul 2017, 3:27 pm

It was definitely easier to accept my Autism, even though I only started to a couple of years ago. I'm still having trouble accepting that I like girls as well as guys. Even though my close family is very liberal, my extended family is quite conservative and I fear how they would react if one day they found out. With my Autism, however, they all view it as a fact and something I can't change. Unfortunately, they think you can change your sexual orientation, even though you definitely cannot.


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Noca
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31 Jul 2017, 3:38 pm

My sexuality is harder to accept mainly because my family is so homophobic/extreme right wing conservatives.


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EscapingTheCrowd
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13 Oct 2017, 11:43 pm

For me both were confusing and hard to accept. I still don't know if I have autism or not, but I strongly suspect that I may be on the spectrum. I'm not quite sure what my sexuality is. I think it's mostly lesbian. I accepted that I wasn't straight after the anxiety caused by my attraction to women took a toll on my mental health. After accepting my attraction to women, it was easier to look at myself and realize I may have to accept that I am likely to be autistic as well. Right now what bothers me is my uncertainty over my sexuality, and the workings of my own mind. I fear that I have a low IQ, or that I won't find fulfillment in a relationship. I don't like the confusion of trying to figure out my attractions. I've never been in love with a man in the way I've been in love with a women, but I still find them attractive sometimes. Sometimes I wish that I was easer to define. But then I realize I would be boring.



thewheel
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14 Oct 2017, 9:50 am

Neither was hard to accept per se; my problem was understanding what was "wrong", my lack of introspection.

In hindsight there were signs I was gay for quite some time, crushes/interest in porn etc, but it took until the end of secondary school (high school) to really understand. Other people's opinions didn't concern me much except in self-preservation terms; once I left for university I felt less need to hide it. But learning I was gay itself was not a problem, it is just who I am.

I've always had problems interacting with people, it's never been satisfying, but it is only as a result of related mental health issues that I eventually got diagnosed as aspie at 28. Again it wasn't difficult to accept as I knew something was off, I just never connected the dots as it were.


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