How would you like to have been treated throughout school

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jabub
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09 Jul 2017, 10:19 am

I am putting together a presentation I can take around schools (currently doing research)to hopefully assist those with Autism to be better understood regarding their needs whilst attending school.
I have an 8 year old son who is Autistic and have become increasingly more aware he is often very misunderstood and Im getting a little tired now of repeatedly having to defend him.
The presentation will be for teachers teaching assistants support staff, therapists...and anyone else in the schools students have contact with.Id be grateful if you can answer all or any of the following questions and if there are any you would like to add please feel free.Thank you in advance for your help.

1.How would you have liked to have been treated in school when you were younger (age 4-11)and now 11 and above)?

2.What didnt Neurotypicals grasp about you..... that you wished they had and/or still wish they do?
Examples welcomed

3.What Sensory difficulties did you struggle to cope with that werent understood or misunderstood? (Please give an example from your own experience if applicable and what could have helped).

4.How were you or your intentions misunderstood? Examples please.

5.What cognitive problems or problems with understanding that you may have had...did they not grasp?
Please explain

6.How could your life in school have been or be made easier?
e.g an area of specific support-explain.
Certain accomodations-explain

7.Did you or do you enjoy school? (If No please give an explanation why).

7.What made your school life harder with regard to any of the above?



Last edited by jabub on 09 Jul 2017, 2:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ASPartOfMe
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09 Jul 2017, 1:42 pm

I went to school in the 60's and the 70's at a time of no knowledge of anything but severe autism and no special education.

1.How would you have liked to have been treated in school when you were younger (age 4-11)and now 11 and above)?
I think teachers should in general with the important exceptions I will discuss below treat them I was treated as an individual, a "painfully shy" "different" neurotypical (no concept of neurotypical then) with his needs but I was expected to learn the same things at the same pace as everybody else. No 25 to 40 hours of Applied Behavioral Analysis thank God.

2.What didnt Neurotypicals grasp about you that you wished they had and/or still wish they do?.
Pretty much what I did not grasp about myself, pretty much everything about how my mind works.

3.What Sensory difficulties did you struggle to cope with that werent understood or misunderstood?
Touch for me but then again I had no idea I was different

4.How were you or your intentions misunderstood?
Niceness was thought to be naivete and weakness. Nothing much has changed.

5.What cognitive problems or problems with understanding that you may have had...did they not grasp?
Multitasking, Conversations with groups of people. Thankfully there was a lot less group work and open classrooms then.

6.How could your life in school have been or be made easier
A no bullying policy instead of the "boys will be boys" and if you can not deal with it you are weak attitude prevalent at the time.

7.Did you or do you enjoy school?
No

8.What made your school life harder with regard to any of the above?
See number 6

My own rant not only about how autistic kids but kids in are dealt with general are dealt with today.
Stop the damm fear and the resulting micromanaging determining everything. We were allowed a degree of independence that would get parents arrested for child abuse today (allowed to walk several blocks by ourselves at age 6, we determined what games we played). This independence taught me what worked and did not work for me. Yes if I erred I had to deal with consequences and to a degree that is a necessary part of learning.


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jabub
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09 Jul 2017, 2:19 pm

ASPartOfMe
Thank you for your reply..really appreciated.I Hope your recovery is going well.



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09 Jul 2017, 6:57 pm

jabub wrote:
ASPartOfMe
Thank you for your reply..really appreciated.I Hope your recovery is going well.

You are welcome, Thanks


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CharityGoodyGrace
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14 Jul 2017, 1:58 am

If someone had only told me the type of embarrassing moments I had were had by everyone, I'd have been happy and outgoing and myself and perhaps even popular. Otherwise, I wanted the adults to leave me alone and not worry about me. They caused more damage than good. Way more, and I'm still reeling from it 13 years later.



jabub
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14 Jul 2017, 5:43 am

CharityGoodyGrace wrote:
If someone had only told me the type of embarrassing moments I had were had by everyone, I'd have been happy and outgoing and myself and perhaps even popular. Otherwise, I wanted the adults to leave me alone and not worry about me. They caused more damage than good. Way more, and I'm still reeling from it 13 years later.


Thank you CharityGood Grace. Can you be more specific and give examples as it may be able to help others who find themeselves in the same or similar situation.If you can answer my questions above Id really appreciate it.

Thanks Sonia



CharityGoodyGrace
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14 Jul 2017, 7:02 am

Hi, Sonia! Yes... my mom got me a diagnosis because I was shy in school and not performing well enough academically, though I was just failing one subject (math). It was the worst thing ever for me, because people thought because I was autistic that I had this or that trait that I didn't have that was really bad, and they thought I was less than because of it. Even when they didn't... they did, know what I mean?

I would also have loved it if the staff had kept my private confidential info confidential and not told me SCHOOL ENEMIES about my autism.



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14 Jul 2017, 10:51 am

CharityGoodyGrace wrote:
I would also have loved it if the staff had kept my private confidential info confidential and not told me SCHOOL ENEMIES about my autism.


Have you contacted a lawyer about this?


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CharityGoodyGrace
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14 Jul 2017, 1:02 pm

There was no proof he did it. :( It was the f*****g vice principal, and the other staff covered for him.



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14 Jul 2017, 3:27 pm

I wonder if they would cover for him under legal oath.


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cyberdad
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14 Jul 2017, 8:10 pm

CharityGoodyGrace wrote:
I would also have loved it if the staff had kept my private confidential info confidential and not told me SCHOOL ENEMIES about my autism.


This is contentious as in my daughter's school the students in her class (and other teachers) were told about her autism in order for them to understand her behavior. There are some things a parent has to compromise in order their autistic child is included in mainstream school



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15 Jul 2017, 6:21 am

I would have been included in mainstream school anyway, and the vice principal told those TWO enemies PRIVATELY in the OFFICE to not pick on me because I was autistic. f**k that. I was never before so humiliated. Going to that school was not worth that even if it had been mandatory. And no, my parents didn't think it was okay either, and even if they had it would have been and been supposed to be under God my choice. I'm SO glad the whole class wasn't told tho, and that later a resource teacher covered for ME and said "I don't know what you're talking about, her CONDITION."



CharityGoodyGrace
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15 Jul 2017, 6:21 am

Oh, and I had NO wierd behavior in school except extreme shyness.



Sofisol612
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30 Jul 2017, 1:48 pm

I finished high school in 2013, so my experience is quite recent, if somewhat atypical. I have been diagnosed with PDD NOS at the age of 4 and I didn't have too many typical autism symptoms, but I did have a lot of problematic behaviors.

1) For elementary school, I wish my teachers had not punished me for my emotional meltdowns, which I had very often, almost every time I had an argument with my classmates, or when I got frustrated with myself for not doing something right. However, when a fight was the trigger of my meltdowns I would become violent and hit the other kids, so I understand the reason for the punishments. I also wish my teachers hadn't scolded me for choosing to spend some recesses reading quietly by myself (sometimes they forced me to go and socialize with the other girls).
For middle and high school I wish I had not been bullied (as a consecuence of being bullied I developed social anxiety, and it took me many years to get over that trauma). I also wish working in groups had not been mandatory: I'm ususally much better when working on my own.

2) I guess the "uneven cognitive profile" was the hardest thing to get: I was great for some subjects that cought my interest but absolutely sucked at the others. My behavior was also much better during the classes I liked, and it worsened a lot during the ones that made me feel useless, such as P.E.

3) My sensory issues are unusual and mainly provoked by really loud noises (like fireworks or popping balloons). It was not a problem at school. I'm also hypersensitive to temperatures, so I hated our winter uniform with its short skirt, and the fact that we were not allowed to stay inside during recess: I spent many of them shivering and just waiting until I could go to class again.

4) Sometimes, when I was little, I would ask or say things that were considered rude by others. After years of experience in socializing this has got better, though.

5) I didn't know (and still don't) how to be assertive in a group. In primary school I tried to impose my ideas when I worked with peers, which led to disagreements and meltdowns. As a teenager, I let everyone else decide everything and contributed as little as possible, to avoid arguments. I also have problems with paying attention (I suspect I also have ADHD, but haven't been diagnosed). I have executive function problems which interfered with homework and with delivering messages from the school to my parents, so then I was blamed for the communication problems (this happened when I was 10).

6) A no-bullying policy might have helped, as well as teachers getting more involved with students' interactions, instead of appearing only when it was time to punish me for hitting someone. I also might have been able to understand my struggles better if my parents had told me about my diagnosis (sadly, they kept it from me until this very year, so I grew up wondering what was "wrong" with me.

7) I enjoyed some subjects, but not school as a whole.

8 ) Bullying was very traumatic for me, and it caused me to have suicidal thoughts when I was 13. I seldom think about that anymore, but the damage it inflicted to my self-esteem has not healed, and I am 21 now.

Well, as I said, my case is unusual, but I hope it serves at least to show that we are all different and accomodations should be based on individuals and not just diagnostic cstegories.

Good luck to you and your child!


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leniorose
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11 Aug 2017, 6:37 am

I generally found the transition between middle school and high school difficult. I had this one teacher that I just couldn't stand, who always called me out when I was upset. Calling me out, in front of the class, just made things worse.



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11 Aug 2017, 9:05 am

I left school in England the year the camberwell study was produced, no diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome in those days.

I had no social skills worth talking about and even less friends, they like football and kicking the crap out of me, I like hiding from them and astronomy.

I just wanted some slack cutting and for people to stop calling me names and hitting me. I think the teachers thought I was "marde" (North of England dialect for soft, a cry baby) who was bright, but for some unknown reason did not apply himself in the class room. I hated school, it was a horrible dangerous place which taught me other children would and could hurt me if they could and that being honest and telling the truth could get you into trouble....and absolutely nothing else. School did nothing for me educationally, I taught myself as an adult. I am qualified to masters level.

Sorry, thats the best I can do :(


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