Page 1 of 1 [ 4 posts ] 

Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 24 May 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 178
Location: Bc Canada

09 Jul 2017, 7:57 pm

I want to talk to other queer aspie women. I want to know how to talk to other women.


User avatar

Joined: 12 Mar 2011
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 308

10 Jul 2017, 6:31 pm

I don't think I've ever called myself "queer" but I am in a same-sex relationship so I guess the shoe fits.

I'm not sure how much help I can be as I don't think I'm very good at talking to women other than my partner and even then things aren't always so clear between us. NT women are very communication oriented. They read into your body language, tone of voice, and everything.

I've only been out a few years, I was previously married to a man. The few women I've dated I met online. The online part would seem to go fine but when it progressed to the in-person phase, it just tanked. I could tell they were put off within the first couple of minutes...and I'm not unattractive or smelly :lol: ... so I know they were picking up on something "off" about me. Of course, all of them were NT, I probably would have done better with an Aspie woman.

In fact, it was during this dating phase that I came to realize I was an Aspie. Pretty much every woman was reacting the same way toward me so this caused me to deduce that something wasn't "right" on my end of the equation. I got some clues from what some of them said...especially when they were making the move to cut me loose. I consulted a professional who clued me in that I'm probably the only one who didn't know...maybe not all the NTs know specifically what it is but they know we're not NT real quick.

Eventually, I met an NT woman who was ok with me being odd and we've been together for over 6 years now. She's learned that she has to talk to me differently because I just don't "get it".

Something that I think I've come upon that helps my interactions with people go smoother is I now really play up my nerdy image. I stopped wearing contact lenses and got glasses with thick, black frames and I almost always wear a nerdy t-shirt (Star Wars, Dr. Who, etc). Kind of just broadcasting so people know what to expect.

Unicycling Ninja
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 24 Jul 2017
Age: 20
Gender: Female
Posts: 5

24 Jul 2017, 1:48 pm

I'm Aro Ace (aromantic asexual) so I would definately consider myself LGBT+ but I am in a platonic relationship with a guy.
I'd say try to become friends first, and only actually start dating when you know you get along, takes out a lot of stress.
As to where to find other lesbian/bi girls, maybe have a look if there are any LGBT organisations close to you? I only know that my hometown has various youth clubs, a few general gay social meeting groups and one or two LGBT sports clubs so maybe you're lucky in yours as well

Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 6 Mar 2015
Posts: 77
Location: Canada

25 Jul 2017, 9:04 pm

I am. But don't even ask me how to talk to girls... girls, guys, non-binaries... I like all of the genders, but still can't find one person in any of them who wants to date me! :? I've been told I'm quite charming over messaging, (I usually meet girls online, but now I can't even do that anymore because I had to shut down my accounts so that sucks,) but once people meet me things seem to get real platonic real fast. In texts it's easy for me to be bold and to say just the right things, but in person I haven't a clue, and I get too nervous and embarrassed to say anything flirty or romantic at all for the most part, and the physical stuff-- forget it... I short-circuit just trying to hold hands.... ugh... Care to commiserate?