Regret

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I lost the love of my life due to me being an idiot and idk if i will ever get her back. All this time i was blaming her without realizing just how big a part i had in the downfall of everything. I could have done way better to say the least and i am ashamed of some of the things i said afterwards. She was amazing and i didn't deserve a girl like her and it kills me inside to know that i screwed it up all because i was an idiot. I really hope to god that someday i see her again and she gives me another chance. I just want to be with her so badly and to be the man that she deserves. I try to believe that maybe this is all for a greater purpose and that eventually when we are both ready we will be back together someday... I can't bear to think that I screwed up my only chance with her. It has been almost 4 months since we broke up and i still love her and always will, no matter what my stupid brain makes me think at times.

I know it probably doesn't help much but these feelings will eventually go away. And you will find someone you like even more and look back on this as a blessing.

You've learned a life lesson, and your life will be better for it even if it's without her. Someone new will come along.
It won't be her, and doesn't have to be her.

Fear not.

Wishing her back is never ever going to do anything. GO CONTACT HER AND REPEAT TO HER EXACTLY WHAT YOU WROTE HERE. DO IT NOW.

It's been a decade and still to this day, I think about the love of my life. She talked to me for awhile, but I made the mistake of analyzing the period of time we were together and told her I was sorry for all the things I was able to surmise that was my fault. She thanked me for closure and never spoke to me again. Perhaps she no longer held the love required to forgive an idiot and only saw the broken person for who I am.

So did I. She had the perfect personality for me. I screwed up my relationship with her like I screw up everything else in my life.

Now I can't even manage to start a relationship with a different girl.

When I'm on old man I'll look back on my life and see that my only relationship lasted for a few months.

My ex-fiancée was the "love of my life."

She got into drugs, though, and other kinds of craziness.

We couldn't sustain our relationship. She went out with a drug guy, instead.

Am I the only one who feels regret frustration on seeing a happy young couple walking by?

Yeah....sometimes.

But then I think: maybe they'll get into a fight tomorrow.

Or they'll just get bored with each other.

I think we are going to get along on this forum! hahaha xD

I love you all. Thank you for replying, each and every1 of cha. Sorry about not responding back to every1 btw, i just get tired thinking of talking to a lot of people. I know that probably sounds messed up, but meh, it's just the way i am. Just know I appreciate the replies <3

I did, multiple times. She never responded :/

Oh man, sorry.

though i may be understating it, often it proves hard to really look at yourself and at the consequences of your actions and words in the moment of an argument...or any conflict really.

i bet if we were all conscious of this at all times, there would be less arguments. though that may be asking a lot. but i don't know what happened between you and her.

i have experienced a situation like yours some years ago, the main difference being that we never officially "got together' and i was beating myself not merely for losing her, but for losing her before i realized her true intentions with me, realize them too late. but the message to myself was the same, I WAS A f****n' DUNCE!

though that experience was nevertheless, pricelessly valuable to me as it imparted unto myself critical lessons about communication timing...hell relationships in general...i would't have real relationship number one if it weren't for utter failure number one. but i guess that's the way it is with most things?

this is growth, and i can tell you are a good person and deserve a second chance with someone else based on your introspection and realization of mistakes (whatever they may be). sadly, many people never get this far and end up soiling relationship after relationship, in a cycle, naught learning

fear not!! !



i also did this with the aforementioned former LO once, after i realized what was happening no response.

maybe they want to move on. maybe they have no words.

Man... I know your pain.

About 9 years ago, a week into college, I met a girl that I came to love. she accepted me for who I was, and we spent all of our time together. The 3 years we spent in college together were mostly quite blissful. I knew I was going to marry her.

Well, I graduate, and she ended up having to spend 2 more years in college. Meanwhile, I enter the workforce. I proposed to her a year after graduation, and we decide to wait for her to graduate. the date keeps getting pushed back by her parents, who think I'm a failure at this point (Pretty much entirely her mother), and significant disagreements about the wedding that I overblew to a great degree eventually bring us to our breaking point. I was living in a renovated motel room at that point, and was very broke, and starting to worry about money. Then, at that point, in a fit of silly rage about how many guests we were going to have at the wedding (her mother wanted 300!) an argument arose, and I told her I didn't know if I loved her anymore. That was a grave mistake. That and I admitted to her that I had fallen from my Christian faith(which was a strong part of our bond early on) catalyzed our split.

I knew her for 5 years, and we split. that was 4 years ago. the first year, I just felt numb, and at that point, I really felt alone. It took another year to start to come to terms with what happene. I haven't had a relationship come close to what I had since.

And yet, somehow, I survived. I think the blame, if any, was shared. I was stupid and antagonistc, she was not communicating what she felt, and her mother and sister worked to break us up. At this point, I just see it for what it was: a bittersweet experience that I learned from. This was all before I knew I has ASD too. If I had know, maybe things would have worked... but I hope that someday I will find someone that I can work with. Someone who understands.

Sorry if this was rambly, there's just so many aspects of what happened, it's hard to coherently talk about it. In summary, I know what you feel, you're not alone, and there are other fish in the sea out there for you. It's harder for us, but not impossible.

Why do we always say the wrong thing to the right girl?