Sorry for my attitude lately, but nothing will change me

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I made an awful fool of myself from many of my recent posts here. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to punish myself with such. I understand that people are only trying to give advice or sympathize with me, but at the end of the day, I don't feel like my opinion or outlook has really changed.

I have discussed a lot of my life problems right now almost like an open book. My problem is that my feelings get so bad sometimes it really starts to be on the borderline of self-harm thoughts. Sometimes I have even scared myself or others around me by saying these things openly. I try to want to prevent that from happening again.

I have discussed that a very priority desire for me is that I want a relationship or be able to flirt/date with any type of girls I want to, but I know I still need to jump through insurmountable hoops to get there, like any paid work at all (even volunteer work doesn't sound like enough), have my own car, etc.

As for the car, people around me and online have said that I don't have as much reason to worry because there are other methods, and the rise of autonomous cars. But they can give me all of that until they are blue in the face, but it will not change my simple desire just to have a driver's license or permit.

I'll be devastated if all of these things turn out to be close-to or insurmountable at all due to my disabilities. I guess I've also been speaking with my neurologist about the possibility of having a borderline IQ. Sadly, I only feel alienated when I'm around the "special needs" crowds, it doesn't help me any better like it does some people here.

Your IQ probably isn't "borderline."

You just worry too much.

I have discussed that a very priority desire for me is that I want a relationship or be able to flirt/date with any type of girls I want to, but I know I still need to jump through insurmountable hoops to get there, like any paid work at all (even volunteer work doesn't sound like enough), have my own car, etc.

dating could be a long term goal. but, half of marriages end in divorce. you could be fine single too.

As for the car, people around me and online have said that I don't have as much reason to worry because there are other methods, and the rise of autonomous cars. But they can give me all of that until they are blue in the face, but it will not change my simple desire just to have a driver's license or permit.

get a driving instructor with experience working with clients with your diagnoses.

I'll be devastated if all of these things turn out to be close-to or insurmountable at all due to my disabilities. I guess I've also been speaking with my neurologist about the possibility of having a borderline IQ.

if you want to know what your IQ score is, hire a psychologist to administer the IQ test.

some people have "borderline IQ" scores.

low IQ scores are not choices or felonies.

high IQ scores are not moral virtues.

I wish people would stop trying to push being happy to be single on us. Even though I was single for a little over one year now, I really long for another relationship, but I can't seem to find one because of my anxiety and social reclusiveness, and my lack of life that I can offer, especially like a job so I have money to go on dates.

A couple hours ago I woke up in the middle of the night (right now it is after 7am here) crying and praying/begging for peace and a beautiful woman who can be my girlfriend. Never acted this way much before. It was triggered by the thoughts of heartbreak I had for a couple people in my life who are now dating, and I sometimes can think nothing but how happy together they are and how lonely I am. Also, I wanted to date her originally, but who am I kidding? I had nothing to offer.

If there was a genuine guide that would help much with us poor aspie males or poor awkward NTs to become successful and confident with women or how to overcome loneliness and lack of confidence/reclusiveness, whether for relationships or just even sex, I would be extremely happy. I wish somebody here can just shoot me a PM (permission first) if they want to genuinely help me or have advice/resources.