Dating someone with schizophrenia

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PeanutButterFred
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15 Jul 2017, 4:52 pm

Hello I am new here and I have a question. I've never dated before but there's a girl I've been talking to on Tinder who sounds really nice and like we'd get along really well. I think if I asked her to date me she'd say yes. But she says she has schizophrenia. I really want to this to work, but what do you think? Should I date someone with schizophrenia?



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16 Jul 2017, 1:52 am

PeanutButterFred wrote:
Hello I am new here and I have a question. I've never dated before but there's a girl I've been talking to on Tinder who sounds really nice and like we'd get along really well. I think if I asked her to date me she'd say yes. But she says she has schizophrenia. I really want to this to work, but what do you think? Should I date someone with schizophrenia?


If you can cope with her psychotic episodes.



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16 Jul 2017, 8:31 am

She might not have UNPLEASANT psychotic episodes. Be careful not to stereotype. She might not have UNPLEASANT delusions either. Or maybe schizophrenia was just a label someone gave her and she isn't at all. :) You use your judgment, we all have it and it's there for a reason.



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16 Jul 2017, 4:51 pm

I think it is honorable, but don't underestimate how challenging it will be. On the other hand it can sometimes be well treated.

It really depends, but "unpleasant" is subjective. Even if they are not a danger to anyone, which most aren't there are a bunch of considerations not least their ability to consent or comprehend at certain moments in time.

There is a differnce between delusions and disordered thinking. Disordered thinking skews the whole though process actively. It is not simply about believing something odd or hearing voices. reality is actively getting scrambled up, where as a delusion can be somewhat consistent. Go of indication disordered thinking is word salad.

I have a cousin with schizophrenia. He has a long distance relationship with some I also believe has mental illness. he also has a son. I also knew some one once who I believe expressed an interest in me, however it was hard to know if this was a genuine desire. When she invited me back to her room in a hostel for vulnerable people, I declined becuase I wasn't sure how she would interpret event later, as her interpretation of event has be very changeable and inconsistent. I also thought were weren't that compatible anyway. I did feel bad for her becuase her illness had led her to be homeless, and by the sounds of of it her relationship with her mother was not good.

The nature schizophrenia is that episodes can happen at any moment, if there is not medication that works. Onset can be quite subtle.



Last edited by 0_equals_true on 16 Jul 2017, 5:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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16 Jul 2017, 5:03 pm

I would say if their writing is not indicative of disordered thinking, then if you feel like it continue talking to them. Maybe ask them if they have any treatment that works.

Word salad example would be "The dog barked becuase the sky was blue". Obviously it is unlikely the sky being blue has anything to do with a dog barking and even if it did if there is pattern of many dubious connections or sentences that are illogical or meaningless then it is more likely that their thought process itself is disrupted.

A really good description of schizophrenia is like some dreams. They make sense at the time, but when you wake up they might not make any sense. Your justification for things, you actions and thoughts during the dream seem to make sense and you didn't question them. Yet on waking this no longer holds true. So their behaviour can be rather like that, it can make sense to them at the time, even though it make no logical sense.

However the differnce is they don't always "wake" to a logical state, but different illogical state, where they are confused not just by reality by what has culminated as a result of disordered thinking.



Last edited by 0_equals_true on 16 Jul 2017, 5:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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16 Jul 2017, 5:17 pm

While mental illness caries taboo and stigma some fear towards unpredictable/volatile behavior is natrual, and you would have to know someone really well to know likely outcomes. So not something worth rushing into.