Rivals with another woman?

Post Reply New Topic

I have attended the same congregation for over two years now and I have even made friends with a few people there along with getting along with just about everyone who attends but one other female who's about my age. I honestly cannot stand her because she rubs me the wrong way along with feeling that she's rather pretentious and conceited everytime she is around me:x while being nice to everyone else. Here are some examples:

Today:
1. I ended up meeting her mother, who is the complete opposite and I found out that her other grown son is very well known and has written several books and has been on TV. As one of my friends and I were wrapping up talking to her, her daughter came over with this angry tone by trying to rush her mom to leave. "Come on let's get going!"
2. A few minutes later, I was trying to round up my friend's son and I called my friend's name and I heard this woman mocking me by saying the name of my friend which I mocked her back playfully and walked away.

Other situations
1. Just about every time I walk into a room she makes a habit of walking out
2. Whenever I have tried talking to her, she makes a habit of making an excuse that she is getting ready to leave.
3. Back in March, she told me that she works for a nutrition health food store online for her brother who is a nutritionist and is very smart. I said I was interested in that kind of stuff and I happened to ask her what the name was. She responded by saying,"But you won't be buying because our products are very expensive."
4. Back in May, I was talking to her about favorite colors and I said that my favorite color is purple and she said "My little girl and I do too. We are just wearing pink today." I happened to point out her daughter's pants which have different colors and purple was one of them. "I said there's some purple in there." She snapped at me, "Of course there is along with teal, and green and pink." : roll:
5. I have seen her find a habit of making fun of me by laughing at things that I do and say on several occasions.

I feel like she and I are rivals but what do you guys think?

Oh dear. She seems to have a chip on her shoulder.

Not sure there's anything you can do about someone like that. She's not being very mature.

You can only control how you behave. My mum tells me that when a toddler has a tantrum you have to keep your temper for them. I think it's the same in this with adults. She can't behave like a grown up, so you'll have to be the mature one who stops this falling into tit for tat pettiness.

Don't be tempted to be petty back at her. Hold your head up and carry on regardleds and people will see her for who she is.

I have wondered if she is envious of her brother's success while she is working as an administrator answering emails so I would not be surprised that she has a chip on her shoulder.

Other things though, I overheard had talked to some other people in the congregation one time in this really angry tone that someone was trying to destroy her reputation and that she's a "Popular girl," and could not understand why this person didn't like her and was out to get her and how they were "Crazy."

On the contrary, I don't get why in the world she is lashing out at me like this when we barely know each other and I don't interact with her that much otherwise.

As the next time she wants to pick on me, is there anything that I could say in order to set boundaries with her?

Having a private word might be best rather than calling her out in front of other people.

Don't blame either. There's a load of articles on the internet about communication without blame.

The general rule is don't say "you always do x" in an accusatory tone. Rather say, "when you do x it makes me feel y"

She sounds tricky to deal with so might try and even flip that round and say something like "well no one else has a problem with me".

Don't list all the things she's done. That will sound petty. Just say "we seem to have got off on the wrong foot and I want to make things right between us."

In a congregation setting it's not so much for me but for the peace of the congregation. We need to work as a team and get along and I'm concerned that I've done something to offend you.

Try not to turn it into an argument. Try and seek a peaceful understanding rather than trying to win the argument.

She makes me so angry that it's not even funny and especially over the fact that she withheld information with me regarding who her brother is and I like him.

On the contrary, I feel really sorry for her in that she can't be nice to me though she sometimes says "Hi."