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Ramintafromlt
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Joined: 12 Jul 2017
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Posts: 3

16 Jul 2017, 3:11 pm

The story: two years ago I started a new hobby: fire spinning. Because of it I met this adorable guy. He chatted me up in one convention and of course I freezed... After that I asked him a few technical fire spinning question on facebook (I hate that I can't do small talk and talk about nothing :c ) , looked at his profile, we liked a lot of similar things. Later we met two more times, the second time I saw that he is just as shy as me and hates making eye contact ♥ my boi ♥ the third time we didn't talk except from 'hi'. Also not so long ago he created a group in which he teaches others various spinning tricks and noticed that learn super quickly and chatted about that a bit ^_^

The point is, we are seeing each other in about a month. I would like to finally say more that three words to him irl, but I suck at convertations :c any help from more experiences people with AS would be highly appreciated. I don't want to make a conversation into a interrogation, that is my biggest problem, I also never know what to say and my answer most of time is 'yeah' or 'cool...'.

thank you :heart:



the_phoenix
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Joined: 30 Jan 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,489
Location: up from the ashes

16 Jul 2017, 6:43 pm

My advice to you when you see him would be,
relax.

Because I met a guy at work like this.
Sometimes I need to go to his desk and ask him questions.
I soon learned that he avoids eye contact and
does not answer questions if you try to make small talk.
I took a guess that he's on the autism spectrum.

So now when I visit his desk to ask a question,
I say a simple "hi" ...
I avoid eye contact ...
I give just a small smile, and ask my question,
making sure to let him know the relevance.
This way, he is far more relaxed around me,
and I can tell that in his own way,
he treats me in a friendly manner.

Now you are looking for a deeper relationship than
being friends at work ...
so at some point, you two will have to get to know each other better.
Basically what I'm saying is,
it's okay to take it slow and easy.

Here's hoping somebody with better small talk skills
will now come along and offer you some additional help and advice.

Meanwhile, hope this helps! :)